Little Feeling
by peach83
Summary: When hotshot assistant district attorney Santana Lopez got her heart broken years ago, she thought nothing, or no one for that matter could ever break her again. Well, that's until beautiful dancer Brittany S. Pierce comes back from Paris.
1. Beautiful Dancer

**LITTLE FEELING**

**by peach83**

**SUMMARY: **When hotshot assistant district attorney Santana Lopez got her heart broken years ago, she thought nothing, or no one for that matter could ever break her again. Well, that's until beautiful dancer Brittany S. Pierce comes back from Paris. Walls which had been built starts to crumble and feelings long buried begin to resurface.

**DISCLAIMER: **Just borrowing my favorite characters.

**CHAPTER 1 BEAUTIFUL DANCER **

_An exhausted, young prosecutor entered as the door to the one-bedroom unit in an apartment complex at downtown LA was pushed open that rainy night. She wore a black skirt, crisp white blouse, and a black coat which she immediately took off, along with her four-inch stilettos. Without turning the lights on, she ventured her way into her apartment, loosening her white tie in the process. She carelessly tossed her briefcase towards her brown leather couch, too lazy to approach the living room._

_Walking barefoot, she headed straight to the kitchen and immediately found a fresh bottle of water from the fridge. Feeling dehydrated, she drank the water up to the last drop. She had a very tiring, long day. Too many cases to deal with; it seemed impossible. While she managed to attend to all of her court hearings, meet with clients, and prepare her trial briefs, she was drained. _

_She just had her anniversary at the prosecutor's office, and yet, nothing in her life had changed. Well, except for her busy schedule. There didn't seem to be any progress in the financial aspect of her life. Not that she cared. Monetary gain wasn't what she was after when she decided she wanted to be a lawyer. She was earning enough, but she knew she wasn't going to get rich in public service. If she wanted to be rich, she just had to accept Noah's offer to make her a partner in his law firm. _

_Yes, Noah. _

_As in Noah Puckerman. _

_Noah was almost her bestfriend. Surprising, but he was one of the best in their class; herself included, of course. And now that he was in private practice, he wouldn't stop in his efforts in trying to lure her into corporate law. Santana would love to work with Noah just like they worked together as students in law school, but she loved being a prosecutor too much. Right now, crossing sides had never crossed her mind. _

_But Noah assured her that the offer still stands. Anytime she wants to take it. _

_Santana couldn't help but smile at her friend's sincere gesture. Throwing the now empty bottle into the trash, she walked her back to the living room and let herself collapse on her couch. A rather tiny squeak escaped her mouth as her butt made contact with something hard that definitely wasn't part of her couch. _

_She was quite sure it wasn't her briefcase._

_Curious, she reached for the lamp on her right, switched it on and lifted the offending article near the light for inspection. _

_It was a black pouch that certainly wasn't hers. _

_Dark eyebrows contorted as her eyes turned to the direction of her closed bedroom door. _

"_Quinn? You didn't tell me you're staying over." Santana assumed. She'd only given her key to her eight-month pregnant bestfriend just so she could stay anytime she pleased._

_There was no answer from Quinn. _

"_Quinn?" She repeated. _

_Santana heaved a deep sigh. There was only one reason why Quinn preferred Santana's place over her own; her turbulent love life. Santana or any of their friends were not particularly fond of Quinn's ex-boyfriend Sam Evans, father of her child. It was a complicated relationship. When Quinn decided to leave him, he wouldn't stop bothering her. Santana had suggested a restraining order and was more than willing to help, but Quinn didn't think it was necessary. _

_Assuming that her bestfriend was currently wallowing and that Quinn needed her, Santana headed to her bedroom, reached for the doorknob and pulled it open. _

_She froze._

_Standing in front of her bedside table, staring at the only photo frame in there with her back turned on Santana wasn't Quinn. She was blonde, alright, but certainly wasn't her pregnant friend, Quinn Fabray. _

_It was Brittany S. Pierce. _

_And Brittany was still staring at the picture on the bedside table which so happened to be a picture of Santana and her. _

"_Britt..." She breathed out. Santana couldn't believe it. Even when she said her name, she couldn't believe Brittany was there, inside her room, staring at the picture of them together._

_Oops. _

_She wasn't supposed to see that picture._

_Brittany who had been expecting her then turned around to face her. It had been a long time since they last saw each other or talked to each other for that matter, and now they stood in silence, both not knowing what to say._

_Talk about awkward._

_The phone rang. _

_Thankful for the distraction, Santana shook herself out of her trance and rushed to the telephone at the living room. Right after glancing at her caller ID, she immediately knew how Brittany got inside her home._

"_You gave her the key that I gave you." Santana castigated Quinn as soon as she answered. _

"I'm not even sure what you're talking about."_ Quinn tried to lie, but unlike a lawyer who can bluff, she was pretty much transparent. _

"_I gave it to you so you could get into my apartment anytime you need some space. But I don't remember authorizing you to give my key to anyone else who needs some space." Santana tried to lower her voice, making sure that Brittany wouldn't hear. _

"Relax. It's not just anyone, it's Brittany. And she doesn't need some space. She needs some time."_ Quinn rolled her eyes and Santana could feel her bestfriend did just that from her side of the line._

"_What?"_

"Some time with you."

"_Why?"_

"_Because she's leaving tomorrow, Santana. She's finally leaving for Paris." Quinn revealed._

_Santana felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured over her head. She was surprised at the effect of the news. She hadn't been talking or hanging out with Brittany for quite some time now, so, having this feeling surprised her. She had been pulling away to let go of her and now this. _

_It was obvious she hadn't really gotten over Brittany at all. _

_She felt pathetic._

"I know you've been trying to get over your small crush-"

"_It isn't a crush." Santana firmly said._

"Well, it's better if you think of it that way because after tonight, you probably would never see her again. Look, I know what you've been struggling to do. And trust me, I know how hard it is to try to get over someone you feel so much for."

"_So why is she here? Why did you send her here?"_

"I didn't, I just helped her. Maybe she just wants to say goodbye."

_Santana Lopez hated goodbyes. _

_Both of them fell in silence, before Quinn spoke again._

"Santana, just say goodbye, okay? It's just for tonight. Have dinner and some red wine. Watch a romantic movie. Maybe steal a kiss when you're drunk enough. At least you'd have something good to remember her by."

_Santana contemplated for a while. _

"_Well, I don't want to be rude." The brunette gave in. _

"Yeah, right, like you could ever be rude to her."

_Santana just had to roll her eyes. _

"Good night, Santana."

"_Good night." Santana hung up, for a while thinking of what to say to Brittany who she realized was already standing by the door of her bedroom, leaning against the door frame, looking at her._

_She must have been watching her._

_Slightly embarrassed of the fact that Brittany might have heard what she had told Quinn over the phone, Santana felt a slight burning on her face. Then she remembered the reason why Brittany was here._

"_You're leaving." It wasn't a question. But Santana needed confirmation._

"_I've been waiting for this a long time. You know that even though we haven't been talking so much lately." Brittany pointedly said, holding her stare._

_Santana was the first to look away, not knowing what to do or say next. She needed time to think, she needed space. This seemed to be happening so fast and it was only now that she realized that Brittany could still affect her. All those efforts of trying to move on and none of it worked._

_She sighed. She needed another distraction and decided to get another bottle of water. Heading back to the kitchen, that was when she noticed what weren't there before, or maybe it had been there all this time, she just didn't notice without the candle light; the table set with dinner for two. She couldn't see the food, but it smelled good._

"_I was hoping that we could have dinner together." Brittany now stood not so far behind. It was a touching effort, slightly romantic, but Santana knew better not to think or expect so much from it. It was just dinner, no matter how special it may appear to be. She and Brittany were just friends, they always had been just friends; friends who probably would never see each other again._

_She felt a twinge of pain at the thought of not seeing Brittany. It wasn't like she had seen much of her in the recent months, but at least she was around. At least they were in the same city, in the same country. _

_Paris was a whole different story._

_Brittany was moving from one continent to another._

"_San?" Brittany called her out of her stupor._

"_Yeah, of course." Since seeing Brittany that night, it was the first time that Santana allowed a smile to cross her face. She walked towards one of the chairs, while Brittany followed, occupying the seat just opposite hers._

_Sitting with Brittany across her, Santana felt rather shy and awkward all of a sudden. Maybe it was the lack of contact or communication, or maybe it was the fact that she was here, alone with Brittany, them having a romantic dinner. It was foolish really, but she didn't know what to say. They were only supposed to eat, but she couldn't seem to know how to start either. Then she heard Brittany let out a short laugh; that laugh that she always found endearing. She looked up at her and noticed the glint in the dancer's eyes._

_Brittany was genuinely amused._

"_What?" Santana faked annoyance._

"_Come on, dig in. Don't be shy. I know you're hungry." Brittany motioned for Santana to help herself with the food. Santana realized Brittany had used her fancy and never-used china and silver ware, but she didn't mind. _

"_I'm not shy. I just don't know if it's safe to eat these." Santana joked as she motioned to the sumptuous meal in front of her; a combination of steak, mashed potatoes, vegetables and red wine._

_Brittany just watched Santana with a smile, not bothering with a response. _

_Santana felt her face burning even more. It was weird to have Brittany staring at her like this; she never did that before. And when Santana caught Brittany's eyes, both of them simultaneously looked away. Santana lifted her fork and knife and proceeded to cutting her steak, excited to have a taste of the blonde's cooking. Brittany returned to watching her, and the prosecutor tried to ignore the stare that was making her feel so self-conscious._

"_So, how many of your friends did you share a special dinner with?" Santana lifted a curious eyebrow at the blonde._

"_It doesn't matter." Brittany shrugged._

"_It does to me."_

"_Why?"_

"_I just want to know my rank in your order of priority." Santana joked, never anticipating that Brittany would actually answer._

"_It's just you."_

_It totally wasn't the answer she was expecting._

_Santana stared gaping._

"_You look shocked." Brittany looked in amusement then continued. _

_Santana shrugged in response, trying so hard to hide the fact that she was still feeling nervous under the dancer's unwavering stare. _

"_It's just you, San. Just you." Brittany spoke again. _

_Santana was surprised, suddenly feeling a glimmer of hope. But the lawyer immediately dismissed it as a work of her imagination. She knew better than giving a different meaning to the blonde's super friendly gestures. This was after all, Brittany Pierce, her straight friend who never lets anyone too close._

_Santana took a bite._

"_Mmm... Who cooked these?" Santana said, purposely steering the topic away._

"_I'm offended." Brittany feigned hurt, but her eyes betrayed her._

"_Who would have thought that you could cook anything other than water?" Santana smiled. _

"_So I'm not the domesticated type. It doesn't mean I can't follow instructions from a cook book." Brittany began slicing her own steak._

"_I think it's safer to have my food delivered. Eating out isn't so bad either."_

"_You're worse than I am." Brittany laughed._

"_Thanks." Santana smirked._

"_How are you ever going to survive when you're married?"_

"_Who says anything about getting married?"_

"_So you're sticking to that bet of yours, huh? You don't think you'll get married before you're 30." The blonde asked, quirking an eyebrow._

"_Well, Prop. 8 is yet to reach the US Supreme Court which I'm sure it will, and the Mormons have this unexplainable need to reduce people like me into some kind of second class citizen which means they are going to fight for their offending proposition until they are dead, so, I doubt that there's going to be any marriage in my future, 30 years old or not."_

"_Is Mischa Barton still your fantasy wife?" Brittany playfully narrowed her eyes at the brunette._

"_Hey, it could happen, you know."_

"_You'll get married before you're 30." Brittany confidently countered as she lifted the glass of red wine to her lips, taking a sip. _

"_And you're sticking to that?" _

"_Yeah."_

"_Why?"_

_There was a short pause._

"_I don't want you to grow old alone." Blue eyes bravely looked up to meet a curious pair of browns. _

"_Can't we just grow old, together? You and me." Santana surprised herself with the sudden brazenness. She had always stayed clear of Brittany's radar, avoiding anything that would give Brittany an idea of how she really feels for her. Santana tried it as a joke, but it came out as sincere as she really was. _

_When Brittany did not reply, Santana felt the panic building inside. She was afraid that she just made Brittany uncomfortable. But the dancer didn't seem to be planning on walking out any moment now. On the contrary, Brittany looked like she had been pondering on something. _

"_Do you want to dance?"_

_That question definitely caught the lawyer off-guard._

"_What?" A confused frown crossed Santana's face. Was that all Brittany had been thinking? She totally ignored the joke, which, of course, Santana was thankful for. Maybe Brittany did not hear her._

"_I'm sure you can manage to sway back and forth to a slow song." The dancer continued with a smirk, looking smug._

"_This isn't a date, right?" Santana almost slapped herself with her come back. She was acting so different that she hardly recognized her obvious attempts at flirting. This rare moment of courage to flirt with the person she had been avoiding and trying to get over from was really shocking. _

_Too late to take the jokes back. _

_She hoped Brittany would ignore it again this time. _

"_You ask too many questions." _

"_Well, I'm a prosecutor."_

"_I have the right to remain silent then." Brittany confidently replied. Santana looked amused._

"_And you learned that from whom?" _

"_Just some brilliant person I know." Brittany smiled at the brunette._

_For a few seconds they sat there, moment suspended, eyes locked on each other. _

_Santana, after realizing what she had been doing, cleared her throat and turned her eyes at everywhere but Brittany._

"_We don't have-" Before Santana could finish her sentence about her iPod docking station being down and that they had nothing to use to play music with, Brittany managed to whip out her Blackberry from somewhere, and played the one song that Santana never gets tired of listening to._

_The first notes to the instrumental version of Santana's favorite song, Songbird broke the room's silence._

"_Will you dance with me?" She found Brittany already standing in front of her. _

_Brittany reached for Santana's hand without warning, the contact sending a jolt in the brunette's now fragile heart. The lawyer didn't have time to refuse, nor did she have the strength to. Both of them now stood beside the dining table, their surroundings only illuminated by candle light, and the silence suddenly filled with the music that never failed to touch Santana's heart._

_How did Brittany even find out about that song?_

_Truth was, Santana had no idea why she loved that song so much. It could have been the lyrics. Maybe it was all about the music. There was just something about it that spoke directly to her. It was difficult to explain in words. Just the way it always made her feel described it. And just listening to it reminded her every damn time of one person only, and that person was standing dangerously close in front of her right now._

_And their proximity was making Santana feel everything._

_Every second was making her realize how short her time was to be able to look at Brittany. Quinn was right. It could be the last for a long time. Santana felt the need to memorize the details of Brittany's face, the feel of Brittany's arms around her waist, the comfort of being able to hold her close, like now, with her arms around the dancer's neck._

_All those years she had been in love with Brittany, and yet she never found the courage to tell her, with the fear of being rejected and the fear of losing their friendship. But then again, she thought of what she had gained when she decided to avoid Brittany to get over her, to move on._

_Nothing._

_These realizations were starting to hit Santana all at once. _

_The lack of Brittany's physical presence in her life in the recent months that she avoided the dancer did not really help. You just forget how it feels until you see that person again. Trying to move on from Brittany was the hardest task she had ever done. And thinking about it now, her efforts actually cost her Brittany's friendship, one of her fears._

_Santana scoffed at the irony of it. _

_Now, looking at Brittany, Santana was beginning to see how wrong she was. That she had already lost the blonde by pushing her way, and now she was going to lose her again. She knew she wasn't going to be able to stop her. But another thing she realized was that she had nothing more to lose now. _

_So screw her heart._

_She might as well lay all her cards in the table. Maybe confessing would make her feel better, maybe that was what she needed to move on. Brittany would be a thousand miles away from her in a few hours anyway._

"_You're important to me..." Santana's voiced cracked as she spoke. _

"_I know." Brittany said, the corner of her lips slightly quirking up to a small smile. _

"_No, you don't." Santana said, sounding frustrated. She could feel her heart constricting like her chest was about to explode._

_Brittany waited for her to continue, expectant._

"_I..." Santana trailed off, not knowing how to continue. Seriously, what were you supposed to say to the love of your life? Was there an 'Idiot's Guide' book for that? She made a mental note of hunting for that book as soon as possible. _

_Truth was Santana had dreamed of this moment a thousand times, when she'd have this time, this opportunity to spill all of feelings for the adorable blonde. She even made up a script in her mind. She had memorized what she was going to say to Brittany and recited it in her head a million times over before, just in case she could find that courage to tell the dancer in the future. _

_Who would have thought this time would actually come?_

_This was that future. And conveniently, she couldn't remember a thing. She had no idea how to start._

"_I'm sorry if I haven't been there for you lately. It was intentional." Santana confessed. _

_There was a short silence as Brittany held her gaze. Santana could feel Brittany's warm breath in her face. _

"_I noticed. But I forgive you." Brittany smiled. _

_The two continued swaying in the tune of Santana's favorite song. _

"_I wish you wouldn't..." Santana whispered, her response eliciting a confused look from Brittany. _

_The brunette felt the pair of blue eyes willing her to look up. Unable to fight the urge, Santana did look up; her breath taken away by how gorgeous those pair of eyes was. _

"_I don't need another reason to... _like_ you, even more." _

_Like is an understatement. _

_Brittany's expression was undecipherable. Whether she could see through Santana right now, it was hard to determine. But the dancer was listening intently. _

"_But that's the problem. If I could ignore it, I would. I was so afraid of losing you, our friendship. So I tried, but seeing you just makes it worse. That's why I tried to avoid you." Santana rambled.. _

"_Is that supposed to enlighten me?" Brittany looked more confused than ever before._

"_I'm a better writer than speaker." Santana could feel her heart pounding against her chest._

"_Obviously." Brittany said jokingly to lighten up the situation, although she still looked utterly curious. _

"_I avoided you because I had to." Santana said in exasperation._

_There was an apparent change in the blonde's facial expression. Seeing that, Santana's nerves doubled._

"_No you didn't. And that was selfish." It was scary how Brittany's blue eyes could be all warm and shining one minute and then cold steel the next. _

"_I was trying to preserve our friendship." Santana turned into defensive mode._

"_What friendship? You said it yourself, you haven't been there for me lately. Some friend you are." The hurt in Brittany's voice was clear. _

"_You don't really get it, do you?"_

"_Well, I don't really understand what you're trying to say. Friends are supposed to be there for each other. It would have been easy to hate you. But I don't hate you because you really are important to me."_

"_You're important to me too, that's why-"_

"_That's why you're hurting me by avoiding me?"_

"_I'm avoiding you because I'm trying NOT to hurt you or scare you because it's so damn easy to fall in love with you!" _

_Santana's jaw dropped at her sudden revelation. She took a step back but Brittany's arms around her waist and the hands on her back held her in place. _

_Brittany didn't look surprise. She just waited patiently for Santana to continue. _

_Santana sighed._

"_You have a lovely smile. Every time I hear you laugh, it makes me want to laugh with you even there's no reason to. You listen to me, and no matter how boring I get talking about politics or the cases I'm handling, you try to understand me. You're carefree with this wonderful outlook about the world, and that's awesome. I think you're awesome..." Santana couldn't help it when her lips formed into a smile._

_She continued._

"_Sometimes, although very rare, you have crazy mood swings and got one hell of a pride, but you're wonderful nonetheless. You're an amazing dancer who can express your feelings just by your movements and sometimes I can't help but watch you. You don't make promises that you can never keep. You appreciate the small things people do for you. You're hard-working, ambitious, and incredibly intelligent. You make it interesting to watch the ducks in the park even though on previous occasions I tried doing it without you I thought I was lame. You... You light everything up for me, Britt." _

_Santana improvised. Screw her prepared monologue, though she wished she could be a little less cheesy. It was like someone else was talking for her. But at least she got to say what she wanted to say, right? _

"_And avoiding you did not help at all. I tried not to because you're my friend, but..." Santana couldn't stop herself when she lifted her right hand to touch Brittany's face._

_Brittany did not move. Her eyes remained fixed on the babbling lawyer._

"_Brittany, I love you so much..." Finally being able to say what she had been hiding from Brittany all those time, Santana felt like a thorn had been pulled out from her chest. The rare moment of courage even lasted longer than she expected, prompting her to make an even bolder move._

_Blame it on the surge of feeling; a mixture of love, adoration, excitement, longing and relief, Santana closed the gap between her and Brittany's face, claiming Brittany's lips for one searing kiss; a kiss that surprised her as it surpassed her expectations. She always imagined it, being able to kiss Brittany, how it would feel._

_As amazing as it felt, Santana was more surprised by the fact that Brittany did not push her away, nor made any effort to. When Santana pulled back, her lips red and her face flustered by their very first kiss, she tried to read Brittany's face. She felt a mixed feeling of relief and dread; dread of hearing the expected rejection. Santana had prepared for that, but an express rejection did not come. Instead, she found the look of loneliness in Brittany's eyes, the pool of tears forming in her beautiful, sad eyes._

"_Oh my God, I'm sorry, I-" Before Santana could finish stuttering her words of apology, assuming that she had offended Brittany, she was interrupted. _

_Interrupted by the pair of soft lips that kept her so busy just a while ago, now less tamed, demanding. Needless to say, it was a very welcome interruption._

_The second kiss was unrestrained, frenzied, like wild fire. Santana felt deliriously happy and in disbelief that this was even happening, or that this time it wasn't her who initiated it. She didn't hold back, and she responded to Brittany's kiss like there was no tomorrow. _

_Well, for them, there wasn't. Brittany would be Paris-bound tomorrow. _

_Santana, as much as she didn't want to, pulled back, catching her breath. _

"_I have to stop now..." Santana whispered, staring at Brittany's lips. It was tempting her again, so Santana tried to focus on Brittany's eyes._

_Brittany did not say anything. She caressed Santana's face, staring at her plump lips, but did not respond._

"_If I don't, I might not be able to stop..." It was a warning. God knows what had been going through Santana's mind right now. It was taking all of her energy just restraining herself from ravishing Brittany's lips over and over again. But she was about to find out that although she could control herself, she couldn't control Brittany._

_Brittany moved in for a third kiss. _

_It was gentle, slow. Santana let her right hand travel from Brittany's neck downwards, stopping at the top of Brittany's heart. _

_The beating was frantic._

"_I don't want to leave you..." Brittany whispered in Santana's lips, in between kisses. _

_The kiss intensified again, from slow and gentle, to urgent and yearning. It didn't take long before Santana felt the need to feel something more than just the beating of Brittany's heart. As to how they reached Santana's bedroom, she couldn't remember. Santana was a little bit too busy to even try._

_By morning, Brittany was gone, with no evidence of their previous rendezvous except the scent of her hair left on Santana's pillow._

"_Britt?"_

"Britt..."

Santana Lopez woke up with a start. Her heart was pounding against her chest at a scary pace. Feeling the sweat trickling her forehead, she hastily wiped a drop that ran down the right side of her face. Looking around her, she let out a deep sigh. It was all a dream. Rather a four-year old memory that she had been revisiting lately. It was still dark outside, and glancing at the digital clock resting on her nightstand showed the time as 3:30 a.m. She groaned and allowed herself to fall back to bed, intent on getting some well-deserved sleep that she had been deprived of in the recent weeks because of the important case that was about to be concluded that morning.

She had to sleep.

With her eyes closed, she tried her hardest to clear her head of the dream she just had. The task, however, seemed impossible as, despite her sleepiness, she just couldn't seem to contain the 'memories' being played over and over again, without intention, in her sleep state. It had been years. It hadn't been easy to get Brittany out of her system, out of her life. A period too depressing to look back to, and now, it haunted her in her dreams. Maybe it took sometime, but Santana eventually found a way to not think about her. So why did she have to come to her dreams? Why now?

Santana could only wonder. And while she was not about to admit it, every once in a while, she did wonder how Brittany was doing.

It was 9:30 in the morning; a normally busy hour at the Los Angeles district courthouse. Inside the courtroom of the well-reputed judge, William Hart, a particularly agitated assistant district attorney sat behind the prosecution table. She was young, beautiful, and sharply dressed for that particular occasion. Normally, she was dressed to impress; after all, one of her former professors in law school taught them that impressions mattered. It might even help you win a case. But this wasn't just an ordinary trial day. She made sure she wore her most expensive and most fine-looking suit, the one she rarely wore; a gray skirt reaching just above her knees, a white silk blouse and a gray coat, all Armani, an ensemble that fits her perfectly, which she matched with her gray pair of Jimmy Choo's. Her friend Kurt Hummel, a rising fashion designer gave it to her as a gift, as promised when she passed the bar. With mixed feeling of impatience and nervousness, the lady prosecutor drummed her fingers on top of the table; impatient because she had been there since 8:30 a.m., and nervous of the upcoming verdict.

Today was judgment day.

Conviction or acquittal.

She had been a prosecutor for four years. She prosecuted rape cases and murder. She won more times than she lost. Her boss, District Attorney Sebastian Stark, pegged her to be his possible successor. That was very flattering, of course, and a confidence-booster, but Santana's confidence decided to take a leave of absence at the moment.

Today, she was scared as hell. And unlike those other murder cases, this was the only one she worked with her heart out from the very beginning up to this end. All the others, she just inherited and continued prosecuting. She knew she shouldn't have been attached; it was a no-no for a lawyer to get so attached to a case. But she believed that she was prosecuting the right person, believed in his guilt. She got the case a few months ago, appalled by the gruesomeness of the crime, and silently promised the victims the justice that they deserve. The murder victim was a woman, and had she been alive, she would have been 28 years old like her, and the child in her womb would have born already. She was shot in the head in her bed while sleeping; it killed her on the spot. She was 'rescued' more than four hours later, too late to save the baby. And the man alleged to have killed her, was her supposed to be rescuer, her less than sympathetic husband.

There was never a moment that the assistant district attorney doubted her assessment of his guilt.

"All rise." The bailiff said as the door from the judge's chamber opened, and there entered Judge Hart. The lady prosecutor scrambled to her feet, and as she stood looking up at the judge, she heard a slight snickering behind her. She turned around to give a playful glare at her snickering friend sitting along with the spectators, who tried his best to contain his laughter.

It was rare to see Santana Lopez this nervous.

As Santana sat down again, the clerk called out other cases, mostly less serious, all of which were postponed due to the absence of witnesses, and finally, the lady prosecutor's case was called, and the judge turned to the foreman of the jury.

"Have you reached a verdict?" Judge Hart's gentle voice filled the surprisingly quiet courtroom. The foreman, a rather pudgy middle-aged man, stood up and handed a paper to the bailiff. The bailiff approached Judge Hart and handed the paper to the latter who in turn, read the contents briefly, before handing it back to the bailiff, and the bailiff, to the foreman.

"Mr. Stone, please stand up." Judge Hart ordered the accused husband, who stood up as ordered with his lawyer, some hot shot from a big law firm in LA.

Her hands were shaking as she listened and waited anxiously for the verdict.

"You wouldn't be the one going to jail if found guilty for Murder One, you know." An amused voice whispered not far away from behind her.

Santana threw a fleeting glance at the direction of one of her close friends, Mike Chang. They went to law school together and joined the same confraternity. He was in private practice and, just like Noah, was finding it very lucrative.

"I know." She whispered back.

"Santana..."

"What?" She snapped.

"Relax."

"I am relaxed."

"Relaxed? You're about to have a seizure with the rate your hands are shaking and all we have here are liars and no doctors." He joked, making her smile. "You're Santana Lopez. You don't get scared. Get your game face on." Satisfied with the reaction from his confraternity sister, Mike turned his attention back to the foreman.

The lady prosecutor pulled her hand away from the table, but the feeling of nervousness was never diminished. In fact, Santana's heartbeat increased its pace even more.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, as to the charge of Murder One, how do you find the defendant?"

"We, the jury, find the defendant Emmett Stone, guilty." The foreman, his voice filled with conviction, finally declared.

For the first time since stepping into that courthouse that morning, ADA Santana Lopez was able to properly breathe.

She turned to the direction of the accused, now a convicted murderer. He had grown a beard and did not bother to shave for today. Regardless of the extra hair, and the less than humane conditions at the small cell he'd been locked in, one can still see that he was actually good-looking. He wasn't poor, but there wasn't much that his money can do for him now. There wasn't not much to discern from his facial expression. He remained looking without remorse, while Santana could hear the sobs of the murder victim's parents.

Her heart went out to them. It was a bittersweet victory. She smiled at them, and nodded her head when the victim's father mouthed a 'thank you'. How could someone do such a horrible thing to a person, more so to a pregnant woman bearing your child, a person that you love, or did love?

Santana's reverie was broken upon hearing the sound of the gavel, as if the judge just sealed the murderer's fate with finality. But of course, it wasn't final. He was probably going for an appeal. The judge stood up and headed to the door where he came out just a few minutes ago. People from the courtroom dispersed, and the prosecutor remained standing behind the prosecution table, watching as the convict was led by the jail guards, and they were passing by her direction.

For a moment, her eyes locked with the handcuffed convict's; cold, brown, calculating eyes. It sent shivers through her spine. And then he stopped beside her. The prosecutor was surprised, but she wasn't a bit intimidated despite the coldness of those eyes, so she looked back, glaring. Making sure that the murderer knew how repulsed she was by him.

"I didn't do anything wrong." The convict whispered. His voice sounded threatening rather than sincere.

"The jury says otherwise."

The convict looked up at her. She tried to hold his stare. Then the convict was finally led away by the two jail guards, to his jail cell far away from here. Hopefully, he'd be locked away for good.

"Santana Marie Lopez."

Santana smiled at the sound of the voice of another one of her friends. Another lawyer she went to school with, and like Mike, she shared a bond with; her confraternity brother Noah Puckerman. She turned to find him smiling at her, standing at the far end of the courtroom.

"Noah Puckerman." She called back. Then turned to Mike with a questioning look.

"I texted him, told him about your sweet victory. Isn't she an amazing prosecutor?" Mike grinned at Noah then turned back to her, with a mocking grin on his face.

"I just dropped by to say, congratulations Santana." Noah walked towards the two.

"Thanks."

"How about tonight, you and me, dinner, and maybe some fun later? What do you say?" Noah wiggled his eyebrows playfully, trying so hard to pass his conduct as some smooth flirting. Santana's infectious laugh filled the now empty courtroom.

"Oh please, Puck. A. Kill yourself and B. As if."

The three friends laughed at the inside joke.

"Hey, I thought we agreed not to call me 'Puck'. Your cousins thought I was a junkie when you called me 'Puck'. No one who knew me as 'Puck' would even believe that I'm a badass corporate lawyer now. I saw Artie once in Vegas and he asked me how I managed to steal a Ferrari." Noah whined as he recalled that time he ran into one of their former classmates. Artie found it hard to believe that Noah actually bought the Ferrari he was then driving.

"You know, you used to be so cool. And who said you're badass? Personally, I think you're just an 'ass'." Santana raised her left hand for a high five with Mike.

"I'm still cool, minus the mohawk."

"I'd say this calls for a celebration." Mike suggested.

"Oh, no, I-" Santana protested, but was interrupted by Noah.

"We're throwing an overnight party for you at the beach house. We've already invited our confraternity friends and some former classmates, but it's not an exclusive party, so you could invite your other hot friends over." Noah's grin grew wider.

"You SHOULD." Mike emphasized, a wide smile forming on his face.

Santana rolled her eyes.

"Did any one of you even think of asking me first if I want to have a party or not?" Santana picked up her things and started walking out of the courtroom, with her two friends behind her.

"Neither one of us are dumb enough to give you an opportunity to say no." Noah answered.

"Santana, we know how important winning this case is for you." Mike added.

"I did win. But you know, winning is sort of an everyday thing for me, so this is just one of those ordinary days." Santana said smugly.

"Your girlfriend got you on a leash?" Noah joked. Santana mockingly glared at him.

"My girlfriend is out of the country, and excuse me, no one is on a leash." Yup, Santana's sexuality was an open book. It hadn't been easy, but when she was still in law school, she found the courage to let everyone see who she really was. There was that point in her life that she just couldn't pretend or hide anymore. She was thankful that everyone she knew understood and accepted her. They were surprised, no one could really guess. Her coming out didn't really change the way they treat her, but now she was more comfortable, happier. And now she had someone who loves her.

Her awesome girlfriend who flies airplanes.

How cool was that?

"Come on, what happened to that fun girl we once knew?" Noah called after Santana when she increased her pace walking away from them.

"She grew up." Santana smiled.

"See you at 8:00?" Mike asked hopefully.

"Yup." Santana grinned. Mike and Noah raised their right hands for a high five.

It was late when Santana arrived at Noah's house in Laguna Beach with her other friends.

"I worry for your friends' livers." Quinn Fabray, Santana's photographer friend, remarked.

The prosecutor turned to Quinn who was at her right side, then followed her gaze.

They were waiting to be served dinner at the restaurant near Puck's beach house. Most of the others were celebrating with drinks by the shore, with a few bonfires, and music. Santana was actually surprised at the turn-out. Mike and Noah surely knew how to throw a party. They had invited so many people that she wasn't even sure if she knew all of them.

"Me too." Santana laughed. Drinking had been a normal past time since law school, and she had no idea how it became a sort of thing for lawyers. It was a curse.

"So, where's Kurt again?" Mercedes Jones, another one of Santana's favorite friends, inquired. The New York-based pediatrician came to LA about a month ago for an indefinite vacation. She was considering other options.

"Actually, I have no idea. He just said he'd be here before ten, and that he has a surprise for me." Santana looked amused. Kurt really didn't have to get her anything.

"Crap. We didn't get you anything." Quinn looked apologetically at Santana, then turned to Mercedes. "Why didn't we get her anything?"

"Forget it. I don't think I deserve any gift for doing what is supposed to be my job. Though, you can get me a new iPhone for my birthday." Santana wiggled an eyebrow at Quinn.

"Or you could get your goddaughter that x-box she's been begging for." Quinn was a single mother, and made all Santana, Mercedes and Kurt her daughter's godparents.

"Hey, she's only four, and I'm a public servant. I couldn't even buy my dream car."

"Well, an x-box definitely costs cheaper than a Porsche Carrera." Quinn pointed out.

"Good point." Santana smiled. It didn't take long when the waiter finally brought their order. All of them were really hungry.

"And shouldn't Beth be playing with barbies and stuff?" Santana turned curiously at Quinn.

"You and Kurt are her godparents, are you still really surprised?" Quinn replied incredulously.

"Why did you make me a godparent along with these clowns?" Mercedes joked.

"I was hoping she'd get your brain power." Quinn replied, which earned her a playful push from Santana.

A few minutes later, the three of them were walking back to the shore where most people were gathered around the bonfires. Music was booming from big speakers not so far away from them, and it was only now that Santana realized that Noah and Mike hired a DJ.

_Nice touch. _Santana grinned.

Mercedes had found some old acquaintances and chatted with them. Quinn, on the other hand, received a call and was now busy talking over her phone, probably with her almost four year-old daughter. A few people walked up to Santana to greet her.

It was turning out to be a great night. Everybody was enjoying the music, the booze at the improvised bar set up in front of the beach house, and yes, she realized Mike and Noah did not forget dinner. It just arrived late.

So, trying to get away from what seemed to be unending congratulatory greetings, Santana finally found space, and was now sitting in front of one of the bonfires. There were less people at this part of the beach. She sat staring at the fire, thinking of what transpired early that morning in that courthouse. She was happy that she won. She felt so right about the conviction. What she couldn't forget was that cold stare from that convicted felon. And that of all the things that he could say, instead of saying that 'I didn't kill my wife', or 'I'm not guilty', he just said 'I didn't do anything wrong'. Santana found it odd.

"There's our favorite prosecutor!"

The familiar voice made her close her eyes. Santana was hoping to be alone for a while. Despite the beautiful beach and the nice party her friends organized for her, she was kind of craving for some peace. She loved being in the company of her peers, it was just that this had been a very long day.

"Santana!" It was Mike.

"Can I join you guys later? I just need some time-"

"Sorry we're late." The smile was obvious in the familiar voice.

It was Kurt, and his arrival made Santana smile.

But then she realized Kurt had said 'we'.

She was only expecting Kurt. And the only way to find out who 'we' were was to turn around and see. She had expected some of their long-lost friends, like Rachel Berry who had been busy working as a Broadway actress in New York, or Tina Cohen-Chang, an artist now touring the world with her artwork.

Well, there was Rachel Berry alright, with her annoying smile and weird fashion sense, but her eyes fell on the blonde-haired woman standing between her and Kurt Hummel.

It definitely wasn't Tina.

Those piercing blue eyes brought Santana's thoughts back to four years ago.

"Brittany Pierce." Santana, for the first time in a long time, called out that name without any trace of emotion at all.


	2. Red Roses

**CHAPTER 2 RED ROSES**

"Brittany Pierce." Santana, for the first time in a long time, called out that name without any readable trace of emotion at all.

"Hi, San." Brittany replied.

There wasn't happiness or excitement. Santana and Brittany just stood staring at each other, not knowing what to say. The surprise was obvious on Santana's part but she managed to hide it soon.

Kurt immediately picked up the weird tension. This wasn't exactly the reaction he was expecting from the lawyer when he told her he had a surprise for her over the phone. They were close, or at least, they used to be. At the moment, he wasn't really sure.

Mike knew Santana well enough to know that it was time to leave. He whispered an excuse to Kurt who just nodded. The designer's curious eyes remained fixed on his friends.

It took quite a while before the staring match between his friends who used to be very close ended. Santana couldn't be more thankful when Rachel broke the tension by running into her arms excitedly. They hadn't seen each other for over a year.

"Santana! It's so great to see you!" Rachel pulled back, smiling widely. Santana smiled back.

"Hi Rachel. Good to have you back." Santana purposely avoided looking at Brittany. She did not make any effort to come near Brittany for a hug, or for a lame handshake for that matter. "Have you seen Mercedes and Quinn already?" She asked the actress, whose eyes noticeably lit up at the mention of Quinn's name.

Santana quirked an eyebrow in amusement.

"Where are they?" Rachel asked.

"Over at Puck's house." Santana motioned towards the beach house.

"See you later Santana!" Rachel waved at her friends as she went to search for Quinn and Mercedes. Kurt, who had remained quiet all this time, had been curiously watching the cold interaction between Santana and Brittany.

"Well, it's good to see you again. If you'll excuse me..." Santana, for the first time that night, forced a smile at Brittany and Kurt before walking away from them. Kurt didn't look very happy, and followed Santana with his gaze.

"Really?" Kurt crossed his arms, watching his disbelief.

Santana just walked away from him and Brittany S. Pierce. That wasn't like Santana at all. Kurt shifted his eyes from Santana's retreating figure to the evasive blonde standing right beside him.

"I should go." Brittany turned to leave, but Kurt was fast enough to grab her by the hand.

"What's going on?" Kurt narrowed his eyes on Brittany, who looked determined to leave. She didn't look hurt by the walk-out; she just looked like that was what she had expected.

Brittany let out a deep sigh.

"Nothing." Brittany avoided the designer's eyes.

"That wasn't nothing." Kurt looked at his friend expectantly, but no explanation came. Brittany just stood in front of him, looking out on the peaceful ocean. "Is everything okay? Are you guys fighting?" Kurt prodded.

"Fighting? I haven't been around for years." She huffed.

Brittany momentarily paused to think, to figure out why she even agreed to come here. She wasn't the type who gatecrashes, but when Kurt invited her to come along at Santana's victory party, it was too hard to say no, unconsciously hoping that Santana had forgiven her.

"I'll go get a drink or something." Brittany purposely changed the topic, but before Kurt could say anything back, Brittany had already turned around and walked away.

Kurt was left standing alone, shaking his head.

"I was going to say I'd like one myself, but I guess you weren't asking." Kurt sighed and started looking around for Quinn and Mercedes.

_Paris, France..._

_Like her usual days, Brittany spent her day off from teaching at dance school helping out her fellow American and house mate Sandy in her flower shop. She had nothing better to do and besides, she loved flowers, so there wasn't any second thought when she jogged her way towards the flower shop early that morning. It felt like a weird day though. She felt displaced upon waking up. She jogged with Sandy and it was all a blur that she didn't realize they had already reached the shop. There was also that one weird encounter with a vagrant, who had a creepy look in his eyes, asking her if she wanted to see her future. They ran past him. _

_After receiving the flower delivery, Brittany started putting flowers on the display vases, but her mind was wandering somewhere else. She was too preoccupied with other thoughts that she knocked a black vase on her right, sending it crashing to the floor. It made her and her friend Sandy jump. Worried, Sandy walked towards her._

"_Are you okay? Did you get cut?" Sandy asked her friend with concern. _

"_I think I'm fine." Brittany forced a smile and bent down to pick up the pieces of broken vase. Sandy stopped her._

"_Don't touch that, I'm getting a broom." Sandy made sure that Brittany wouldn't be picking up anything. Then there was the sound of the door opening and both of their heads turned._

"_Uh... Hi..." A familiar voice greeted them._

"_Hello. Are you-" _

"_San?" Brittany interrupted before Sandy could finish asking the guest of how they could help her. _

_Thinking that it must be a friend of Brittany's, Sandy went to get the broom and left the two alone. _

"_Hey..." Santana smiled sheepishly at her. _

_Brittany smiled back. _

_Sandy caught the exchange between the two women and discreetly looked on. She had always known Brittany to be a white ball of sunshine but since arriving in Paris, she had never seen the usual spark in her eyes. _

_Until today. _

_The shine in Brittany's eyes was subtle, but her friend looked genuinely happy. Sandy couldn't help but be curious as to who this person was. _

_Santana took a few steps towards Brittany. As they now stood a few feet away from each other, Santana found herself suddenly lost for words, forgetting everything she had memorized. Before she even boarded that airplane to Paris, she made sure that she knew what she was going to say this time, but like before, now that she was in front of Brittany, she couldn't remember a word. After what happened between them, Brittany still never failed to make her nervous._

"_What are you doing here?" Brittany tried to sound casual as Sandy walked back into the room with a broom._

"_I need to talk to you. You just... disappeared." Santana held Brittany's gaze. The lawyer had no idea why but pool of tears seemed to be forming in Brittany's eyes. _

"_What about?" Of course, Brittany knew exactly why Santana had flown all the way from Los Angeles to Paris, but she had no idea how to respond, or what to say. Since leaving her country, she tried her hardest to just leave everything that happened between her and Santana behind her. It was supposed to be just a part of her past._

_The feel of evasiveness did not escape Santana. She was after all a sharp prosecutor who had cross examined so many adverse witnesses in the stand. _

"_There's something I have to know." Santana's voice was controlled, careful. _

_Sandy seemed to have taken interest in the conversation and was now purposely stalling what she was doing, still wondering who Santana is, or was, in her friend's life. Brittany stood unmoved, staring back at Santana._

"_You shouldn't have come here." It took so much courage for Brittany to say that. The effect on Santana was clear. It wasn't what the lawyer was hoping to hear._

_A tensed silence..._

"_You have a life back home, family and friends that you treasure." _

"_But you're here."_

"_Santana, I am not going to ask you to leave everything you worked hard for. I can't do that... I don't want to."_

_The conversation wasn't very loud. But it was clear enough to satisfy Sandy's curiosity as she watched and listened. Brittany rarely mentioned her life back home or what it had been like. Every time Brittany did open up about it, she always gave Sandy that feeling that there was something that she did not want to talk about, that there's something that she had been hiding. _

_That was when another person entered the flower shop, making three heads turn this time. Sandy looked worried, Brittany looked unhappy, and Santana just didn't care. The guy who had three cups of Starbucks in his hands walked with a big smile in his face, and stopped in front of Brittany._

_And without warning, he kissed Brittany._

_It felt as if Santana's world came crashing down._

_Sandy felt sorry for this person whom she didn't even know, but she felt for her nonetheless. _

_Brittany slightly pushed the guy away from her. _

"_What's wrong, sweetheart?" The guy seemed so oblivious to Santana's presence in the room. Santana could feel the rage of jealousy inside of her, threatening to explode. Her hands formed into fists. With an apologetic look, Brittany turned to look at her again. _

"_Now I know what you're trying to say." Santana left, heartbroken. Brittany ran after her. The guy watched as Brittany, his girlfriend, ran after the lady he had never seen in his life. Sandy secretly spied on the glass door. _

"_San! Santana!" Brittany managed to catch up with her just outside the flower shop. "I know what you're thinking. Please don't believe it." Brittany successfully grabbed Santana's right arm to stop her. _

"_Right now, I couldn't focus on one thought, so how could you possibly know what I am thinking?"_

"_Don't walk away from me and leave everything like this."_

"_You walked away first."_

"_San, I-"_

"_I expected too much. I saw things between us the way I wanted to see it." Santana looked at Brittany's eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that she'd never forget. "Did you ever love me?" Santana bravely asked, but somehow, she already knew the answer to that._

_The dancer was nervously tapping her foot on the pavement. She had been holding back tears, but at that point, she couldn't control them anymore as tears freely ran down her cheeks. _

"_I just want to be friends." It was almost a whisper. But it was loud enough for Santana to hear. _

"_That's exactly how I expected you'd respond. But I had to come here. I had to take a chance. And I thought I'd be prepared..." Santana immediately wiped the tears that flowed so freely down to her face, feeling slightly embarrassed that Brittany had to see her like this. "So, what happened between us, it wasn't love, right? It was just one night, one last time for you to have your one last fling." Santana wasn't asking, really. She was stating what she assumed to be an already established fact. _

"_It wasn't like that. You know that." Brittany defended._

"_That's exactly what it was."_

"_You don't understand!"_

"_Which part? It was just sex, and apparently it didn't mean anything. At least we both know that now. That's all I need to know." Santana tugged her arm free. She just wanted to get away from Brittany as far as possible. _

"_San, please, can we at least be friends?!" Brittany was full-on crying now. But Santana didn't give a shit anymore. Her ego was bruised, her heart, shattered, pulverized even. If Brittany actually shed those tears for Santana, Santana didn't know. She had already flagged a cab before Brittany could run after her._

"_Friends? FRIENDS?" Santana had already opened the door of the cab, but before climbing in, she managed to show a little bit of sarcasm. "I didn't come all the way to Paris to be friends with you Brittany." Santana then climbed into the cab and slammed the door close, directing the driver to go to her hotel. _

Brittany found Santana sitting in front of the improvised bar, taking a shot of some white liquid she assumed to be vodka. Taking in a deep breath, Brittany gulped from the bottle of beer Santana's friend Mike had given her, and proceeded towards Santana. She occupied the chair on Santana's left side. Santana gave her a brief look before taking another shot of liquor on her shot glass.

"I thought I was hallucinating just a while ago. You're really here."

"Just for a couple of months."

The atmosphere charged with tension could be felt by anyone who even tried to come near. Even the male bartender felt out of place that he had to move a bit away from the two.

"I don't understand why you're here." Santana's words didn't come as harsh as she intended it to be. Her voice actually sounded softer.

"Kurt asked me to come."

"Do you even want to be here?"

"I guess it's normal to want to see and catch up with your old friends, don't you agree?"

"Oh you mean Quinn, Kurt and Mercedes." Santana scoffed.

"Since you conveniently omitted your name, how was I supposed to classify what you are to me?"

"You and I? Brittany, we can't be JUST friends." She laughed, not bothering to mask the sarcasm in it.

"Santana, we can't-"

"Please, don't flatter yourself. I'm not saying what I want us to be. I'm just telling you what we couldn't be."

"There's a difference?" Brittany quirked an eyebrow.

"Do we really have to go through this bullshit and pretend like we forgot what exactly happened in the past?" Santana threw a sharp look at Brittany, who endured being accusingly stared at by the lawyer, like every pain the brunette went through was her fault. "We haven't been anything to each other in a long time, Brittany. What did you expect, a big hug?"

Santana took another shot of liquor. Brittany watched her from the corner of her eyes.

"You broke my heart." Santana continued.

"I didn't mean to. San, I don't want you to hate me. And I'm sorry. I wish you didn't have to feel that way. I wish I-"

"I wish I could hate you." Santana interrupted her.

Brittany's jaw dropped, trying to find what to say, but couldn't. So Santana continued.

"But I don't. I can't. You didn't ask me to love you. It wasn't your fault. It's just... You know what you shouldn't have done? You shouldn't have given me a reason to believe that there's hope, for you and I. I didn't ask you to return my feelings, but then there's that night, and you made me feel so loved, but... I guess it wasn't real, was it?"

Brittany did not answer.

"It's really nice to see you again, Brittany. I mean that. You can be sure that's real." Santana sighed, then got up from the bar and walked away for the second time from Brittany that night.

The night was young. Santana couldn't count how many congratulations she got, or how many people talked to her. She couldn't even remember the conversations she had. Mike mentioned some old cases they handled where they faced off each other and made fun of each other's mistakes. It was supposed to be a fun night, but it bored her. At least her friends were enjoying.

Santana was standing on the shore again, facing the sea. With hands on her pockets, her mind wandered. Brittany's presence reminded her of the past, of that familiar sting. It had been four years and yet, the blonde's sudden presence made her feel as if the pain was so fresh.

She hated herself for feeling that way.

"You weren't very pleasant tonight. What's wrong with you?"

The not so happy voice broke her thoughts. She didn't have to turn around to find out who it was. It was Kurt, followed by Quinn. Mercedes and Rachel must have gone ahead of them, and Brittany probably left with those two. For a brief moment, she felt guilty for not having time to at least chat with Rachel. Maybe she'd just catch up with her tomorrow.

"What did I do this time?" Santana looked bored again. She knew what Kurt was referring to, but she didn't realize it was such a big deal.

"What's your problem? So she's here, so what? Brittany's my friend, she's Quinn's friend, she's Mercedes's friend, and she's YOUR friend, and you used to be really close. And I believe you said you're over her."

"I am over her."

"That's not how you're acting."

"I'm sorry Kurt, but I really don't know what you mean."

"You were acting so bitter, and you treated her rudely."

"Rudely? Telling her that it's nice to see her is rude? What do you want me to do, sleep with her?" Santana rolled her eyes.

"Isn't THAT actually the problem here?" Quinn butted in. Kurt gave her a strange look, while Quinn seemed surprise that Kurt was clueless. "Kurt, you really can't blame Santana. She was hurt."

"But it's been years. Four years to be exact! That's a long time!"

"Regardless of the time that passed, you know how much Brittany meant to Santana. Don't you see how awkward this is, not just for Santana, but for both of them?" Quinn continued.

"What's making this so awkward? They were friends. Best friends, even." Kurt turned to Santana. "She never really knew how you felt about her in the first place, and you have moved on."

"Oh no... Santana, you didn't tell him? You said you're going to tell him." Quinn looked at Santana in disbelief.

"Tell me what?" Kurt narrowed his eyes at Santana.

"I thought you knew, all these years and you haven't got a clue?" Quinn turned to Kurt in shock.

"Quinn, you didn't have to bring that up." The lawyer glared at Quinn.

"What are you not telling me?" Kurt didn't sound happy for being left in the dark.

"Can we just focus on someone else's life, please? I don't really want to talk about it, I don't think it's proper and I respect Brittany. I really don't think Brittany would want people talking-"

"I don't know about you, Santana, but I'd rather tell Kurt the truth than let him blame you as if you're the asshole here." Quinn turned to Kurt. "Kurt, you know how it's like and what it's like to get hurt. Nobody really wants to feel that way, but there are times that you just can't avoid it. Santana isn't bitter, and as I told you, she was hurt, and it's not for no reason. Let's just say that she and Brittany had more than just a kiss to look back to."

"Quinn!" Santana growled at her blonde friend.

"What?" Kurt frowned.

" .Just. ." Quinn emphasized.

Kurt stood frowning, trying to make sense of what the blonde photographer was saying.

Until the words finally sunk in. Kurt's eyes bulge out of its sockets.

" .GOD." Kurt stared at Santana in disbelief, pointing his accusing fingers at her.

Santana could feel her face burning.

"You... How, I mean, why..." Kurt couldn't finish and couldn't really think of a decent question to ask. All these years and he had no idea of how deep Santana had been involved with Brittany?

"Are you seriously asking me for details?" Santana raised an eyebrow at Kurt.

Kurt realized how he framed his question that he slightly blushed and felt so embarrassed.

"Euww, no. That's just gross."

"It just happened." Santana didn't really want to talk about it, but she had no choice now.

Kurt and Quinn exchanged looks. When he turned his eyes back to his friend, he noticed Santana staring down at the sand as the lawyer kicked at nothing in particular. Santana was obviously embarrassed.

He grinned.

"So how was it?" Kurt looked intently at her, waiting for her to answer.

"Excuse me?" Santana squeaked.

"It's a legitimate question. You've been in love with Brittany for like, forever. To be able to be that close to the love of your life must have been amazing. I mean, did it meet your expectations?" Kurt talked casually about it as if he wasn't intentionally making fun of his friend.

Santana's cheeks were redder than ever.

Quinn shifted her gaze from Kurt to Santana, curious as well. The blonde photographer heard about the bad part of it all, but never the good part. It wasn't like they are asking for exact details.

"I can't believe you're asking me this."

Santana frowned at Kurt and crossed her arms defensively. She felt Quinn's stare at the side of her face, causing her to roll her eyes.

"It was mind-blowing, alright? Perverts." She muttered the last part.

"No wonder you followed her to Paris." Quinn commented.

"Wait, she's the reason why you went there?" All this time, Kurt was made to believe that Santana was there on business, and he even remembered Santana using the word 'deposition' or something. He had no idea what deposition meant but he was quite sure it was some sort of legal term.

"I thought she loved me, okay? So that's the reason why I went to Paris, to talk to her. But then I was wrong. She's not even remotely in love with me and all this time I have been deluding myself that she feels the same way. I thought I stood a chance, because of what we shared that one night. I thought it meant something. I didn't mean to be rude to her, but I don't feel comfortable with her around. It's... She reminds me of how painful it was. But please, don't misinterpret. I am over Brittany. I really am."

"Shoot." Kurt scratched his head.

"What?"

"Remember you invited me to your trip to Veracruz with you next week, to see your relatives?"

"Yeah?" Santana suspiciously eyed Kurt.

"Well, Brittany had been gone for a long time, so I kind of... invited her and Rachel to come along." Kurt wanted to disappear from where he was standing.

"Kind of?" Santana slightly raised her voice.

"I'm not taking it back. She already said yes." Kurt knew Santana was going to ask him just that. And he wasn't particularly excited to do that, so, before Santana could force him to take the invitation back, Kurt had turned his back on them and ran away, intent on finding that cute guy named Blaine he met a while ago.

Santana helplessly turned to Quinn.

"Britt said yes? Why would she say yes?" Santana sighed.

"Maybe she'd never been to Mexico and found it to be an interesting place to visit, at least while she's here." Quinn shrugged.

Santana blew the stray hair away from her face. Quinn watched her for a bit before speaking again.

"I know it's kind of a sticky situation and obviously, you're not prepared for it. She may have hurt you unintentionally, but... that's not a reason for you to hate her for the rest of your life."

"I don't hate her, I already told her that."

"To be honest, I'm not particularly fond of Brittany at the moment, especially after she broke your heart. But Kurt's got a point. It's been so long."

"So what now?"

"Deal with it. She's not going to be here very long anyway. Besides, you have moved on... Right?"


	3. Veracruz

**CHAPTER 3 VERACRUZ**

Since picking up Brittany at her parent's house, Kurt noticed how awfully quiet Santana had been. They were on their way to the airport and the lawyer was driving her red Ford Mustang, with Kurt in the front seat and Brittany behind them. Quinn and her daughter Beth, along with Rachel, would be leaving the following day, having booked a different flight because of Rachel's schedule.

Santana didn't get why Quinn decided to wait for Rachel, but didn't bother thinking more about it.

"Strange ride." Kurt said in a whisper after letting out an exaggerated sigh. Santana briefly threw him a look, while Brittany turned her head to Kurt's direction, both looking relieved that someone broke that eerie silence.

"You two have some serious issues to deal with." Kurt continued, this time for both of his friends to hear.

"What?" Santana and Brittany replied in unison. Santana looked up at the rear view mirror, and looked away fast after catching Brittany's eyes, the latter reacting the same way.

"Uh, hello?" Kurt raised an eyebrow, lifting his hands and motioning to his surroundings, which was limited to the space of the Mustang. When neither Santana nor Brittany said anything in response, Kurt continued stating the obvious. "Not the most comfortable place right now, if you'll ask me. You're both so tensed." Kurt sighed as he shook his head.

Santana and Brittany unintentionally caught each other's eyes in the rear view mirror for the second time, and both were fast to turn somewhere else.

"Still not going to start talking, huh?" Kurt shifted glances between Brittany and Santana.

Santana merely shrugged, while Brittany focused her attention to the moving scenery on her right, making Kurt's eyes roll.

Another few minutes and Kurt was getting fed up of his worst ride ever.

"Pull over." Kurt did not request, but ordered.

"Why?" Santana frowned.

"Just pull over. I need to pee." Kurt glowered at Santana, who obliged. She steered her car to a gas station and as soon as she was able to park, Kurt opened the door on his right, but before running to the nearest bathroom, turned to Santana for another remark. "And maybe find someone who can take me out of my boredom." Kurt scowled at Santana before rushing towards the nearest bathroom.

Brittany, again, caught the funny reaction on Santana's face, but managed to hide her amusement. The two were left sitting awkwardly inside the lawyer's SUV. The tension was getting to Brittany.

"Uh, I need to go to the bathroom too." Without waiting for Santana's response, Brittany got off the car. Santana unconsciously watched Brittany as the dancer walked away, and upon realizing what she had been doing, snapped herself out of it and played with whatever she could focus on in the dashboard.

Kurt was taking too long, and Santana's patience was running out. She decided to get off the SUV herself and find something to drink at the convenience store. As she scanned the different kinds of beverages inside, she picked up a cold can of Mountain Dew and paid for it. She found Kurt occupying a seat in one of the tables outside, and joined him.

"Hungry?" Santana asked.

"I'm fine. You should ask Brittany." Kurt slightly teased.

"Let's eat something before we board. I'm not particularly fond of airplane food." Santana casually replied.

"Finally, a full sentence from you." Kurt laughed. Santana feigned annoyance and glared at her friend. She opened her can of Mountain Dew and sipped from it.

"Stop acting like a child, Kurt."

"Am I getting to you?"

"It's only now that you noticed?" Santana joked.

"You're not being your normal self today."

"What are you talking about?"

"Tensed, and so quiet..." Kurt trailed off. "Are you ever going to talk about it with me? Ever?"

Santana turned to get a brief look of her friend who was staring at her intently. Kurt seemed to examine the brunette's face for a while before continuing.

"She really hurt you, didn't she?" He asked, but did not get any answer. Santana busied herself by looking at her feet. Kurt nudged her to get back Santana's attention. "I'm such a prick, aren't I?" Kurt joked, eliciting a small smile from Santana. The lawyer spaced out for a while, apparently lost in her thoughts.

"It's not something I want to look back to every now and then, Kurt."

"Okay." Kurt understood, dropping the topic. Silently he blamed himself for being too nosy.

"Brittany took my heart, then she kicked it, and stomped on it."

Santana surprised Kurt when she actually gave an answer.

"There's no exact words, but that's the closest description to how I felt." Santana then turned away, now staring at the can of drink in her hand.

"You loved her that much?" Kurt asked. Santana turned her gaze back to Kurt.

"Why else would I follow her to Paris? I was ready to leave everything behind. I guess it wasn't enough."

Santana then fell silent. Kurt watched her for a bit.

"But now you have Kate, so-"

"Hey..." Brittany interrupted Kurt, who now looked a bit surprised that Brittany was standing just behind his seat and wondered whether she had been there longer than she should.

Santana silently wished that Brittany did not hear anything.

"So, let's go?" Brittany smiled at both of them. It seemed like she heard nothing, to Santana's relief.

"I think we should. We don't want to be late for our flight." Kurt got up from his seat and Santana followed suit. The three of them headed back to the direction of Santana's car. "Are you not going to buy anything?" He asked the blonde.

"I'm fine." Brittany replied. "Where's Mercedes?" Brittany had been wondering why the doctor wouldn't be coming with them.

"Mercedes have an appointment or something." Kurt smiled back.

Santana reached for her keys from her left hand pocket and pushed the unlock button. Just as the lock snapped open, a phone started ringing. The designer reached for his phone while Brittany and Santana resumed their previous seats in the car.

"Hello." Kurt cheerfully greeted the person on the other line. He paused listening, his face forming a not very pleasant expression, as Santana observed from the driver's side. Kurt was standing on the side of the front seat, holding the door open. He listened to the person talking on the other end of the line, and replied, apparently annoyed.

Santana and Brittany listened intently. They couldn't hear the words exchanged exactly, but Santana had a hunch. As the person Kurt was talking to hung up on him, he pulled the cellphone away from his ear and looked at the LCD in disbelief. Both Santana and Brittany were looking expectantly at him, waiting for him to say something.

"I have to go." Kurt turned apologetically at Santana and then to Brittany.

"What? No." Santana strongly objected.

"Something serious happened and I need to get back to work or my hard work for my fashion show next week goes to shreds. The hazards of being a struggling designer with high ambitions. I really have to go. Sorry guys." Kurt started gathering up his things.

"Don't you have an army of staff who can do that? Can't they deal with it?" Santana really wanted to stop her friend from leaving. Anything to avoid being alone with Brittany.

"Santana, this is a big deal. I can't go to Veracruz without worrying about not having dresses to showcase for the show next week. I'll just drive myself crazy and in turn, I'll drive you crazy and I don't really want to do that. I have staff members as stupid as the three stooges, I'm not about to risk it. Call me later when you get there."

"But my relatives are expecting you." Santana said.

They weren't.

"Don't worry, they'll love Brittany. You guys go on without me. I'll just call a cab." Kurt got out with his things and walked away without turning back, leaving Santana alone with Brittany.

Even more awkward.

If these two were awfully quiet when Kurt was still with them just a few minutes ago, now that they were left alone, they never said a word. Well except for the very short conversation they had with Santana asking Brittany to move to the front seat, and a few words as they boarded the plane to Veracruz, Mexico.

Strange ride, in Kurt's words, was understatement.

But it was about to get interesting.

"Those were strong words." Brittany said as their landing was announced. Santana turned her head as Brittany spoke, looking rather confused. She couldn't remember saying anything strong, or anything at all to Brittany for that matter. For a lawyer who talks too much, this was one of the few times that she had kept her mouth shut.

"What?" Still not much words from Santana.

"I took your heart, kicked it and stomped on it?" Brittany finally turned her head towards Santana, who looked surprised. She had suspicions that Brittany had heard her conversation with Kurt back at the convenience store.

Well, this wasn't very convenient, was it? And surely, Brittany didn't look happy.

"Sorry you had to hear that." That was the best Santana could come up so far. What else was there to say?

Brittany stared at her in silence. But Santana couldn't read her. She still couldn't. It felt like Brittany was gauging her, or maybe studying her? Looking for any trace of sincerity in her eyes? Wow, this was embarrassing.

"Is that how you felt?" Brittany continued asking. Santana could think of so many other topics to talk about, why did Brittany have to open this particular can of worms?

"Why are you asking now?" Santana could feel the airplane landing in the runway. She could hear the flight attendant's voice giving out instructions, but Santana could barely focus.

"I need to know." Brittany wasn't focusing either.

"What for? What's the point of talking about it?" She wished Brittany would just give it a rest. This wasn't the best place or time to talk about it.

"It would really help me feel less guilty, that's what." Brittany was not very happy at Santana's lack of concern.

Santana could be such a hard head sometimes.

"I keep saying I'm sorry, but you wouldn't stop blaming me."

"I'm not blaming you... I never blamed you."

"Then why do I feel otherwise?"

"Brittany, whatever you or I say now wouldn't change anything that happened. It took quite a while before I was able to convince myself that I could live without you. So forgive me if it's a little strange for me to have you around so suddenly after so long. I'm sorry, I know I'm being difficult, I'm trying not to, it's just... It wasn't easy for me to move on and get over those feelings that I had for you."

"I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry. I live with that guilt everyday. But as much as I want to, there's really nothing that I could do to take it all back. I never meant to make you feel like I shattered your heart. When you gave it to me, I thought that... I didn't deserve it. So I... I thought it was better to give it back to you."

Santana held Brittany's stare.

"That's actually the worst and the most painful part..."

And Santana's comment definitely hit home. Brittany could feel a lump in her throat. It took a while before she was able to speak again.

"You keep talking about the pain I caused you, about how hard it had been for you, but have you ever thought that maybe it wasn't easy for me either? What did you think, that I had a smile on my face when I was watching you walk away?"

They landed. Santana did not answer. Instead, she got up from her aisle seat just like the other passengers did, and headed to the exit. Brittany followed her, looking dejected. She could barely return a smile for the female flight attendant's courtesy, who wished her a pleasant day in Veracruz. Both of them were now walking out of the airport, with Santana walking ahead of her.

"Did it ever cross your mind that maybe you weren't the only one hurting?" Brittany asked, loud enough to reach Santana's ears. The lawyer stopped walking, so did Brittany. There was an internal debate going on inside Santana's head, whether to turn around or not. Seeing Brittany had reminded her of that familiar pain; the pain that took so long for her to forget.

Santana slowly turned around, and as she did, her eyes met Brittany's again. Her mind was against it; it was something she didn't want to deal with at the moment, and the truth was she couldn't find any reason why she had to. However, for some unknown reason, she faced her, and for a moment, she stared back at those sad blue eyes.

"Were you?" Santana challenged Brittany to answer as she stared at the blonde, waiting for a response.

Brittany held her stare; her lips parting as if to say something, but no words came out. The dancer was a bit surprised at the intensity reflected in Santana's eyes.

She briefly wondered whether she was still hurting Santana just by being here.

"I-"

"Santana!"

Mychal Lopez was running towards them with that big playful grin on his face. Santana's younger and only brother, had a set of dimples that was almost identical as Santana's, it was only now that Brittany noticed. Brittany returned his smile, and Santana didn't even seem to care. She actually looked annoyed for being interrupted.

"Hey sis." Mychal gave his sister a hug.

"Impeccable timing brother, as always." Santana said with obvious sarcasm.

Mychal turned confusedly at her, but Santana feigned cheer, then ignored him and walked ahead. He then turned a questioning look at Brittany.

"What's wrong with her?"

Instead of getting a real answer, Mychal got a mere shrug from Brittany. Brittany sighed and watched Santana's back as the lawyer headed for the exit. Mychal helped Brittany carry her luggage, and followed suit.

"Probably just PMS. Just ignore her. Good to see you back."

"Thanks." Brittany smiled at him, slightly feeling relieved that she wouldn't be spending the next hours alone with Santana. That didn't go well.

"Where's Kurt? I thought he's coming with you." Mychal remembered.

"Something came up at work."

"Not the best time to miss a great day at the beach. You'd love it, I swear." Mychal seemed excited, which was contrary to what Brittany was currently feeling.

"I'm sure I would." Brittany let out another deep sigh, which did not escape Mychal this time. A slight contort formed in his forehead, wondering why his sister was grouchy, and Brittany, in low spirit.

The whole ride to the beach property owned by Santana's aunt and uncle, the Torres family, was awkward; even more awkward than before. Mychal who was driving the red Mercedez Benz belonging also to their Uncle Abran, could feel the tension. Neither of his passengers was speaking to each other. He didn't dare ask. He knew his sister's temper too well, and knew better than to pry about it. Santana was in the front seat with him, while Brittany sat quietly at the back. Upon arriving at the beach house, Mychal never felt more relieved. He climbed out of the driver's seat and helped Brittany with her luggage again, while Santana didn't seem to need help. The lawyer carried her own luggage into the house without so much as a look thrown at Brittany's direction.

Mychal and Brittany exchanged looks.

"She can be such a head case sometimes." Mychal joked, eliciting a smile from Brittany. He so wasn't liking his sister's attitude right now.

"Maybe she's just tired." Brittany lied to cover up the tension.

"Ready?" Mychal grinned at her and proceeded to changing the topic.

"For what?" Brittany looked in confusion.

"For this." Mychal stepped away from Brittany to give her a view of what he was talking about.

Paradise on earth.

It was a jaw-dropping scenery that Brittany never expected to see. Sure, she did expect a gorgeous beach. But this beach she was currently in was something you'd think you'd only see in exotic Europe; quiet sky blue water, fine white sand, palm trees.

"Wow…"

"I knew you'd say that." Mychal led her into the stairs to the beach house. For a while, Brittany forgot about the confrontation she just had with Santana. They stopped at a door, and Mychal pulled it open without knocking.

The house was even more breathtaking. All made up of local materials, giving it a homey feel; cozy and relaxing.

She liked the feeling of being there. It was strange that she felt like she just found home.

"You must be Brittany." The male voice made her turn left, and she found a tall, clean-cut young man, in his early twenties, smiling at her.

"Yeah, that's me." Brittany smiled back.

"Santana's my cousin. I'm Mateo." He shook Brittany's hand.

Brittany's eyes lit up in recognition.

"I know you. You're the one with the US Navy." Brittany felt somehow proud that she remembered that one little detail that Santana might have mentioned during one of their conversations quite a long time ago.

"I'm impressed." Mateo grinned and he exchanged looks with his cousin Mychal. Mychal returned a grin. Mateo stepped aside to reveal a group of eager looking elders, only one of whom Brittany had met before. The other elders were also smiling at her.

Too much smiling though, Brittany thought.

"Hello Brittany." The elderly woman, in her sixties, embraced Brittany. Brittany returned a genuine smile. It was Santana's mother. It had been a long time since they last saw each other. Since the death of Santana's father, her mother had been living in Veracruz and it was only when her children visits that the three of them see each other.

"Hi Aunt Beatriz. It's good to see you again."

"I was wondering if I we're ever going to." Aunt Beatriz pulled back.

"You were?" Brittany looked confused.

"Santana haven't mentioned you for quite sometime. I wondered if Paris pulled you apart. I'm glad that it didn't. By the way, this is my younger sister, Ria. She owns this beach property with her husband, Abran." Aunt Beatriz introduced the Torres's, who were being very pleasant towards her, unlike some lawyer that she knew. And Brittany began to wonder where the hell Santana had gone.

"Hi." Brittany smiled at them.

"You have to forgive Santana. Her etiquette still baffles me. She couldn't even properly introduce us. You can call me Auntie Ria." Auntie Ria smiled at her.

"I guess that's part of her charms." Brittany joked, but regretted it too soon. There was something weird about the smiles that she was getting from Santana's family.

"Mateo, why don't you bring Brittany's luggage up to Santana's room?" Uncle Abran told his youngest son, who obliged without questions.

_Santana's room?_

"Wait, I'm-" Brittany's protests were interrupted when Auntie Ria grabbed her hand and pulled her out front, to a sumptuous lunch table at the shore.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Santana lay quietly on top of the bed, flat shoes still on. Her hands were behind her head, and she was staring blankly at the ceiling. She could feel the sound of the warm wind blowing outside. Her stomach growled, but despite her hunger, she didn't feel like going down.

There were knocks on the door.

"It's open." Santana said without even turning her head. She heard footsteps of somebody walking in, and the sound of a thud on the floor. Still, no reaction from Santana.

"I don't even get a smile?" A male voice joked, and Santana jolted at the voice of the person she hadn't seen for a really long time.

"Oh my God, Mateo! When did you get back?!" Santana jumped out of bed and ran towards her cousin, giving him a hug.

"Is that real excitement or are you faking it? You women are so good at faking so many things." An evil smile plastered across Mateo's face.

"Ha-ha." Santana playfully slapped his cousin on his right arm. "Why didn't anyone tell me you're coming home?"

"Well, everyone knows how demanding you are. I guess everyone assumed if you knew, you wouldn't stop bugging me about that new iPad." Mateo laughed.

"So, where's my iPad?" Santana narrowed her eyes on her cousin.

Mateo tried to look serious for a moment. He stared back at Santana who watched him intently.

And then he gave in.

"It's in your drawer." Mateo motioned to the bedside drawer. Santana's eyes widened and she started jumping up and down like a kid. Mateo stood amused, because that rarely happens. Santana gave Mateo another hug but before she could check out the drawer and find out whether Mateo did get her that iPad, she finally noticed what caused the thud on the floor; a somewhat familiar traveling bag.

"Don't you have a room of your own?" Santana apparently assumed it was Mateo's traveling bag.

Mateo shook his head in disbelief.

"Chivalry must be really dead. Lover's quarrel?" Mateo didn't really answer the question as he turned to leave the room.

"What are you talking about?"

"You could have at least carried her luggage upstairs, no matter how much you two are fighting at the moment." Mateo replied as he turned around to face her again.

"Who am I supposed to be fighting with, and why would I carry someone else's luggage?" Santana sounded irritated.

"Because, being a gentlewoman could surely help you get some action tonight, which you probably wouldn't get just by being cute." Mateo winked at her. "Make-up sex is the best." The evil grin on his face widened.

Santana looked at him agape, finally realizing what Mateo had been pointing out. Mateo did not see Santana's rarely blushing face as his back was already turned on her, and he was walking slowly towards the stairs.

"Wh-" Santana tried to find the right words but there wasn't really any perfect way to react.

"By the way, the family loves Brittany."

"No you don't. You can't love her. Why would you love her?" Santana shouted after Mateo.

"See you outside. Lunch is ready." Mateo laughed and continued walking at the hallway, away from Santana's door.

Santana hated the teasing. She was pretty sure the rest of the family wasn't as stupid as Mateo.

Or so she thought.

Her eyes fell upon the sight of Brittany's traveling bag.

_You have got to be kidding me. _

As Santana grudgingly followed Mateo out to the shore for lunch, she found herself in for another surprise.

At the couch in the living room downstairs, there sits-

"Maya?" Santana walked towards Maya, Mateo's older sister, and gave her a hug.

"Hi cuz." Maya didn't seem surprised. She got up from her seat to meet Santana's embrace.

"This is a really big surprise. Nobody told me everyone's coming."

"Well, we're even." Maya grinned, but Santana didn't really get what the grin was for. "Besides, it's my parent's 30th wedding anniversary coming soon. I want to get hands on with the plans."

"Typically you." Santana looked around. "Isn't it ironic that the ones I'm expecting to see aren't here, while you and Mateo are here?" Santana was referring to their other cousins, aunts and uncles, who probably would be arriving tomorrow.

"Come on, let's get lunch." Maya and Santana finally joined the rest of the family outside.

At the lunch table set up at the shore, under the shade of beautiful palm trees, Santana found the only empty seat to be beside Brittany. She pulled her chair, and when already settled, she leaned towards the dancer.

"I hope you don't mind sharing a room." Santana whispered in Brittany's ear. There was really no other choice. There were only six rooms in the house, the rest being already occupied. She began helping herself with food, most of which were her favorites.

"We need to talk." Brittany whispered back, not really referring to the bedroom situation but to something else.

Santana literally jumped at the feeling of Brittany's hot breath in her ear, which sent goosebumps all over her. She could feel the hairs on the back of her neck standing on its end as memories of that night before Brittany's flight to Paris ran through her brain.

The brunette had to force herself out of the haze she found herself in upon hearing her brother and Mateo snickering on one side of the table. They were giving her funny looks so she glared at them in return. She hoped Brittany didn't see her blushing face. Before Santana could give the blonde a reply, however, her mother's voice caught their attention.

"Santana, aren't you even going to properly introduce Brittany?" Santana's mother asked.

"What?" Santana frowned.

"I think she deserves a proper introduction." Her mom looked at her sternly.

"Proper? What exactly is proper? Everybody knows her already. _You_ know her."

"You're embarrassing Brittany." Her mother was castigating now. Santana caught Mychal and her cousins snickering again on the side and she had to control the urge to smack them with her chair.

"Oh I'm fine. I'm feeling great. Don't worry about me." Brittany actually and truly felt embarrassed. Why the spotlight had to be on her, she wanted to disappear on the sand she's stepping on. Feeling suddenly thirsty, she grabbed her glass of water and almost emptied it.

"See? She's fine." Santana said dismissively.

"So, when and where did you meet?" Maya asked with too much interest.

"Why in the world do you have to know that?" Santana growled at her.

"There's nothing wrong with curiosity." Maya stared amused at Santana.

"We met at a bookshop." Brittany answered, and Santana wished they would just stop with their twenty questions.

"Interesting." Maya remarked. She remained staring at her cousin, but this time, her eyes were narrowed with suspicion.

Santana rolled her eyes.

"We reached for the same book at this one little bookshop during my Stanford days." Santana elaborated.

"That's kind of a 'movie cliché'."

"Not a 'movie cliché'. That's what happened." Santana said in a dismissive tone.

"So, what, you just jumped in for the kill?" Maya teased.

"What?" The lawyer glared at her cousin.

"Did you immediately ask for her name?"

"Are you serious?" Santana wasn't really giving Brittany the chance to answer.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Maya replied with a sneer at Santana.

"You ask too many questions."

"It's a free country."

"I don't have to answer if I don't want to. That's what freedom is." Santana growled.

"Actually, we asked for each other's name. I thought it was interesting that we wanted the same book. There was only one copy left and she let me have it, so we decided to exchange numbers so I could give the book to her when I'm done. After that, we started bonding over coffee, and, we became good friends, I guess." Brittany was starting to wonder whether Santana's grouchiness was still caused by their confrontation back at the plane.

"Why is she so grumpy?" Maya asked Brittany while pointing at her cousin.

"Uh…" Brittany had no idea how to answer that.

"I'm not grumpy." Santana defended herself as she glared at Maya.

"Maybe it's her time of the month." Mateo guessed and joined in the prodding mission.

"It's everyday of the month for her." Mychal joked but got a glare from his sister as well.

"Well, is it her time of the month?" Maya turned to ask Brittany again, who just looked shocked being asked.

"No, Brittany doesn't know if it's my time of the month. Why are you asking her? Stop asking her stupid questions." Santana was now looking so red, her cousins and brother, even her mother, aunt and uncle, were giggling.

"You're really defensive." Mychal informed her.

"I'm not defensive. Why would I be defensive?" Santana's voice was indeed a pitch higher. Even Brittany was trying her best to hide her amusement.

"I missed picking on you, cousin." Maya winked at her.

"Ah, why wouldn't you grow up?" Santana rolled her eyes.

"So how long have you known each other?" Santana's cousin Mateo asked. It was a question Santana never expected, she didn't understand why they had to ask, but answered it anyway.

"Ten years, more or less." Santana picked up her spoon and fork and helped herself with lunch.

Brittany kept getting pleasant smiles from each of Santana's family members, that their graciousness was starting to make her feel uncomfortable. It's not the graciousness that was making her feel that way, it was the reason behind that graciousness that she kind of figured out. That was what she wanted to talk to Santana about, but Santana misunderstood to be about bedroom arrangement.

"Wow." Mateo grinned. The comment confused Santana.

"That's a long time. I'm guessing that you know each other so well by now." Auntie Ria finally joined in the conversation.

Brittany looked flustered and Santana could feel her cheeks burning as hell, with similar thoughts in their minds. If only Auntie Ria knew how well.

"My cousin's opinionated and most of the time whiny. How could you tolerate her?" Maya asked without caring that Santana was shooting daggers at her direction.

"Maya, what did I ever do to you?" Santana sighed. On the other hand, Brittany seemed amused at the bullying going on.

"Well, Santana's always destined to become a lawyer, so the opinionated part is something I could put up with. The whining part, however, I haven't seen so much before." Brittany smiled. Santana caught a glimpse of that smile and for a while, her eyes lingered.

"Finally, someone on my team." A small smile crossed Santana's face. Brittany was her unexpected ally.

Mychal and their mother had stopped joining in the prodding and watched their cousins do the dirty work instead.

"Mom said you're a dancer. That's fascinating." Mateo, Auntie Ria's youngest son, told Brittany.

"Thank you." Brittany smiled at him. Santana was thankful for the change of topic.

"She had been working in France." Mychal told his cousins.

"Really? I want to go there for vacation next year. Which place do you recommend?" Maya looked excited.

"Paris, of course. It's the place that I fell in love with. But I suggest that you take as much time as you can to go around the country. You won't regret it." Brittany said gracefully.

"But isn't it hard?" Maya asked again.

"What is?" Brittany looked unsure.

"That you're away. I mean, how often do you get to talk to Santana? Do you even get to see each other?" Maya looked concerned as she paid a brief look at her hungry cousin's direction. Santana suddenly stopped crunching the food in her mouth and turned to look at Maya.

It wasn't the first question that caught Brittany off-guard.

"Where are your questions coming from?" Santana growled at Maya.

"Hey, we're just getting to know Brittany." Maya growled back. "I hope she knows what she's getting into. Does she even know you have this crazy fear of spiders? You're bigger than them!"

"I had the opportunity to witness that, actually." Brittany grinned.

"Oh come on." Santana turned to Brittany in disbelief.

"You don't want me to tell them?" Brittany asked Santana but got booed by the lawyer's cousins. Brittany couldn't do anything but tell the story.

Santana buried her face in her hands as her cousins laughed at the story of her falling down in a long flight of stairs at Brittany's parent's house just because of a fake spider scare. Even the elders were laughing. Brittany's youngest sister Hallie who was 10 years old then, one April Fool's Day, threw that fake spider at Santana. She cursed under her breath, swearing that she'd get back at Maya for opening this up.

Santana lifted her head up, and watched as her family members kept laughing, now holding their stomachs because they just wouldn't stop laughing at her expense. Brittany was also laughing. And for a while, Santana's eyes were transfixed again at the only blonde in the lunch table, amazed that she hadn't seen or heard that laugh for quite some time now.

"Okay, that's enough. Fun's over. New topic please." Santana said.

"Party pooper." Maya joked.

"Some people are actually eating here, so can we just stop talking about ugly, disgusting, creepy-crawlers?" Santana pleaded.

"It was funny." Mychal still had a smile on his face.

"And you obviously enjoyed it. Stop making fun of me." Santana whined.

"Settle down, your cousin has had enough bullying for today." Auntie Ria castigated Santana's cousins, whose grins just grew wider. Auntie Ria lifted her water glass. "Brittany, it is really nice to meet you." Auntie Ria added.

"I have to say the same thing. You have been very pleasant since I arrived. I'm very grateful." Brittany smiled.

"Has Santana proposed?" Auntie Ria asked, making Santana choke in her own glass of water.

Brittany was fast in rubbing her back. Mychal quickly handed his sister a table napkin.

Brittany was too busy making sure that Santana didn't die of choking and Santana was having a hard time to speak at the moment, so the answer to Auntie Ria's question took a while.

"I'm just asking." Auntie Ria turned her eyes at Santana's mother, who was now looking intently at Santana.

"You two are planning on getting married, aren't you?" Santana's mother was looking expectantly at both Brittany and Santana. Obviously, she hadn't heard about Kate.

They had come a long way since Santana came out to them. Her mother, in trying to understand her, had become more liberal somehow. Santana's 'fondness' of Brittany never escaped her. Even if her daughter never talked about how she really felt about Brittany, she knew the blonde was special to Santana. If Santana would ever decide to get married, turning it into reality wouldn't be impossible anymore.

Santana wanted to answer desperately, but she was still having a hard time making her voice box work after choking on her water.

"Auntie Beatriz, Santana's a wuss. She's probably squirming in her seat right now just thinking about asking Brittany's hand for marriage." Mateo said, looking smug.

"I'm not a-" Santana glared at Mateo as she squeaked.

"So what are you waiting for?" Maya butted in.

Santana cleared her throat, loudly, then with threw everyone of her family member a death glare.

"No one is getting married. Brittany and I are not even dating. Is that what you've been thinking?" Santana said in exasperation.

"Yeah right." Maya mocked her. Santana glared at her.

"What? You aren't?" Auntie Ria looked at them in shock. Brittany wanted to disappear in her seat.

"Where did you even get that idea?" Santana asked no one in particular.

"You brought her here." Mateo admitted.

"So? I brought Mercedes and Quinn with me before, but you never thought of any of them as my girlfriend."

"Well, they are your friends." Auntie Ria defended herself. Uncle Abran sat amused.

"Like the way I'm friends with Brittany." Santana emphasized the 'friends' part.

"Oh, don't blame us if we thought otherwise. You were looking at her with that googly eyes just a while ago." Auntie Ria did see the way Santana looked at Brittany when the dancer was laughing.

"No I wasn't." Santana had to spend the night defending herself and telling everyone that she and Brittany were just friends. It was such a feat, as her family members were not easy to convince.

While cleaning up, Santana's cousin Maya cornered her in the kitchen.

"Just friends, huh?" Maya remarked with traces of doubt to Santana. Santana had just finished cleaning up the dishes.

"What?" Santana and Maya were standing in front of the sink.

"I have this feeling that you two aren't just friends." Maya pointedly replied.

"That's just your wild imagination, Maya." Santana said dismissively.

"Is it?" Maya prodded, but didn't get an answer from Santana. "Are you telling me you were never attracted to Brittany?" Maya narrowed her eyes at her cousin.

"What?" Santana's voice was a pitch higher, as the line of questioning was starting to get her anxious.

"Hypocrisy aside. She's beautiful." Maya said as a matter of fact.

"Why would you think that?"

"Duh, I'm not blind." Maya rolled her eyes.

"No, I meant, why would you think that I'm attracted to her?"

"You weren't listening to me, and you're being defensive again. I'm not asking you if you are attracted to her now, I'm asking you if you were EVER attracted to her. Big difference."

"You can really be a pain in the ass, you know."

"Why are you dodging the question? You can answer with a simple yes or no. What's so hard about that? Never had a crush on her, never liked her?"

"I like everyone." Santana made sure not to look directly in her cousin's eyes. Direct eye contact was something she wasn't very good at. Not when she was the one on cross examination.

"Okay, that's a lie. You don't like most people. Ever dated her?" Maya continued pestering her cousin.

"She's my friend."

"Kissed her?"

Santana felt herself blushing.

"What is so unbelievable about me not dating her? We're just friends. She dates men, I date women. And right now, I'm dating one particular woman, and her name is not Brittany."

"Wrong answer, Santana." Maya grinned.

"Are you psychoanalyzing me again?"

"I'm quite competent, you know." Maya was, after all, a licensed clinical psychologist.

"Why do I have to explain myself?" Santana crossed her arms.

"Because the truth is, no matter what you say, no one would believe you. No one wants to. Don't you see? Everybody loves Brittany."

"Love her? You barely know her, and I'm really not dating her."

"Well, you should be. I doubt the family would prefer anyone else for you. You should have thought better and brought Kate over before Brittany. Now it would be a very tough job for your girlfriend to impress them. Everybody already thinks that your 'friend', Brittany, is the most amazing future in-law in the world." Maya said before she turned around and left the kitchen.

Santana could do nothing but roll her eyes.

The night wore on. Eventually, everybody got tired of insisting that Santana was just hiding her relationship with the beautiful blonde. Mateo and Mychal had gone down town for a night of bar hopping, while Maya decided to get to bed early. Santana and Brittany also went to bed. The bed that they had to share as there was no more available room in the house.

The two lay quietly side by side, almost at the edge of both sides of the bed. Though they were a bit comfortable with each other during dinner, they were back to the awkward stage as the lights were turned off, and they were inches away from each other. Well, the last time they were in the same bed, none of them was wearing any clothes, so…

"Sorry I told them that April Fool's Day story." Brittany broke their silence, knowing Santana was still awake.

"It's okay. Hallie really did a number on me, didn't she?" Santana was still laughing at that memory of her. Embarrassing, but definitely funny. "How is she?"

"She's a teenager now."

In the dark, Santana didn't see when Brittany slightly turned her head towards her direction.

"It's quite surprising that you're the one being bullied by your cousins instead of you bullying them."

"I'm different outside the court room."

They fell in a short silence before Brittany spoke again.

"How did you tell them?" Brittany asked.

"About what?"

"About… you. The real you." Brittany carefully said.

Santana paused in contemplation.

"Was it hard?" Brittany added.

"It's been a struggle. But one day, I just told them, and they accepted it. They accepted me without conditions. At the beginning, there was some hurtful words said, opinions exchanged but… what's a family without drama, right? And they love me, so, they have no choice."

"You're lucky."

"I am."

"And Kate?"

There was a short pause on Santana's part.

"What about Kate?"

"You told them you're dating Kate. Is there really a Kate or did you just want them to shut up?" Brittany asked. She wasn't sure why she wanted to know. She didn't even know whether she wanted to hear the answer or not. But the question had been bugging her since she'd first heard that name from Kurt back at the convenience store before Kurt deserted them for work.

She just had to ask.

"Kate is my... girlfriend."

"Oh."

Hearing that confirmation, Brittany had no idea what to say next. All she knew and felt was that twisting in her stomach.

"Why are you being so patient with me? When Kurt left, why didn't you go with him?" Santana asked. She knew that she had been a pain in the ass this whole ride to Veracruz, but still, Brittany managed to keep up with her temper.

"I wanted to fix this."

"Fix what?"

"I know how I affected your life, how I messed it up somehow. This is important to me Santana. Whether you believe it or not, _you_ are important to me."

Brittany's last words for the night lingered in Santana's ears. It sounded so genuine, so believable. No traces of pretension, whatsoever. It wasn't the first time that the dancer told her how important she was. She believed it the first time, too. And she wished she never did. Now she was tempted to believe Brittany's words again. But something was stopping her.

_Maybe you can't. Maybe there's nothing left to fix. _

Minutes passed, and then hours. Santana had barely moved in bed. She couldn't sleep. Each of her senses was wide awake. From their bed, she could hear the sound of the waves hitting the shore. Her head was already aching for having been awake in the past twenty hours. She turned, and in the dark bedroom only lighted by the moonlight seeping through the curtained window on her side, she could see Brittany's back turned on her. The Latina's gaze settled on blonde hair; for a while, she unconsciously stared. Remembering how soft those blonde curls were, how it felt against the palm of her hand.

Realizing what she'd been doing, she shook the memories out of her head.

Santana let out a deep sigh.

How could Brittany sleep so comfortably in the same bed with her, while she couldn't? It wasn't fair. Giving Brittany one last look, Santana got up from the bed, and headed for the door. When she reached the kitchen, she only wanted one thing: the bottle of Johnny Walker green label that Mateo had brought from the States. Without hesitation, Santana opened it, poured herself half a glass, and drank it straight. It burned her throat, but she liked how it made her feel. She poured herself another half a glass, and brought it, along with the bottle to the living room, where Santana sat on the couch, and a few minutes and too much sip later, she fell asleep.

Contrary to Santana's beliefs, Brittany couldn't sleep either. She had her eyes closed, but she was very awake. She felt when Santana moved from the bed, and actually watched her leave the room. Brittany waited and waited, but Santana never came back. Upon her curious, careful search, she found her roommate already sleeping like a log in the living room couch, stinking of alcohol.

Brittany woke up early the next morning. Rather, she never really slept. When she went looking for coffee, she found Mychal already cooking breakfast. It seemed like no one else was awake in the house except the two of them. She didn't even have to ask for coffee as Mychal handed her a hot cup, and a glass of water. Gladly, she accepted it, and pulled a chair.

"Thanks. This is really good." Brittany said after having her first sip.

"No problem." Mychal replied without facing Brittany. He was busy making pancakes.

"Need help with that?"

"Nope. Just sit there and relax."

"Wow, I feel special." Brittany smiled.

It was a very cold morning, and the coffee was perfectly doing its job for Brittany. Brittany seemed to be lost in thoughts, and Mychal broke her reverie by starting a conversation.

"So, how's Paris?"

"Picturesque."

"Do you like it there?"

"It's professionally fulfilling."

"Not what I'm asking." He smiled knowingly.

"Mychal, it's different. You could have a good life anywhere you want, but sometimes, you just can't help but look back."

"Santana said you weren't coming back."

"I wasn't. Paris is lovely. The first time I saw it in pictures, I fell in love with that city. You know, sometimes, you just can't help but wonder what's been happening in the lives of the people that you love and left. You wish you could always be a part of it, but you know you can't. But if you could be there for them, wouldn't you grab that chance?"

"It wouldn't be easy to resist. So, how long will you be staying?"

"I probably wouldn't be able to come back in a long time, so, I might be staying in four, may be five months."

"Hey, Santana was there some years ago. Did you two meet up?"

It was a thought Brittany did not want to be reminded of, but it couldn't be helped.

"Yeah, we met up, but we didn't get to talk much." Brittany felt uneasy and silently wished Mychal would just drop the topic.

It was then that Mychal briefly turned from making pancakes to see Brittany and did a double take. There were dark circles around Brittany's eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"What?"

"You don't look like you've gotten enough sleep. What were you and Santana had been doing?" Mychal joked. For a moment, Brittany's face burned. The double meaning of Mychal's words did not escape her.

"Nothing. I couldn't sleep. And I couldn't say the same thing for your sister. Santana doesn't even need a bedroom to sleep in."

"Well, don't miss her too much." Mychal grinned as Santana wobbled into the kitchen, and paid the two a brief glance, maybe a glare. Brittany watched discreetly, but immediately looked somewhere else when Santana looked her way.

"Had a great sleep?" Mychal grinned mischievously at his sister. Santana glowered at him but didn't answer.

"Thanks for the blanket. I never knew you cared so much about me." Santana didn't bother to mask the sarcasm. She pulled the nearest chair which so happened to be the one next to Brittany's.

"What blanket?" Mychal looked genuinely confused.

Brittany and Santana caught each other's eyes, now realizing who really gave Santana the blanket. Mychal saw the exchange, and grinned.

"So Brittany, any special someone back there?" Mychal returned to interviewing Brittany.

Brittany silently cursed. Why Mychal had to bring that up that exact moment Santana was there, she couldn't guess.

"Mychal, why don't you just mind your own business?" Santana castigated him, apparently annoyed, which fueled Mychal's interest even more.

"Why don't you let her answer?"

"You don't have to." Santana steadfastly told Brittany. The last thing she needed to hear was a story that would remind her of that day in Paris, more specifically a story about Brittany's life with someone back there. Her brother wasn't helping with the headache.

Brittany noticed Santana pressing hard on her own temple.

"It's okay. I... No, right now there's no one special. You know me, I'm kind of choosy." Brittany smiled. The information piqued Santana's interest.

"Really?" Santana pondered for a moment before asking. "What happened to that guy?" Despite her head hurting like hell, Santana could not help asking.

"What guy?" Brittany feigned innocence. Of course she knew who Santana was referring to.

"That arrogant son of a-" Santana realized Mychal was now looking suspiciously at her. "Your boyfriend in Paris." Santana had to choke the 'boyfriend' part out. Just speaking it made her feel sick in the stomach. She had never felt so much hate for someone.

The two engaged in a staring match for a few seconds, before Brittany finally answered what Santana had been subconsciously dying to hear.

"He's history." Brittany shrugged. She then pulled a pad of what looked like tablets of medicine. Santana watched curiously as the dancer popped two tablets open and handed it to her. "Here."

"...?"

"You're going to have to drink it. It's what people do in a civilized world, where medicine does wonders." Brittany said jokingly while gesturing that it was for the headache. She pushed her glass of water towards Santana.

"Why?"

"You have meds on your pockets? What, is that a dancer protocol?" Mychal looked amused.

"No. I just knew Santana's going to need it." Brittany looked expectantly at Santana, who still wasn't taking the two tablets of aspirin from her hand.

"I'm fine." Santana insisted.

"Do you want to spend the rest of the day feeling like a chicken on a chopping block?" Brittany raised an eyebrow at her.

"Do you enjoy bossing me around?"

"You're such a baby."

"I'm not a baby!"

"Are you sure you two aren't a couple?" The question made them turn away from each other.

Maya entered the kitchen in her pajamas, desperately hunting for coffee. She was pointing suspiciously at Santana and Brittany.

Santana, looking embarrassed, took the two tablets of aspirin from Brittany, swallowed it, and drank from the glass of water.

Mychal laughed. Maya was shaking her head.

"Cousin, you're so whipped."

"Stop embarrassing her. She's straight." Santana growled at Maya, and without looking at Brittany, stormed out of the kitchen.

"Whoops." Maya and Mychal exchanged looks.

And silently, Brittany feared that the teasing by Santana's relatives wasn't helping her with her friendship with Santana.

Brittany barely saw Santana the rest of the day. She had no idea where the lawyer had gone, whether she went somewhere or was actually just around. Brittany couldn't really tell. Santana wasn't even around during lunch, and before Brittany could ask, Mychal mentioned something about visiting an old friend and picking up Quinn and Rachel from the airport. She almost forgot about their friends coming. Maya asked her why she didn't go with Santana, and Brittany lied about preferring to stay.

Even after taking a nap that afternoon, Brittany woke up without seeing Santana anywhere. For a brief moment, she actually panicked about Santana leaving Veracruz without her, but then she found Santana's clothes inside their shared closet.

It was late in the afternoon when she joined Santana's cousins at the shore, who were sitting on logs, chatting, singing and playing guitar. Maya had given her a pair of new bikinis so she could swim. She was actually enjoying their company, better than Santana's apparently. But somehow, she wished Santana was there. She wished she could just be friends with her again and laugh with her like this, like they did before.

Unknown to Brittany, Santana had been by the side of the house for quite long, watching the blonde in the company of her cousins which Brittany actually enjoyed. The dancer finally got a break from Santana's tormenting aloofness. Santana could still see the smile in Brittany's face, probably because of a joke one of her cousins had told. When she was still watching from a distance, some playing frisbees, the others swimming, she saw how much fun her cousins were having with their guest.

"Auntie San!" That cute little voice pulled Santana from her reverie. She turned her gaze to the door of the main house where she saw Quinn and her daughter bouncing down the stairs.

"Oh, hi Beth! How is my favorite goddaughter?" Santana gave Beth a hug. The child had been asleep since picking them up from the airport and just woke up, now dressed in cute little pink one-piece bathing suit.

"I'm great Auntie San, thanks for bringing me here." As the child looked around, the amazement was so obvious in the little blonde's eyes.

Beth was an exact replica of Quinn.

"Those are really cute." Santana motioned at Beth's swimsuit. "Can I borrow them?"

"Not today Auntie San. I want to go swimming!" Beth jumped in glee, eyes fixed at the direction of the water. Santana and Quinn exchanged smiles. "Is that Aunt Britt?" It was only recently that Beth met Brittany in person, but she had seen Brittany for so many times during skyping with her mother that she couldn't be mistaken. Santana followed Beth's gaze, eyes falling upon that tall, lean, tanned blonde in red bikinis, laughing with Maya.

"Yeah..."

"Wow, she's pretty."

"Yeah, she is." Santana couldn't help the smile in her face.

Quinn raised an eyebrow as she watched her friend stare at the bikini-wearing dancer, unblinking.

"Can I swim now, Auntie San?" Beth looked up at her godmother, looking hopeful.

"Go ahead, sport." She gave the small blonde a little push.

"Yay!" Beth then ran bouncing towards Brittany's direction.

It didn't take long before Brittany notice the little girl torpedoing towards her direction. A big smile immediately formed on her face. As Beth jumped into her arms, Brittany was fast to catch her. After making sure she had a tight grip of Quinn's daughter, she spun Beth around, causing both of them to giggle.

Quinn crossed her arms, and playfully poked Santana with her elbow. It didn't break Santana's stare and she continued to look on. When Brittany turned her head at their direction and waved, Santana didn't stop herself from waving back.

"Mmm, she has really nice ass." Quinn remarked, watching her bestie at the corner of her eyes.

"Perve." Santana rolled her eyes.

"Birds of the same feather. I still can't believe you got to tap that." The photographer purposely mocked the brunette.

"Bite me, Quinn."

"Not interested."

"Ugh. You really are a perve. A repressed perve at that. Why don't you stop ogling Rachel and try to ask her out, maybe she actually has a taste. So you could take out your pent up sexual frustrations on someone?"

"You just want me to stop staring at your ex." Quinn grinned at Santana.

"Brittany's not my ex, and yes, I want you to stop perving on her."

"I will if you will." The blonde challenged.

Santana just sighed in annoyance.

"Speaking of Rachel, where the hell is she?"

"Still unpacking."

Santana began walking towards a group of her cousins. Those who saw them smiled at Quinn in recognition.

"It's about time." Maya remarked upon seeing Santana walking towards them, which snapped Brittany out of her daze she didn't even realize she had fallen into. Beth was already playing with Santana's younger cousins and the dancer had rejoined the singing group. "Hey Quinn." Maya smiled.

"Hi guys." Quinn smiled at everyone.

"Is that Beth? She's so cute." Maya gushed. It was Beth's first time to join Quinn in this Veracruz trip.

"What can I say, like mother like daughter." Quinn proudly said.

"We're playing frisbees. Want to join?" Santana's cousin John asked Brittany as he got up. Margie, Vince, Kristen, Mateo and Mychal were already heading to a clear and wider space of the shore, while John and Maya waited for Brittany's answer.

"Su-" Brittany was interrupted before she could finish what would have been a 'sure'.

"No she doesn't."

Maya and Quinn's eyes snapped at Santana's direction, simultaneously raising an eyebrow each. John shrugged, and followed their other cousins. Brittany looked at Santana, puzzled.

"She's coming with me." Santana stopped in front of Brittany and Maya, her eyes focused on Brittany.

"Possessive much?" Maya rolled her eyes. "How about you, Quinn?"

"I'm with you. Wouldn't want to intrude in their quality time together." Quinn gave Santana that mischievous look and winked at her.

Santana watched as Quinn and Maya ran after John to join their cousins who were already playing. Meanwhile, Brittany got up from her seat on the log and turned to face Santana. The lawyer was looking solemnly at her, and Brittany couldn't read what was going on in the lawyer's mind.

"I can answer for myself, you know." Brittany jokingly said. Santana didn't smile. She just stood there staring, forcing Brittany to look away. Santana's actions were surprising at the least. When after a few seconds, still, Santana did not say anything, Brittany turned to follow Maya, but was stopped when Santana grabbed her left hand.

"Come with me." It wasn't a request. It was an order.

"Where?" Brittany turned to face her again.

"Just trust me." Santana then pulled Brittany at another direction, still holding on to Brittany's left hand.

The blonde made no effort to tug her arm free. Okay, so maybe she liked feeling Santana's hand against her own. But the brunette didn't have to know that. Brittany inwardly smiled.

It was a short walk to a dock Brittany never noticed existed before. Well, she hadn't really toured the beach property. Santana forgot to do the honors, and Brittany had been trapped by the family who wanted nothing but to share stories with her. It was nice. She would have appreciated a walk around the beach though.

When Santana let Brittany's hand go, the brunette then proceeded to descend to a motorboat, leaving Brittany watching from the dock. Again, Santana extended her right hand.

"We're riding that?" Brittany looked surprised.

"Where else?" Santana looked around, a gesture to show Brittany that there was really nothing else to ride in.

"Do you even know how to drive that?" Brittany looked unsure.

"Do you trust me?" Santana held Brittany's gaze. Reluctantly, Brittany took Santana's hand again, and the latter helped her get into the motorboat.

"While the whole stranded in an island thing had been overly romanticized over the years, I'm not really up for it." Brittany anxiously sat on the built-in bench as Santana untied the motorboat from the dock and stood in front of the wheel.

Santana turned to face Brittany with a reassuring look on her face.

"No one's going to be stranded on any kind of island today and it's not going to be romantic, just... quiet and peaceful." And for the first time since 'forcing' her captive to join her in this motorboat ride, a lopsided smile formed in Santana's face.

Brittany smiled back. And suddenly, she felt comfortable, and less scared.

Santana turned the engine on, veered the boat towards the sea, and picked up speed. From behind, Brittany watched her, thinking of those times when they used to do things together.

It felt as good as this.

"It's the only place that we could be alone. No annoying cousins, no prying relatives..."

Brittany snapped out of her thoughts. She didn't realize she spaced out and that the engine of the boat was already turned off. For a while, she was alarmed, but then, saw that they weren't very far from the beach house after all. From where the motorboat had stopped, she could still see Santana's cousins playing frisbee on the shore. Santana must have turned the engine off on purpose. So, no one's going to be stranded, for now.

"Why the sudden interest in spending some alone time with me? Just yesterday you seemed to loathe the idea." Brittany asked frankly. Since they were in the middle of the sea, there was no way for Santana to avoid having to answer.

"Loathe is a strong word." Santana was now facing her with her arms crossed.

"Well, you and I have the knack for using words we don't really mean."

Brittany could hear the flock of birds flying above them. She looked up. It was a beautiful blue sky, and when she turned to her right, she found an even better scene. The sun was setting in the west, and it was the most beautiful sunset she had ever seen.

"I told you before, I don't hate you."

"You can't blame me if I found that so hard to believe. You can't even stand being in a room with me." Brittany took note of the fact that Santana had to sleep on the couch and drink herself to sleep.

"You can't blame me either if I'm a little bit guarded." Santana countered.

Brittany thought of how ironic this current situation was. It was the most romantic scene ever, with the sun setting, two people alone, and talking in the middle of a very peaceful sea.

And it had to be her and Santana.

Brittany almost smiled.

"I thought I was tough." Santana laughed at herself. "You made me cry like a baby." She said good-naturedly at Brittany. "It took a while before it stopped hurting, you know. You're not that easy to get over with. And when I saw you, I was... I felt afraid of being near you again."

"So... what are you trying to say?"

Santana turned away from Brittany, looking far but at nothing in particular. To Brittany, it felt like minutes, and Santana was taking too long to say something back. The tension was starting to creep back in. Unfortunately for both of them, there was no escape, no way out.

"I still don't know how I feel about having you around again."

"Oh." Brittany felt a slight sting in her heart.

"It's... I can't look at you and not remember how it all felt... how you... how the world came crashing down on me when-" Santana looked defeated, and let out a deep sigh. Even until today, she couldn't stand talking about it, about being broken by Brittany, about seeing her kiss that guy in Paris. "In a way you... destroyed me." It was the best metaphor Santana could find.

"I'm sorry..." Brittany wished she knew anything better to say.

"No. I'm sorry." Santana turned to look at Brittany, whose eyes reflected too much sadness, Santana momentarily regretted saying what she had just said. But she had to keep her ground. She had to say what she really felt. She couldn't just pretend that she was all fine and dandy seeing Brittany and talking to her again.

It just wasn't that easy.

"Why are you apologizing?" Brittany met Santana's gaze.

"You told me that I'm important to you. And even if I don't act like it right now, you're important to me too. You have always been, it's just... You're a part of my past that I'm not sure if I want to keep. It's too painful." Santana couldn't hold Brittany's gaze anymore. She couldn't take the sadness reflected on those pair of eyes.

The silence between them took longer. Santana suddenly regretted bringing Brittany in the water, where neither of them could leave.

"Is this your subtle way of telling me to piss off?" Brittany said frankly.

"I don't know."

"Because I'm not going anywhere, Santana."

"Apparently." Santana motioned to the water, joking to slightly lighten up the mood. But it didn't lift either of their spirits.

Silence.

"Britt, I'm not sure if I can be your friend again, the way we used to be friends. It's complicated."

"I know. But still, you're not going to discourage me that easily. I'll try to make everything right until you stop hurting. And I do hope for that time to come. I just want you to be happy, San."

Santana had her eyes towards the direction of the shore.

"Don't make my family love you so much. I'd hate to disappoint them." Santana broke their silence after letting out a deep breath.

Brittany realized the attempt to steer the conversation away, to a less complicated one. She knew Santana had already ended their previous conversation.

"I think they get it now, that you and I are just really friends." Brittany forced a smile. "I should take the couch tonight." Somehow, Brittany knew that if she didn't volunteer, Santana would probably take the couch to get away from her anyway. It was only fair, she thought.

"Last night was awkward. It was the first time since we..." Santana cleared her throat. "Anyway, tonight's fine."

"Uh, are you sure?"

"It's a big bed." Santana casually replied. With that, Santana started the motorboat again, and next thing Brittany knew, they were back at the shore, with Santana's cousins.


	4. New Beginnings

**CHAPTER 4 NEW BEGINNINGS**

"So... How's Veracruz?" Kurt couldn't contain his curiosity anymore. Santana had never mentioned anything about her stay there with Brittany, and it was really getting the best of him. He was waiting with Quinn and Santana for Mercedes at Team Tennis, a tennis club that they use to frequent, all dressed in their tennis outfits.

"It's fine." Santana shrugged nonchalantly.

"You weren't rude to Brittany, were you?" Kurt narrowed his eyes at her. That was actually what he had been worried about all along when she left Brittany in Santana's company.

"What?" Santana turned to Kurt with a scowl. They were occupying a round table courtside of the double tennis court that they had rented.

"That's what you're good at." Kurt said as a matter of fact.

"Excuse me, I'm not rude. And I wasn't rude to her." Santana sounded quite annoyed at the accusation. While it may have been true, still, Kurt shouldn't just jump into conclusions.

"Rude or not rude. Come on, spill. How did it go?" Kurt continued with his interrogation. Meanwhile, Quinn just watched with interest.

"You're asking me how it went? It went great. It went so great that my relatives thought she's my girlfriend." Santana rolled her eyes, accompanied by a frantic shaking of the head, showing her disbelief.

"Really? Why didn't I know that?" This time, it was Quinn who narrowed her eyes at her, with a tone which was more mocking than anything else.

"Not my fault you flew in late. Auntie Ria actually had the nerve to ask if I have already proposed to Britt."

Quinn and Kurt exchanged looks and burst out laughing. Santana threw a napkin at Quinn who managed to catch it.

"I wish I'd seen your face." Quinn said.

"Even if Brittany was my girlfriend, they shouldn't be asking those questions. I can't believe I'm related to those people."

"They are lovely people, Santana. I can't believe they are related to YOU." Quinn shook her head, feigning disappointment.

"So they liked Brittany, huh?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, everybody liked her. Actually, that's an understatement. They loved her, they loved her too much to the point that they thought I'm marrying Brittany like I told you before, and decided it's okay to invite her to our Barbecue Sundays." Santana stomped her feet under the table, still contemplating whether to really pick Brittany up or not this upcoming Sunday to take her. She was pretty sure that Auntie Ria wouldn't give her a break if she didn't. And she would be facing serious and repeated scolding from every one of her ascendants if they didn't get what they want, meaning Brittany's presence, on a stupid barbecue Sunday.

"Wow. I met your relatives before but they never even mentioned your Barbecue Sundays." Kurt couldn't help but be amused.

"Maybe you're not girlfriend material." Santana joked.

"Excuse me?"

"You're not really my type anyway. Sorry Kurt." Santana gave Kurt a patronizing tap on the shoulder.

"I'm offended." Kurt feigned indignance, then the three of them laughed together.

"Where in the world is Mercedes?" Santana impatiently threw a glance at her wrist watch and saw that they had been waiting for their friend for 20 minutes already. "She's unusually late."

"Yeah, she's-" Quinn saw movement from the corner of her eyes and when she turned to look at the direction of the entrance… "-just arrived. With someone." Quinn finished. Kurt and Santana followed the direction of Quinn's gaze, which elicited two different expressions on their faces: a smile from Kurt, and a scowl from Santana.

"Hey guys. Have you been here long?" Mercedes happily joined their table, followed by none other than Brittany Pierce, the topic of their recent conversation. Kurt and Quinn exchanged glances, both discreetly spying on Santana.

"I'm like growing roots on my seat already. Thanks for coming." Santana sarcastically replied and got up from the seat, picking up her tennis racket from the table, motioning for Kurt to follow her. Kurt shrugged and got up as well, with his own racket and positioned himself on one of the tennis courts opposite Santana.

Quinn couldn't help but laugh at the funny expression on Mercedes's face.

"She's in that foul mood again?" Mercedes raised an eyebrow as she watched Kurt and Santana hit balls, no pun intended.

"You know how impatient she is." Quinn, of course, knew it wasn't the reason for Santana's mood.

"Kate must be a saint for being able to put up with her." Mercedes shook her head frantically, slightly annoyed that their friend was too moody sometimes. Quinn threw a brief look at Brittany's direction, discreetly spying as to how Brittany reacted at the mention of Santana's girlfriend's name.

No suspicious reaction at all.

"I didn't know you invited Brittany. You should have told us, Mercedes. We could have invited another friend over. Now one of us would have to sit the game out." Quinn smiled at Brittany, who looked relieved at being welcomed.

"We went for a jog together this morning. She didn't have anything to do, and I have this painful feeling in my right hand, I think I twisted a nerve or something. So, I thought Brittany could fill in for me."

"Oh. Okay. Let's go play then." Quinn got up from her chair and Brittany walked towards the other empty court with her.

For a moment, they walked in silence.

"Just don't mind her." Quinn whispered at Brittany in an attempt to make her feel better. Santana's rudeness was really embarrassing on her part. While it may have been unintentional on her friend's part, still, Santana had to learn how to be sensitive around people's feelings, not just her own.

"Huh?" Brittany knew that Quinn was talking about Santana, but wouldn't want to go on assuming.

"Santana is still on defensive mode."

Brittany smiled politely at her, not really wanting to talk about how uncomfortable Santana felt having her around. She already knew about it, they had talked about it. Santana wasn't clear as to what she really wanted, but Brittany made sure that she was.

She made sure that Santana knew she wasn't going anywhere.

"So... Are you guys okay?"

"Well, if by 'okay', you mean, weird, awkward, complicated, then I'm more than okay." A sad smile formed in Brittany's face.

"She'll come around. You were good friends before. It took a long time for her to heal, Brittany. Having you back in her life all of a sudden is something she wasn't prepared for, so, just give her some time. She'll adjust."

"Soon, I hope."

"Better be. Or I'm gonna have to hit that hard head of hers so she'd find her senses back." Quinn joked, winking at Brittany, who burst out laughing.

"Thanks." Brittany took her position in the tennis court next to the one being occupied by Kurt and Santana. She was on Kurt's side.

It was the game that Brittany missed to play, with Santana, in particular. While in Paris, she never really had much time to enjoy her stay there, contrary to what she originally planned and envisioned. Or, maybe she did have time, just not the excitement or motivation. All she did was work. Relaxation meant a few cocktails with her friends at night, in a quiet bar. Other than that, she had long days. She worked hard, that's what she came to Paris for. She couldn't really say she's happy. Now, she couldn't really understand why she chose Paris, after all. If she had a reason, she couldn't remember it now.

And this felt great, being with her friends again. Though it wasn't Santana that she was playing with, she was having fun. With a few glances, she could see Santana, looking fierce at being in her element. She could see the lawyer's face glistening with sweat, yet she still looked stunning.

Brittany let out a deep sigh. Did she just think that Santana looked stunning? She was starting to get distracted, and she just missed Quinn's strong groundstroke.

"Better pick up your game, Pierce. You're getting rusty!" Quinn joked.

So Brittany turned to her, with a smug smile on her face, preparing herself for Quinn's next service. She was good at this game, and Quinn knew she wasn't that skilled to beat her. She just got a little bit distracted with that other person in the other court, who could care less about her presence.

"Too early to celebrate, Fabray."

"Maybe you're not as good as you think."

"So bring it."

A wide grin formed on Quinn's face. She got back into position, looking smug. She shrugged, as if too bored. Brittany didn't blink. She stood, far from being unnerved by Quinn's attempt. She could beat her in this game, but that wasn't what she really wanted to do at the moment.

And that one thing she wanted to do, she was intent on doing.

Brittany watched as Quinn released the ball from her left hand, her body bending in harmony with her right hand, motioning for one strong service. When the ball reached Brittany's side of the court, she was more than prepared. Letting the ball hit the ground first, Brittany gripped tighter on to her racket, holding it in a flat position. When the ball reached about her shoulder level, she swung, purposely hitting it out of court.

More particularly, to the other court.

It would be an understatement to say that Quinn was surprised when instead of having the ball back into her side of the court, it crossed to the other.

The ball hit Santana square on the right side of her head.

"Oww!" Santana screamed. The game stopped playing on their side of the court. When her eyes flickered dangerously to find the culprit, she found Brittany smirking at her. The Latina narrowed her eyes at the blonde, trying her best to stop herself from running across and smacking that triumphant smile off the dancer's face. She almost lost it when Brittany merely shrugged, playing it off as if it was an accident.

It was obviously not.

Quinn was laughing hysterically, while Kurt just looked amused.

"Nice shot!" Quinn walked towards their net, raising her right hand for a high-five with Brittany, earning her a death glare from the lawyer. Santana was seething, but couldn't do anything about it.

When all the players got tired and Mercedes was bored to death sitting on the sidelines, the group decided to shower and change at Santana's apartment which wasn't too far away from the tennis club.

Mercedes and Brittany shared Santana's bedroom to change. Brittany, for a moment, was overwhelmed by just being there; too much memories. Mercedes, on the other hand, was busy looking for some scarf she could wear to accessorize her outfit for their girls' night out, and accidentally pulled a corporate white blouse with a torn sleeve which was somewhat familiar. She raised it up for inspection, and upon searching for the tag, she realized it was Gucci.

The Gucci she sent Santana after passing the bar.

Mercedes's eyes widened comically. Brittany realized what Mercedes had been holding and staring at, the torn sleeve giving it away. Her face turned red, and as much as she wanted to steal Mercedes's attention away from the blouse, she couldn't find her voice to speak.

Santana entered the room.

"So did you find the scarf?" Santana was headed towards Mercedes, who turned her glaring gaze at her with that 'what-the-fuck' look on her face, then lifted the blouse for Santana to see.

Santana Lopez had never been this flustered in her entire life.

"Uhm... That's not really your style." Santana tried to joke, but Mercedes wasn't that amused.

"What the hell happened? I gave this to you." Mercedes confronted her friend, who couldn't give any explanation, but noticeably had turned briefly at Brittany's direction. Both looked helpless, and were obviously avoiding each others' eyes.

Mercedes shifted her suspicious gaze back and forth Santana and Brittany, whose colors in their faces were far from being normal. And she didn't have to ask. By looking at these two, the doctor could already piece the puzzle.

"Unbelievable."

"Look, I'm sorry. We- I mean, I-" Santana tried to backpedal.

"It's Gucci! No matter how desperate you were to rip each others' clothes off, you didn't have to do it literally! God, this is Gucci!" Mercedes stormed out of the bedroom, with a nice maroon scarf she found from Santana's closet, shoving the torn Gucci to Brittany on her way out, who lifted the same for her own inspection.

"If it makes you feel better, the coat and the skirt are fine!" Santana shouted after Mercedes.

Mercedes just flipped a finger at Santana without bothering to turn back, leaving Brittany and Santana alone with each other.

Oops.

Santana's head turn upon hearing someone clearing her throat.

"So you kept it, huh?" Brittany joked to lighten up the tension.

"It's Gucci!" Santana tried to reason, echoing Mercedes. Blushing furiously, Santana tried to ignore the lameness of her excuse and snatched the blouse from Brittany, folded it and threw it back inside the closet where it belonged.

Brittany watched her in amusement.

After closing the closet door, Santana turned around, about to follow Mercedes out of the bedroom, when Brittany's voice stopped her.

"So you're finally able to paint your room red. About time. It looks cozy."

"It's Kate's idea. She's really demanding and quite bossy. Reminds me of _someone_, actually." Santana turned to face her again, emphasizing the last part. With hands in her pocket, she looked a bit awkward, but this time, not distant.

Brittany smiled.

"I'm not bossy." The dancer perfectly knew Santana was pertaining to her.

"Right." Santana playfully rolled her eyes.

"Well, sometimes maybe. And I'm not demanding either."

"You were so demanding, you had to tear my Gucci apart when I wouldn't take it off." Santana grinned upon seeing Brittany's flushed cheeks. She finally got her back for teasing her about the Gucci blouse.

"So you're blaming it on me then?" Brittany raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it was you who ripped it." Santana stated as a matter of fact.

A short silence, and then they both laughed, easing the tension that was just in the air a few seconds ago.

"If it makes you feel better, I'll buy you a new one." Brittany said.

"No, no. It wouldn't be the same then. It wouldn't be from Mercedes. Maybe I should just ask her to buy a new one for me."

"I don't think that's going to make her feel better, but go ahead."

And then they laughed at the idea again before falling into comfortable silence; the kind of silence that they missed. It reminded them of the good old days.

"I think they are already waiting for us." Santana was referring to their friends, whose voices she could hear from outside the bedroom.

"Yeah."

"After you." Santana motioned for Brittany to go first.

"You don't have to be such a gentlewoman." Brittany smiled.

"It comes natural." Santana smiled back.

"You're so full of contradictions, you know that?" Brittany walked towards the door.

"I am what I am." Santana followed her outside.

They went to Bar 210 at Beverly Hills. Brittany, Mercedes and Santana were left in their table, while Quinn and Kurt went to get them drinks. It was busy a night, the place was crowded. Truth was, this place was always crowded. The only reason they managed to get a table was because they were with Santana Lopez.

"Uhm... Sorry about the ball." Brittany sheepishly looked at Santana. The two of them were sitting side by side, having no choice on the matter after being shoved into the couch by Quinn on one side and Mercedes on the other side.

"What?" The music was blaring and Santana had to strain her ears to hear what Brittany was saying.

"She said she's sorry about hitting you with the tennis ball, though I think Brittany did it on purpose!" Mercedes repeated for Santana, making the lawyer slightly flinch on her seat.

"What the fuck?! You don't have to shout, I'm not deaf!" Santana screamed at Mercedes in retaliation.

"You were just a moment ago." Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"Are you still mad at me because of the Gucci?"

"Of course not. I understand now." Mercedes turned deviously at her friend.

"Understand what?" Santana looked utterly confused.

"How intense that night must have been for you. I mean, hey, it was years of pent-up sexual frustration. I would have shred even the most durable clothes to pieces if it was me." Mercedes grinned upon seeing the two blushing like highschool students who just got busted making out. Brittany pretended that she wasn't listening, and Santana kicked her on the shins, under the table.

"Hey, that hurt!" Mercedes kicked her back.

"You deserved it!" Santana glared at her.

"You know what? I'm gonna go find Quinn and Kurt. I think I forgot to mention that I'd like a shot of _Flaming Orgasm_." Mercedes winked at Santana, before laughing and walking away.

Brittany could hear Santana muttering something to herself.

"Don't mind her." Santana said. Noticeably, Santana had moved slightly away from Brittany. Amused, she playfully nudged Santana on the side, making Santana jump a bit from her seat.

"That was... awkward." Brittany commented.

"Yeah..." Santana sighed in relief that Mercedes had left them alone.

"So... they knew, huh?"

"Look, I know I shouldn't have told anybody, but I was in a funk for a long time. I had to talk to someone and I only told Quinn, but she told Kurt and-"

"They probably think that I'm a bad person for hurting you." Brittany's mood had shifted, and Santana couldn't help but feel slightly guilty about that. She still hated seeing Brittany like this.

"No they don't. Well, I wouldn't say Quinn was a fan, but she's my bestfriend. She's biased. Britt, I know you don't want people to know. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I did not mean to humiliate you or anything."

"I don't think 'humiliate' is the proper term. I'm just a bit... I don't know. It's weird that our friends could joke about what happened and we even laugh at it, when it's the one thing that, you know, we don't really want to talk about."

Brittany and Santana's eyes locked, both understanding what Brittany meant. And she was right, they didn't want to talk about it. So why don't just avoid it altogether? Everything was going well now.

"Did you hit me on purpose?" Santana remembered what Mercedes said just moments ago, purposely changing the topic.

"What?"

"The tennis ball. It wasn't a stray ball, was it?" Santana playfully narrowed her eyes at her friend.

"Well, you barely paid me any attention, so I tried to get some." Brittany wasn't sorry.

"Great shot." Santana smiled.

"Thanks."

It was strange really, how they would be awkward one minute, and settle into a comfortable silence the next. Since crossing the lines of friendship to this gray area of their relationship, their dynamics had changed. Santana liked having these simple moments with Brittany.

"Britt?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, San. What is it?"

Santana was reluctant and did not ask right away. She pondered for a moment, as to why she should even ask. But like everything that was about Brittany, she couldn't help herself. Blame it on old habits.

"Why did you really come back?"

"I wanted you to forgive me." Brittany didn't even have to think of the answer. Her mind was set upon coming home. The first thing was to see Santana and hope to God that the lawyer would forgive her.

"We're cool." Santana gave the blonde a reassuring smile.

"And because I missed you."

"Well, I missed you too, Britt."

That was when Brittany saw that man in the corner of her eyes. The man she got set up with once by a friend for a blind date two days after she had gotten back in the U.S. It was a bad date. She did it just so she wouldn't disappoint her friend. While she never really enjoyed going out on dates, the date with this one was by far the worst. She had to text her sister to call her and pretend that there was an emergency so she could get out of the date early. This guy, while good-looking, nice and rich, was very persistent. She never answered one call, but she realized that he wasn't smart enough to get the hint.

Before getting into the bar, she had already seen him and tried her best not to get noticed, but unfortunately, he did see her. He waved, but she pretended that she didn't see. He had been smiling at her, following them while she tried her best to get their group away without being too obvious that she was avoiding him. She even heard him call out her name once or twice, but she wasn't in the mood to talk to him or see him.

Brittany just needed to get rid of him.

"Let's get out of here." Brittany leaned closer to Santana, her warm breath hitting Santana's ears, making the lawyer turn slightly red at the feeling. They could barely rekindle their friendship, and still, being too close to the dancer felt a little bit too much.

"But we just got here." Santana looked around for Quinn, Kurt and Mercedes, trying her best to hide the blush that crept up her face. Where the hell were her friends and why did they choose this time to leave her alone with this fidgeting dancer?

Brittany, in the corner of her eyes, could see him coming, with that stupid grin on his face. And he was getting nearer by the second.

"Oh shit…"

"What?" Santana frowned.

Brittany tried to come up with solutions on how to get rid of this guy. She looked around, making sure that no one was paying attention except that one guy she wanted gone. When the blonde was satisfied that no one was looking, with a determined look on her face, she spoke.

"Kiss me." It wasn't a request.

Santana's head turned with a snap to face Brittany.

"Excuse me?" Santana squeaked.

"Kiss me." Brittany's voice sounded urgent, demanding. Her eyes kept darting from Santana to her right side. If somebody asked, she could play this off as due to being drunk although they were lacking of props, as in liquor.

But screw that, she had to do something.

"Uhm, I'm sorry. I don't think I heard you correctly." Santana's ears strained to decipher what Brittany really meant. She was sure she heard the word 'kiss' twice, and she wasn't very convinced that it was the word 'me' that followed it. She wondered whether she had taken too much booze that she was already imagining things, but then she realized that she hadn't even had a sip of anything since getting in.

"Oh for fuck's sake."

Brittany muttered more to herself, almost in panic, before her left hand rested at the back of Santana's neck, the contact surprising the lawyer; more so Brittany's subsequent action of pulling her closer. So agonizingly close that Santana lost all rational thoughts in her brain. And as their lips met, feeling that familiar warmth of Brittany's lips that she actually missed despite herself, she absentmindedly lifted her right hand, entangling it with Brittany's soft, long blonde hair, losing herself in the kiss that came out of nowhere.

Then it ended too soon.

Santana sat confused and slightly dizzy in front of Brittany, her lips still puckered in the air as she was unwillingly pulled back into reality. Was she even supposed to kiss back? She could still feel Brittany's left hand at the back of her neck, but when she looked at her, Brittany was looking at somewhere else, looking rather relieved.

When Brittany pulled her hand away, Santana was sure she would have fallen on the floor had she been standing. From where she was sitting, she felt her knees wobble.

"Good. He's gone." There was a triumphant smile in Brittany's face.

"Huh?" It was all Santana managed to say.

"Permanently, I hope." Brittany turned her attention back to Santana, who was still clinging into the haze of what just happened. "San? Santana!"

"What?" The huskiness in Santana's voice turned Brittany slightly red. And Brittany realized Santana had no clue about what just happened.

"I, uh... I'm sorry, I... There was this guy who wouldn't stop pestering me. He doesn't really get that I'm not interested. I hope you didn't mind me using you."

Then Brittany literally facepalmed at how she phrased her sentence.

"I mean… oh crap. That came out wrong. I was… just. Uhm, thanks?" Brittany winced at herself.

Santana chuckled at how red Brittany's cheeks and ears had become.

"Yeah, uh... Sure." Santana smiled, but still not sure about what just happened.

"Thanks. Again." The blonde sheepishly smiled at her.

"Uhm, you're welcome?" Santana felt awkward, and the burning in her cheeks was not helping. And when they caught each other's eyes, they just burst out laughing. She nudged Brittany on the side, and Brittany returned it. Their friends arrived with them still playfully nudging each other. Mercedes had that suspicious look on her face, and with a shot glass of Flaming Orgasm in her hand, and before she could crack another embarrassing joke, Santana excused herself to go to the restroom.

When Sunday arrived, it was time for barbecues.

It was the day that Santana's family had been excitedly waiting for. She picked up Brittany and drove to the ancestral home just outside LA, and unlike that quiet and awkward drive that they had with Kurt that time they were going to Veracruz, this one was close to what they had before all the pain and the hurt, before Paris, before that night.

Santana sat with her cousins Margie, Vince and Jonah as she watched them play poker.

"What took you so long?" Margie asked.

"I had to finish some papers. Tons of motions due for filing tomorrow." Santana sipped from her bottle of water.

"She's nice. I like her." Jonah said. Santana followed the direction of her cousin's gaze, which fell upon Brittany, who was helping Maya not so far away, with the barbecue.

"I'm sure she likes you as well. Like a _little brother_." Santana made sure to emphasize.

"Don't worry, I'm not crushing on your girlfriend."

"Like I've said a thousand times in Veracruz, she's not my girlfriend." This time, Santana didn't sound defensive, just amused.

"Well, I wasn't in Veracruz. If she isn't your girlfriend, then why is she here helping out? It's family day." Jonah prodded.

"I don't remember having strict rules as to who can attend barbecue Sundays. Everybody invited her to come along."

"To be honest with you, nobody believes that this Kate even exists." Margie told her.

"What?" Santana frowned at her cousin.

"Who's Kate?" Jonah turned curiously at Santana.

"My real girlfriend."

"Her girlfriend that we've never met." Margie added.

"She's quite busy. She's a pilot."

"Cool." Jonah said.

"And when are we going to meet this Kate?" Vince asked.

"At Auntie Ria and Uncle Abran's 30th wedding anniversary."

"So she'll be there?" Margie looked intrigued.

"Of course."

"Can't wait to finally meet her." Margie smiled.

Santana wasn't really into poker, and she knew little about card games. However, her attention wasn't really in the game, but focused on that person, standing from a distance with her cousin Maya, not minding the smokes surrounding them caused by the barbecue grill they were cooking on. The two, who seemed to have hit it off as good friends from the beginning, were laughing at something, and Santana felt like it was one of the most normal situations she had ever seen. She never pictured it before, but she liked seeing Brittany enjoying time with her family.

Brittany waved at her, and Santana waved back. The dancer must have noticed her staring.

_I'm staring. Why am I staring?_

So Santana tried to focus her attention back into her cousins' card game. Then she heard the shrieking coming from Maya and Brittany's direction. Mateo and John were screaming and laughing like hyenas as they tried to pull both Brittany and Maya into the swimming pool.

"No, please, I didn't bring-" Before Brittany could finish, she and Maya were thrown into the pool, creating a loud splash.

Mateo and John, screaming in glee like barbarians, jumped after them. And then, they were all laughing and having fun.

Santana could only shake her head in amusement.

Outside the door of a bedroom, which used to belong to Santana's mother, she was waiting. Brittany was inside, getting out of her wet clothes. Santana had given her a towel. And Santana, with her patience, just couldn't wait anymore, barged into the bedroom, catching Brittany only in her panties. The blonde immediately covered her front with her towel.

"What the- San! Can't you knock?!" Brittany tried to cover herself in exasperation, which only got Santana's eyes rolling.

"Stop overacting."

"Pervert."

"Oh please. It's nothing I've never seen before." Santana made a point by running her eyes from Brittany's head to toe, making the other feel more conscious than usual.

Brittany turned so red, she had to avoid looking at Santana in embarrassment.

"Underwear?" Santana raised her left hand, waiting for Brittany to hand her what she just asked, like it was something that she ask for everyday.

"What?" Brittany squeaked.

"There's no point in drying off your clothes if you have wet underwear on. Come on, hustle." Santana impatiently explained.

Brittany remained stood agape at her.

"Do you mind taking it off now or do you want me to do it for you?"

"Uh..." Brittany cleared her throat.

"You've got towel on. And Maya's trying to get you some dry clothes to wear for the meantime. Don't be so worried. I'm not going to look. I bet everything you're trying to hide looks the same as the last time I saw them." Santana teased before winking at Brittany.

A black, lace underwear got thrown in Santana's direction, which she caught without so much of a problem.

"Oh, you're going to use that against me now?" Brittany looked flustered, silently wondering if their shared intimacy in the past meant nothing more than just that to Santana; just the past. The lawyer can joke about it now, talk about it so casually. And Brittany was a little confused as to how she felt about it.

"Well, it got you taking your underwear off, didn't it?" Santana grinned.

"What is this, foreplay? Did I interrupt something?" Santana's cousin Maya caught them in a rather awkward situation.

Again.

Completely ignoring Maya, Santana wordlessly walked out of the bedroom to dry Brittany's clothes. The door closed behind her.

"It's so much fun picking on her." Maya laughed. She then handed a pair of shorts and t-shirt to Brittany. "Sorry if it's not new, there's really not much clothes in this house anymore since nobody really lives here since our grandparents died. I hope it fits you."

"Thanks." Brittany gave her a grateful smile.

"So, can I ask you something?" Maya sat on the bed.

"Sure. Can I answer you while I dress? It's getting really cold." Brittany stood at the door to the bathroom, and Maya nodded. Brittany then closed the door behind her, and could hear Maya's voice from the other side of the door.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Maya asked.

"Not in a long time." Brittany didn't hesitate to answer.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I'm not really looking for one, I guess. I've been in a couple of relationships before, but, obviously, none of it really worked out well."

From where she sat, Maya could hear the movements from inside the bathroom.

"I think... there's only one person for each of us out there. And when you find that right one, you'll know that you're not supposed to let go... Maybe... I haven't found that one for me." Brittany then opened the bathroom door, now in Maya's old clothes.

"Haven't you?" Maya stared back into Brittany's eyes who held her stare for a short while before finally turning her eyes away, completely avoiding looking at Maya.

Brittany smiled.

"You know, I'm the exception to the general rule."

"Why?"

"Because I let it go. Because... I'm a coward."

There was a pause.

"Well, sometimes you have to find that courage and be brave. You don't want to find yourself one day, full of regrets." Maya smiled back and got up from the bed. As she walked towards the door, she stopped. "Falling for someone is the scariest thing that could happen to you, but it could also be the best thing, most especially when it is with the right one." And with those cryptic words, Maya left the bedroom.

It had been days.

Weird days without much communication or time spent with Santana, not that Santana had the obligation to. It was just that these past couple of weeks, Brittany had been used to Santana's company, and they were beginning to enjoy being friends again. On the other hand, there was a bit of an advantage that Santana had been busy with whatever she had been busy with. Brittany got to spend time with her family. She went to visit her grandparents in the neighboring town, and went shopping with her favorite sister, Hallie. She also got to catch up with her highschool friends. She met her bestfriend Ben's fiancee, and she threw a little party for some old friends from her former work.

Still, she wondered what Santana had been doing. Brittany could ask Kurt or Quinn but she felt too embarrassed. She could have asked Maya or Mychal, or Santana's mom, but she didn't really want to give people any idea.

And one boring Friday, she got that call from a highschool friend she wasn't expecting, and now, she was more than excited to go out. They had never seen each other for years and only had Facebook to communicate. So, when said friend messaged her that she was also back in the States, they decided to meet up. And now, here was Brittany, being led by her former cheerleader teammate, Katherine Randall, into the latter's beautiful house in one of the city's affluent areas.

"Brittany! It's so good to see you!" Katherine, aka Kate, gave her a big hug.

"So good to see you too! How have you been? I can't believe how long it's been." Brittany hugged the other blonde back. Kate was taller than her, but they could easily be mistaken as sister. They had a similar body built.

Back in highschool, they were co-captains of the cheerleading team. Brittany wouldn't call Kate her bestfriend, but they were really close.

"I hope you don't mind the mess. My girlfriend's here. She's not very organized." Kate playfully rolled her eyes at the mention of her girlfriend.

It was a surprise really, that after highschool, Kate admitted to being attracted to girls. They went to separate colleges, and Kate's interest on women became more than just attraction. She started dating them and got into relationships with them. On some level, Brittany envied her for having no qualms about taking chances and facing the consequences. There were times when Kate confided in her about the backlash in Kate's family. Kate's parents never accepted the kind of 'lifestyle' that she chose, and as far as Brittany knows, Kate had stopped communicating with them. But Kate was happy. She felt free.

And Brittany wondered if she would ever get the chance to feel the same way.

"Oh, no problem. She definitely wouldn't be the first of their 'specie' that I'd meet. I don't think there's someone who could be worse than that one I know." Brittany smiled at the thought of Santana's messy apartment unit.

"Can you wait here? I won't take long." Kate motioned for her to sit down on the couch, before climbing up the stairs. The two cheerleaders planned on spending the day together, catching up on each other's lives.

"Sure." Brittany placed her purse down the center table, before walking around, checking out every corner of the house. All of a sudden, she wished she had a place of her own. Maybe one day, she'd buy one, in Paris.

From where Brittany stood, she could hear Kate and her girlfriend speaking in hush tones and probably making out somewhere in the second floor of the house.

Awkward.

And she couldn't help but laugh. It sounded like Kate and her girlfriend couldn't get enough of each other. Well, who could blame them? They've been apart for too long.

Kate came running down the stairs a few minutes later. Brittany looked up and tried hard not to laugh upon seeing the smudged lipstick on her friend's face, which Brittany was nice enough to point it out.

More awkward.

Kate didn't realize what Brittany was trying to say, though.

"Sorry I took so long." Kate stood in front of her, looking so giddy.

"Uhm, you've got some..." Brittany cleared her throat, pointing at the part of her face near the lips.

"Huh?"

"Your lipstick is kind of..."

"Oh... OH! Sorry!" Laughing at herself, Kate ran to the nearest mirror and started wiping her lipstick with a tissue. Brittany laughed as well.

"I take it you missed each other so well, you couldn't last a minute without her?" Brittany teased her friend.

"You could say that."

"Do you want me to leave so you can spend some quality time together? We could do this another time, I'll be fine."

"Oh, as much as I want to spend the rest of my day naked with her, she says she has to go to work. Can you believe that?" Kate rolled her eyes.

"Hard-worker. I'm impressed."

"I'm not. I think I'd like her better if she's a tad lazy." Kate turned around to face Brittany again.

"I've never heard anyone else say that before." Brittany laughed. "You hated Ben when he wouldn't do his homework and just copy yours." Brittany reminded Kate. During highschool, Brittany's bestfriend Ben dated Kate. It was a relationship doomed from the start, but hey, it's highschool. Nothing was meant to last.

"Yeah, well, I never really cared much about Ben. No offense." Kate huffed, and Brittany shook her head in mock disappointment. "Santana's very passionate when it comes to her work." Kate sighed in defeat.

The name switched something on in Brittany's brain however, and she heard warning bells and saw red flags in her head.

_Did she just say...?_

"I get it." Kate continued, not noticing how Brittany's face turned a little pale. "I just want to feel a bit more important, you know. We've been dating for a year and we barely saw each other. Right now, I just want to spend time with her. But I guess I can't compete with work. Don't ever tell her I said that."

_Santana? Kate? Santana and Kate?_

"I'm not complaining. I guess that's what I get for being in a relationship with a lawyer." Kate smiled.

_Lawyer? Santana, Kate... Santana and Kate? _

Yes, Santana and Kate.

"Baby, have you seen my stilettos? I can't remember where I left them last night!" The voice came from upstairs. And Brittany noticeably grew stiff on where she stood. There was no way that particularly raspy quality of voice would belong to some other Santana.

Fortunately, Kate was busy blushing and shouting back at her girlfriend to notice Brittany's deer-caught-in-headlights look.

"Try the hallway!"

Sounds of footsteps in a hurry.

Beads of cold sweat on the side of Brittany's forehead.

An oblivious Kate enjoying as she listened to the sound of her girlfriend rushing to get to work.

And then there were footsteps again. This time it was getting nearer, and the discernible sound of expensive stilettos hitting the wooden second floor, then the stairs. Slowly, Brittany turned her head towards the direction of that sound, wondering whether Kate could hear the frantic beating of her heart, since it seemed to sound louder than the sound of Santana's four-inch high heels now. And when Santana finally descended the stairs, their eyes locked.

Time stopped.

"Baby, I want you to meet a really good friend of mine, this is-"

"Britt?" Santana looked surprised at first. She was confused on how and why Brittany was here. Well, Kate did mention something about a highschool friend coming over. Who would have thought that it would be Brittany? After she recovered from the shock, she gave the dancer a beautiful smile, who returned it.

"Uh..." Kate looked at her girlfriend, then to her friend, who finally broke eye contact. "You know each other?" Kate asked in confusion.

"Yeah. We're friends." Santana answered.

"Yes. Yes, we are." Brittany wished she didn't sound like she was trying too hard.

"Wow, that's perfect. I'm surprised, but that's great, right? My girlfriend and my good friend are already friends. I couldn't ask for more."

"Yeah. So, no need for introductions then, baby." Santana smiled at Kate, then reached for her hand.

The term of endearment made Brittany feel a little bit queasy, so she tried to suppress a groan.

Santana glanced at her watch. "I really have to go now."

"Really?" Kate seemed like she didn't want to let go of Santana's hand.

"We can have the rest of the weekend together." Santana reassured Kate, who smiled mischievously at her.

"Whatever." Kate smiled at her.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"You better." Kate then pulled Santana for a kiss.

And Brittany's head snapped to another direction as she forced herself to look away when her friend gave Santana what she assumed to be a deep, open-mouthed kiss. And for an agonizing moment, Brittany felt the twisting in her stomach getting even worse.

"I love you."

Brittany heard Kate say. And she didn't realize that she held her breath,as she waited for Santana to answer. She wasn't sure what she was expecting to hear, or wishing she wouldn't hear.

"I love you too."

She felt like she was punched right in the gut.

_I love you..._

It sounded like deja vu.

_I love you..._

Those three words, which Brittany thought was the most beautiful words she had ever heard someone utter, it sounded different now, it felt different.

This time, it wasn't for her.

"I'll see you later, Brittany." Santana said her goodbye to their unexpected guest, just as she caught Brittany's eyes when she turned to leave.

Santana's voice brought Brittany back, to Kate's house, with Kate and Santana.

And suddenly, she felt out of place.

"Britt?"

"What?"

"I said I'll see you soon." Santana smiled at her, amused.

"Yeah, sure." Brittany smiled back.

"Good to see you. Maya says hi." Santana walked to the front door, then waved at them before finally leaving.

Brittany didn't know how, but later she just found herself at the mall with Kate. She must have zoned out a little bit too long.

Kate was standing at a distance, talking to someone over her phone. She and Brittany bumped into Quinn and Kurt while they were shopping, who were hanging out together as well. They decided to share a table at Starbucks, and Quinn ordered coffee for each of them. And while she and Kurt enjoyed theirs, Brittany just seemed... lost.

"So, you're actually friends with Kate?" Quinn broke the ice. The distraction was effective, since Brittany looked like she was snapped from a very deep thought.

"Yeah. Small world, huh?" Brittany forced a smile. She had been so curious about Santana's mysterious girlfriend all this time, but aside from knowing the girlfriend's name, she never really asked about her. It would only be an awkward topic of conversation, and she wasn't really that sure if she wanted to know about the girlfriend. Katherine Randall did not even cross her mind. Just how many Kate's were there in LA anyway? If she knew that Santana's girlfriend was a pilot, that would have narrowed down the possibilities and maybe Brittany would have thought that Kate was actually her close friend, Katherine.

Brittany never thought nor imagined what or how she would react if she ever met Kate.

And now, having found out in the most awkward circumstance that her friend Kate was Santana's Kate, it just made her feel... strange. The thoughts of them together made her squirm again and Brittany just couldn't seem to figure out why.

"Very small." Kurt added.

Brittany threw a look at Kate's direction and it seemed like the pilot was not getting off the phone soon. Quinn discreetly watched Brittany over the lid of her cup of coffee.

"How did you meet Kate?" Quinn inquired.

"I met her before Santana. We went to highschool together." Brittany picked up her glass of caramel frappe and absentmindedly swirled the contents around.

"Highschool, huh?" Kurt exchanged looks with Quinn. They both observed how lost in thought Brittany seemed to be.

"We co-captained the cheerleading team."

"Oh, so Santana has a type." Quinn joked.

"Blonde cheerleaders. Preferably captains." Kurt snickered, but halted when Brittany gave him a warning look.

Santana probably didn't even know about Kate's friendship with Brittany. The assistant district attorney seemed genuinely surprised upon seeing her earlier that morning.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked with concern. Brittany turned in confusion, wondering why Quinn was asking her that.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Brittany played with the tissue dispenser in front of her, without even realizing it.

"Right, why wouldn't you be?" Quinn shrugged, all the while observing Brittany's behavior. Brittany stole a glance of her friend Kate, before turning her eyes back on to the tissue dispenser, the contents of which were being unconsciously wasted by her.

"I ran into Dave yesterday." Kurt's confession came out of nowhere. Quinn looked intrigued, and Brittany just stared.

"What's with the ex talk? I thought you have your eyes set on that cute curly Blaine guy we met at Santana's beach party. I like him. He seemed nicer than Dave." Quinn commented.

"Well, yes, I do like Blaine. Just... Dave looked great. He'd been working out, I think." Kurt smiled, more out of disbelief.

"Classic revenge trick. Work on making yourself look better so your ex would think breaking up with you was the worst mistake he or she ever made." Brittany shrugged. Up to this time, she managed to avoid looking straight at her friends eyes.

"I don't think breaking up with Dave was a mistake. It wasn't working. It's just..." Kurt let out an exasperated sigh. "Okay, fine, may be it made me wonder what it could have been if I had been a little more patient and forgiving. Truth is, I saw him with this good-looking guy, and they look like they were joking around and having fun, and..."

"Oh my God, you're jealous." Quinn's eyes twinkled with disbelief.

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you are." Quinn laughed.

"Well, how would you feel if you ran into your ex who actually looks genuinely happy with someone else?" Kurt glared at Quinn who didn't seem affected.

"You won't really know until you find yourself in that situation." Brittany joined in the conversation, but she still didn't seem to be in the same place though. She still had that far away look in her eyes. "Whether or not you still have feelings for your ex, it would always be awkward."

"I think I agree with you." Quinn said.

"I guess you're right. It's always painful to see that your ex can survive without you, that he's actually happy without you. It can mess up your brain though. How can you tell if the pain you feel is just a blow to your ego because he's able to find a replacement for you, or if it's a wake-up call, that despite that period of time believing you've moved on, you actually haven't moved an inch. That though you won't admit it, you still want to be with that person, because it's not just the same with anybody else." Kurt, in truth, was just really confused. That's the very reason why he brought this up after all, to get some enlightenment.

"You'll feel it." Brittany said with conviction.

"That's the thing. You don't know what it is that you feel. It's confusing." Kurt did feel something, but he couldn't really tell what it was.

"It's not."

"Well, you seem so in touch with yourself. Why don't you enlighten us a bit?" Kurt and Quinn's eyes were now both focused fascinated at her, well, maybe Kurt. Quinn was more curious.

This time, Brittany had left the tissue dispenser alone, and was now playing with her glass of frappe again, swirling the contents around.

"When you see your ex smile, do you remember the feeling when that smile was meant for you? Do you miss feeling that way? Do you feel a slight twinge in your heart when you realize that the smile you just saw wasn't meant for you anymore? That someone else, someone who isn't you was the reason behind that smile? When you see your ex holding someone else's hand, does it make you look back to those days when you could feel that same touch, the same warmth, and realize how your hands used to fit so perfectly? When you see your ex kiss someone else, or look at that new person in their life as if they couldn't see anyone else, does it rip your heart apart? Does it make you cry and want to run away? Does it drain you of all the strength that you have, and breaks you down, you couldn't get up?"

Brittany completely made sense, that's for sure. But she seemed to be in half-trance, which intrigued both Kurt and Quinn. And as soon as they noticed it, Brittany was snapped back into earth.

"If it makes you feel like shit, then you're probably still in love with him, Kurt. It isn't just ego." Brittany dismissively concluded.

"Ran into one of your ex's lately?" Quinn asked, not sugarcoating the suspicions in her voice.

"Not exactly." Brittany sighed first, before answering in almost a whisper.

A phone rang. Brittany reached for her purse and pulled out hers. She seemed elated to see who was calling and answered it with a smile, and talked to someone on the other line for a while, before hanging up, finding her two friends looking expectantly at her.

"Shit." Brittany muttered under her breath.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"I think I'm flying back to Veracruz." Brittany looked up at Quinn, then her eyes flickered to Kurt, and then to Quinn again. Quinn traced the helpless look in Brittany's usually unreadable eyes, but this time, the dancer couldn't fool her.

Brittany then turned to Kate's direction, who was still busy on the phone. Then she closed her eyes, silently asking God why in the world she just agreed with Maya to be a bridesmaid in the 30th wedding anniversary of Santana's aunt and uncle.

She had an inkling that it was a stupid, stupid decision...


	5. Theme Songs

**CHAPTER 5 THEME SONGS**

It was the worst flight ever.

Brittany never had qualms about flying before. Thinking about it, she loved flying. It was the best form of transportation ever invented. Fast, affordable, and it's comfortable. Well, until now. Maybe it was because of the slightly bumpy ride, there were too much cloud in the sky at that time. Or it could have been that annoying loud-mouth sitting behind her.

Or more possibly the fact that she had to be in the same flight as Santana and Kate. She had no choice. Maya booked all of their flights and paid for it.

Brittany closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Her two friends were seated on the other side of the aisle, just opposite her, silently and comfortably wrapped in each other's arms. When they were still at the airport, Kate just wouldn't stop talking. Brittany wanted her to shut up because for some unknown reason, she wasn't in the mood to chat and Kate's soft voice was giving her a headache. However, she felt immediately guilty for being annoyed at her friend for no particular reason at all, so she tried her best to keep her temper. Eventually, Kate got tired and fell asleep as soon as they got on the plane. Brittany had to sit here, separate from the lovebirds, and Santana gave her a reassuring smile before the plane went off.

She couldn't be more thankful when the plane finally landed. For reasons she probably would never admit, she couldn't stand to be in the same small space as Santana and Kate. It would have been fine if it was just Santana, or just Kate. But somehow, the sight of them together is just- something Brittany didn't feel so enthusiastic about.

Seeing Maya waiting for them at the airport was the best part of Brittany's day so far. Finally, she no longer felt like a third wheel.

It didn't take long before they reached the Torres beach property.

Brittany enjoyed lunch with Santana's family, as usual. The weather was nice and the day was rather uneventful. Every now and then, she got lost in her thoughts, confused as to her reaction towards her friends while they were still boarded at the plane. She knew that she was being unreasonable. She should be happy that Santana and her friend Kate seemed right for each other...

That's actually what bothered her.

Maya had been talking to her about dress adjustments and all other things but she none of it was sinking in. All Brittany could think of was the way Santana smiles when she looks at Kate and it's just…

It makes her stomach lurch, everytime.

"Ready to go?"

Maya's voice knocked her back to earth.

"Huh?" Brittany sure seemed out of it. Maya had noticed, but decided against prying. She could do that later.

Brittany's brow creased upon realizing that she and Maya were the only ones left in the table. Most of the family members had gone back to the main house, while the younger ones headed to the water to play some water sports.

"We really need to get your dress adjusted. While it looks like you and Kirsten are of the same height, I think there's a need to adjust the, uhm, you know, torso part." Maya smiled. She led the two of them back to the main house.

"Oh, right. I have smaller 'chest', got it." Brittany chuckled at her self-deprecating humor as they climbed the steps.

"Ha-ha. I left the car keys in my room. Wait downstairs." Maya hurriedly entered the door to the main house, leaving Brittany.

Brittany nodded.

As she entered the living room, she found Santana alone and sitting on the couch, eyes closed and her head buried in her hands. She looked as if she wanted to rip her hair out. Kate was surprisingly nowhere to be seen. She didn't notice them throughout lunch, but Brittany's mind was actually filled with thoughts of those two.

"Are you feeling okay?" Brittany approached Santana, sounding very concern.

Before Santana could look up, she felt Brittany's left hand touch the side of her head. When she finally did look up at Brittany, and her eyes locked with hers, she sat speechless.

"Santana?"

"Yeah, yeah, just a bad case of migraine." Santana smiled, looking flustered without knowing why. She felt the pain shot through her head again, making her wince. Brittany mirrored her expression after seeing the lawyer's reaction.

"You're definitely not okay then. Where's Kate?" Brittany looked around.

"In our bedroom trying to find my pain killers. I don't know what's taking her so long to find it."

'Our bedroom' sounds so intimate, making Brittany wonder whether the 'our' part pertains to her and Santana since she once shared that room with her, or Kate and Santana. The blonde pushed the thoughts away. She knew she shouldn't even entertain that.

"Alright. Let me help you." Brittany sat on the couch beside Santana, turning to face the lawyer.

"What, you have meds on your pocket again?" Santana turned to her as well, looking amused.

"Not this time, but I know something better. It will help soothe the pain." Brittany smiled. "Close your eyes." And Santana did as she was told, desperate to ease the pain she never got used to. She developed her migraine during her days at NYU Law. Taking in a deep breath and unconsciously biting her bottom lip, Brittany lifted both her hands, placing them at either side of Santana's head, making sure both her thumbs were placed on either side of Santana's temple. Santana looked confused but did not say anything. The expression on her face suddenly changed upon feeling Brittany's thumb moving in circles, massaging gently.

It was strange how a simple touch from Brittany could make Santana's heart beat frantically, just the way it was doing now.

"You can lie down if you want."

"Okay." Santana did so.

Brittany remained sitting on the couch, and when Santana was already comfortable, she continued massaging her temple. A smile formed in her lips upon noticing the change in Santana's expression. With the brunette's eyes still closed, Brittany could see the relief. Santana wasn't cringing or wincing from pain due to her migraine, at least for now.

She watched Santana's face as she massaged, now more like caressed, Santana's temple. Just a while ago, she heard a slight groan escape from the lawyer's mouth which brought her blushing. Then she heard the faint sound of snoring. Santana had fallen asleep. Brittany couldn't help but let out a short laugh, and without thinking twice, adjusted Santana's head to improve her breathing.

And Brittany stared. She stared as Santana peacefully drifted off to sleep. A strand of hair dangled in Santana's face and Brittany tucked it behind Santana's left ear, letting her fingers linger on the side of Santana's face, wondering what Santana was currently dreaming about.

"What did you do to her?"

Kate's joking voice almost made her jump from her seat. Brittany, relieved that she was able to retain her composure, got up from the couch and turned to her friend with a smile, hoping that she didn't look as guilty as she felt.

"Just some massage therapy." Brittany answered. Kate then walked towards them and sat on the same space of the couch where Brittany was sitting just a while ago.

"Looks quite effective. So this wouldn't be needed then." Kate threw the pad of pain killers to the coffee table. "You're gonna have to teach me how to do that." She smiled gratefully at the dancer.

"Well, the next time she gets a migraine, you can help her ease the pain by gently massaging her temple. You can forego with the meds. My method works better, believe me."

"Thanks. I'll make sure to remember that."

Both turned upon hearing the footsteps coming from the stairs. That's when Brittany saw Maya coming down.

"I guess we're going." Brittany told Kate.

"Where?" Kate asked curiously, while her right hand made its way to Santana's hair to caress them lovingly.

Brittany's eyes flickered at Kate's small gesture. Her mind suddenly made a trip down memory lane, back to those days when she could still do that same thing to Santana.

At that moment, she felt envious.

"The bridal shop. They are making adjustments on Kirsten's gown which I will be wearing. I'm the substitute, remember?" Brittany continued. Kirsten who was attending college in Massachusetts had to skip the wedding for an important exam and Brittany was the 'lucky one' to fill her in.

"Okay. Be safe. Come back before the bonfire." Kate smiled at Maya who was walking towards them.

"We'll be back by then." Maya smiled back. She then headed to the door with Brittany.

The bridal shop which was twenty minutes away from the beach house was really big, probably the biggest in Veracruz. Brittany looked impressed, and Maya led her inside where she was introduced to the designer, Juana, who made the clothes for everyone in the wedding entourage. The designer, who seemed very pleasant, merely looked her up and down, took her chest measurement and did not bother with the rest, before excusing herself to do some adjustments in what was going to be her bridesmaid dress.

"Just like that?" Brittany sat beside Maya on the expensive-looking couch at the waiting area.

"Juana's really good. Don't worry." Maya gave her a reassuring look. She then grabbed a bridal magazine rested on top of a small center table and flipped through the pages.

Brittany, on the other hand, looked around, admiring the beautiful interior design of the shop and observed a couple, probably another of Juana's clients, happily whispering at each other as they walked around, checking out the wedding gowns and tuxedo displays.

"They look excited." Brittany remarked.

"Who?" Maya tore her eyes away from the magazine she was browsing and followed Brittany's gaze. She saw the couple her friend was staring at. "Oh, them. Of course they are excited, they're getting married." Maya assumed, then turned curiously at Brittany. "Wouldn't you be if you were getting married?"

"Big IF."

"Don't you want to?" Maya raised an eyebrow.

"Right now, no."

"And in the future?" Maya placed the magazine down her lap, focusing all her attention on Brittany.

Brittany paused to think before answering.

"Are we gonna go back to that 'right one' talk again?"

"So this all goes down to the 'right one'?" Maya quoted, motioning with her right and left index and middle fingers.

"Of course. I sure wouldn't settle down with the wrong one."

"But you could barely hold on to the 'right one'. You're too scared. Why?"

Brittany avoided looking at Maya, which the latter noticed. Letting out a deep sigh, Brittany casually replied in a dismissive manner.

"I'm concentrated on being just a bridesmaid for now."

"You can just say that you don't want to talk about it." Maya said, still watching Brittany. Brittany did not say anything more. "You know, this whole mystery about your love life just feeds my curiosity even more."

Brittany did not respond, pretending to be busy reading the magazine Maya was browsing over a while ago. Maya then decided to just drop it and grabbed another magazine for herself.

"I'm sorry if I'm a little bit nosy."

"A little?" Brittany sounded amused.

"Fine, maybe a bit too much."

"It's okay."

Maya refrained from prying further. She had her suspicions. While the need to ferret out the truth was something that she really wanted to do, she couldn't bring herself to pester Brittany with more questions. The blonde looked like she always had something on her mind. She figured that Brittany would open up to her, when ready. In the short time they had known each other, they had developed this genuine friendship that she didn't want to ruin by being too snoopy.

"Maya?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever regretted making a decision that you still believe to be right?"

"If it's right, why would you regret it?"

"You can try it on now." The designer came back before Brittany could answer, holding the beautiful bridesmaid dress for them to see. Brittany got up from her seat and followed the designer to the dressing room to change.

Since meeting Brittany, Maya was intrigued about Brittany's real relationship with her cousin. While they insisted that they were just friends, her psychological skill told her that there was more to their actions than what they were telling. She knew she shouldn't be prying, especially now that she had met Kate who seemed to be a very nice girlfriend, but somehow, being who she was, she couldn't contain her need to know.

When Brittany came out wearing the adjusted bridesmaid dress, Maya's jaw dropped.

"Wow, you're hot!"

Brittany felt very conscious and at the same time, flustered with the compliment.

"Uhm, thanks?"

"Perfect. That's perfect. Thanks so much, Juana." Maya got up from her seat as well.

"No problem. It didn't take a lot of adjustments." Juana smiled, glad that her client was satisfied. "I'll see you at the wedding. You know where to change, right? I just have to attend to my other clients." Juana referred to the excited couple the two noticed a while ago.

"Thank you so much." Brittany was grateful.

"You're welcome." Juana then left them and headed to the direction of the couple.

"Wow." Maya couldn't help but say again, looking at her friend up and down.

Brittany rolled her eyes.

"You can stop trying to help me curb my insecurities now."

"Insecurities? Why would you be insecure? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You should start wearing bridesmaid dresses everyday." Maya joked, which got Brittany laughing.

"I don't think I would be allowed to wear this to work."

"Well, you could ask." Maya glanced at her watch. "As good as you look on that dress right now, we don't want to overuse it before my parents' wedding. We still have a lot of errands to do."

"I'll go get changed then." Brittany turned to head back to the dressing room.

"I can't wait to see Santana's reaction when she sees you in that dress." Maya grinned, her arms crossed.

Stopping on her tracks, Brittany turned to face Maya again.

"Maya..." Brittany looked pleadingly at Maya.

"Hey, I'm just curious. Single or not single, I know my cousin's Achilles heel: gorgeous, hot blonde girls."

"Just... let's avoid giving anyone the wrong idea, okay?"

"Okay." Maya shrugged.

Brittany disappeared at the direction of the dressing room. Maya sat back on the couch and waited.

It took them a bit longer before they finished Maya's errands, but they got back in time for the bonfire.

Mychal and a group of Santana's cousins which included Maya, Marcus, John, Mateo and Margie, with Brittany, Santana and Kate were gathered around the bonfire, sitting on logs. Kate seemed to have hit it off with everyone, and Santana was thankful. When Maya said before that it would be hard to impress the family after they met Brittany, Santana knew that was true. She was slightly fearful that they wouldn't like Kate especially when Brittany was there to compare Kate with. Thank God for Kate's charming personality, she won them over.

Santana had a feeling they would still prefer Brittany over her girlfriend, though.

Now that she was here, curled up with her girlfriend and holding her hand, while her cousins and Brittany were having fun singing as Mateo played the guitar, she didn't want to bother herself thinking about it. She watched as some of her cousins make some smores on top of the bonfire.

"So, how about you Brittany? What do you want to sing?" Mateo's voice suddenly snapped Brittany out of her daze.

"Me? Uh, no, please. I don't sing."

"Yes, she does." Santana and Kate spoke at the same time, and they giggled.

The silliness and not to mention lameness, almost got Brittany rolling her eyes. She had to force herself not to look at Santana's direction.

"I'm not that good." Brittany said humbly.

It was Kate who rolled her eyes this time.

"Oh please. She was in our highschool's glee club. They won, like, every year since Brittany joined their team." Kate told everyone.

"I was a back-up." Brittany felt the need to clear that up.

"You're a cheerleader and a glee clubber?" Maya looked in disbelief.

Brittany nodded in confirmation.

"Talk about breaking stereotypes. I thought that doesn't happen in highschool." Mychal grinned at Brittany.

"She's so talented, boys fall at her feet." Kate added.

"I'm not surprised if they still do now." Marcus was giving Brittany that trademark charming smile of his, causing the blonde to feel a bit self-conscious.

Santana winced upon noticing. Was her cousin trying to get his flirt on with Brittany? The thought made her want to jump out of her skin.

"Come on Brittany, just one song." Marcus gave Brittany that puppy-dog look which just confirmed that he was, indeed, flirting with the dancer. Her playboy cousin, who was a doctor, had no game at all.

Santana wanted to puke.

"Okay. But Kate goes next." Brittany playfully glared at her highschool buddy.

"Fine. Show them what you got, my friend." Kate grinned at her.

Brittany then whispered something to Mateo who was sitting next to her. Mateo nodded and began plucking the chords of his guitar. Santana did not know what the song was at first, but as the playing progressed, her eyes narrowed at Brittany for her song choice.

It was Songbird.

And suddenly, everybody was quiet as they listened to Brittany belt out the first verse of the song. Santana's expression hardened. Of all the songs she could choose, Brittany chose this particular one. Staring at Brittany, she tried to catch the blonde's eyes, more elusive than ever. Maybe Kate didn't notice, but the whole time Brittany was singing, Santana was tensed.

"_And I wish you all the love in the world, but most of all, I wish it from myself,"_ During that last verse of the song, Brittany's eyes flickered for a moment to meet a pair of brown ones staring at her, unblinking, before turning her gaze away again.

"_And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score, and I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before, like never before..."_

As Mateo dramatically finished strumming the chords as the song concluded, Maya couldn't help but feel proud at this newly-discovered talent of Brittany.

"Oh my God! You're so good!" Maya hugged Brittany.

Brittany, on the other hand, felt embarrassed.

"Please, I was average."

Santana was smiling. But still, she couldn't help but wonder about Brittany's song choice. Was it deliberate? Yes, it was just a song. But that song is more than just a song for the both of them.

"We should add that to my parents' wedding song list." Mateo suggested.

Santana's eyes snapped at Mateo's direction.

"What? No, that's-" Santana was interrupted before she could finish.

"That was very romantic. I liked it. I'm sure Mama would love to hear that as well. I'm placing it on the list. You were saying something, Santana?" Maya asked.

Santana shifted her gaze from Maya, to Mateo, to Brittany, whom she found was looking questioningly at her.

"Nothing, I... Whatever." Santana shrugged. It looked like her cousins had already decided and what could she possibly say to sway them not to include that song in her aunt and uncle's wedding song list?

"Told you she was talented." Kate playfully stuck her tongue out at Brittany who returned the gesture.

"Shut up, Kate. It's your turn."

"Yeah, yeah. Hey Mateo, do you know that Andrew Gold song, Never Let Her Slip Away?" Kate asked.

"Of course."

"Hit it."

"_I talked to my baby on the telephone, long distance, I never would have guessed I could miss someone so bad, yeah, I really only met her 'bout a week ago but it doesn't seem to matter to my heart I know that I love her, I'm hoping that I'd never recover, she's good for me, I know it's gonna make me happy, to never let her slip away..."_

It was a fun song. Santana's cousins even sang with Kate. Brittany just watched. She watched the way Santana laughed at her girlfriend's crazy antics. Even Brittany couldn't suppress a smile when both Mateo and Kate got up from their seats and started dancing while performing the song. Eventually, Marcus and John joined in, with Marcus pulling her to her feet. They danced like there was no tomorrow, and when the song finished, everybody kept laughing.

"An interesting song." Maya commented after Kate finished singing.

"Santana never mentioned how great of a singer you are." Margie complimented Santana's girlfriend.

Truth was, Santana never mentioned Kate at all. And for a moment, Santana felt like prick after just realizing that.

"Thanks. I get that a lot." Kate grinned.

"So, why that song?" John asked.

"That's our theme song, fits us perfectly, right babe?" Kate pulled Santana closer and kissed her on the cheek.

That term of endearment again. Somehow, Brittany wished the night would just end.

"That's so tacky. We don't have a theme song." Santana grumbled in embarrassment.

"We still don't know how you two met." Marcus turned his curious eyes at Santana.

Seriously, was Marcus out to get her today because this particular cousin of hers was not one of her favorites right now. She just didn't want to go there. But before Santana could steer the conversation away, Kate was fast to answer.

"We actually met on the plane. I was working and Santana was coming back home from Paris."

"Paris?" Maya raised an eyebrow, fighting the urge to turn a curious eye at Brittany.

"She looked so sad and seeing her like that broke my heart. I didn't even know her and I immediately felt a connection with her. For some unexplainable reason, I felt this need to comfort her, you know, at least try to make her smile."

"Why were you so sad?" Margie had never heard of this story before, and was just really curious.

"Why wouldn't you be when you just lost the love of your life?" Kate answered for her girlfriend who didn't seem happy at the revelation.

From where she sat, Brittany felt her heart pounding hard against her chest.

"Love of your life? I'm curious." Maya turned her suspicious eyes at Santana.

"Oh my God, your cousins didn't know?" Kate looked at Santana in surprise. Santana obviously didn't want to talk about it, but there's no stopping now. Her girlfriend just opened the gates, and there's no way of closing it.

"I didn't want everyone to feel sorry for me." Santana kept avoiding everyone's stare.

"I thought you were there because of work." John said.

"I lied."

"So who was she?" Maya asked, her eyes drifting briefly at Brittany's direction. She had suspicions from the start. Were they about to be confirmed?

"Why do you have to know?" Santana glared at Maya.

"Wouldn't you feel the same if someone told you I've found the 'love of my life'?"

"Not exactly my words. She was just someone I was in love with. WAS." The words tasted bitter on the tip of Santana's tongue.

Brittany felt like someone just plunged a knife on her heart.

"Tell us about her. That's if Kate wouldn't mind." Maya couldn't help her curiosity anymore.

"Oh I don't. I'm actually dying to know every little detail." While it had been years since they first met, Kate couldn't help but feel like Santana was still hiding something. Santana, up to now, never mentioned anything about that girl in Paris. Sometimes, she wished Santana would open up and talk to her about that part of her life. She wondered who it was, what the girl was like, what she did for work, and why Santana was so heartbroken over her.

"I thought we agreed _never_ to talk about her." Santana avoided looking at Brittany's direction, as if she'd get caught if she does.

"Baby, I never said that."

"She belongs in my past. You don't need a reason to get jealous of her."

"I wouldn't. I actually think I should thank her because now I have you. She's probably regretting how stupid she had acted." Kate grinned. Then she held on tighter to Santana's hand.

_Ouch._

Santana let out a defeated sigh. Feeling her cousins' eyes on her, she decided to cut to the short, wholesome, edited version.

"I thought we had something, so I followed her to Paris. I was wrong. End of story."

"Have you met her?" Kate turned to Brittany, who looked like she was suddenly caught off-guard.

"What?" Brittany almost swallowed her own tongue.

"You were in Paris."

"I don't... I don't know her." The dancer wished Kate didn't notice the tremble in her voice.

"Just leave it alone. Britt doesn't know anything. She didn't even know I was in Paris when I went there."

And right there, Santana was caught in her own lie.

Mychal and Maya both turned their attention to Brittany, who looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"You followed a girl to Paris? Wow, that's expensive." Margie said.

"I realized first hand that people do stupid things when they thought they're in love." Santana replied in a dismissive manner.

"Santana, I didn't know you're a hopeless romantic." Mychal narrowed his eyes at his sister.

"I'm not hopeless romantic. Just hopeless. Apparently, I wasn't good enough." Santana tried to salvage what's left of her badass rep, speaking in the most nonchalant way possible.

"Is that what she said?" Brittany asked, which surprised Santana. Brittany had been quiet the whole conversation and decided to join in now. Santana managed to recover from her shock, and tried to keep a straight face.

"What?"

"Did she tell you that you weren't good enough?" Brittany just couldn't help it. She tried to remove herself from the conversation at first but it felt personal. She felt the need to defend herself despite the fact that nobody really knew that she was the girl in Paris.

"No, but I think if I were to explain what happened, that explains it in a sentence." Santana seemed convinced.

"Kate would agree with me when I say that you're more than enough. Maybe that's the reason. Maybe she thinks you're too good for her. Maybe she feels that it was her who wasn't good enough for you."

There was undeniable tension there. If Kate noticed, she didn't let it show. Brittany and Santana stared at each other, neither wanting to give up. But it was Santana who started laughing, and Brittany's forehead creased into a frown.

"That was funny."

"No. I think that makes sense. You're perfect, babe." Kate smiled at Santana.

"See?" Brittany forced a smile at Santana.

"Well, I think that's a lame excuse _someone_ has to make to help them sleep at night." The biting tone was meant for Brittany, the blonde dancer was quite sure of it.

"Ouch." Maya mouthed.

"Maybe she didn't reject you. Maybe she wasn't ready for you." Brittany continued in her defense. She wasn't going to let Santana jump into baseless conclusions as to things she didn't know about.

Especially about the reasons why they never got to the next level of their relationship.

"Why are you defending her? Are you _her _lawyer now?"

"Because all these years, you've always looked at what happened like there's only one side to it. Your side. What about her side, her reasons? Maybe she wasn't such an insensitive jerk after all."

"Maybe I would know if _she_ would tell me."

The dagger looks Santana and Brittany were throwing against each other were about to get out of control. One more second of it, Maya knew things are going to get even more complicated.

Maya noticed Kate starting to look suspicious.

"So how did you two get together?" Maya purposely steered the topic away.

Santana, suddenly aware that she and Brittany weren't the only people around, tore her fierce eyes away from Brittany. Ignoring the tension, she turned her attention to her cousin, and pretended not to notice the questioning look her girlfriend was giving her.

"Us? I pursued her. I wouldn't stop until she gave me her number. We hung out when I wasn't working. I made sure that she knew that I'm really attracted to her. Most of the time that I tried to make her laugh, I miserably failed. I'm not a very funny person I guess." Kate then wrapped her arms around Santana's waist and leaned her head against the brunette's shoulder.

Santana smiled, while Brittany stared at the bonfire.

"She's very persistent." Santana added.

"Oh, you liked it. You like being pursued."

"What can I say, you still managed to look cute when you're acting like a fool."

"And you fell for it. It took a long time, but you fell for it."

"Love or career?" Maya asked out of nowhere.

"Really, Maya?" Mateo winced at his sister.

"Just curious." Maya shrugged.

"I don't think it's fair to choose." Brittany said softly.

"I agree with Britt. No one should be forced to choose." Santana was still trying to get Brittany to look at her, but it looked like the blonde was more interested poking the fire with her stick now.

Where did she even get that stick?

"Right. Of course you'd say that Santana. You have both." Marcus reached for Mateo's guitar and played with the chords.

"Well, that's true."

"But if you have to, what if you can't have both, which one would you choose?" Maya was only interested in hearing Santana's answer.

"Love." Santana did not even have to think.

"Wow. You didn't even hesitate." Maya's eyes shifted briefly at Brittany who didn't seem comfortable at all.

"I chose love once. I had my heart broken over it and I didn't realize love has to choose you as well, but... If I have to, I'll choose love again. I've had a wonderful career without love and you know what I realized? It means nothing if you have no one to share it with." Santana turned lovingly at Kate, making Brittany's stomach churn at the sight.

"Ugh, Santana, you're such a sap." Marcus threw a piece of marshmallow at Santana.

The lawyer picked it up where it fell on the sand and threw it back to Marcus, who just laughed as the marshmallow hit him on his forehead.

"So you'd be okay even if you're not successful, as long as you have love? No offense, Kate." Marcus turned to Kate.

"None taken." Kate giggled.

"As long as I get to wear my favorite stilettos, I'd be fine." Santana joked.

"I'll choose you too." Kate turns to Santana and kissed her.

Brittany wished she could just run. She then felt Maya's eyes at her, and when she turned, there was that reassuring smile. As much as the blonde wanted to return it, her facial muscles were too stubborn to even obey.

It was almost 9:00 p.m. when the group dispersed. Some went inside the main house to eat dinner and the others, Brittany had no idea about. She was sitting on the stairs at the front porch, looking at the sea. But the truth was, her eyes just kept on going back to Santana and Kate who were still cuddled by the bonfire. She could just walk back into the house, to rid herself of this painful sight, but she couldn't. She remained plastered on the stairs, and it took all of her energy to stop herself from crying.

She didn't even understand why she wanted to cry.

"Oh, they're so sweet... It makes me want to puke." Maya whispered with a wince at the sight of her cousin and her girlfriend. Brittany chuckled after realizing who was standing behind her.

Brittany scooted a bit when Maya then sat down beside her.

"Isn't that how love is supposed to be?" Brittany whispered, but it was loud enough for Maya to hear.

"What, vomit-inducing?"

Brittany did not say anything. She just continued looking at Santana, who seemed content and happy.

"Do you really think my cousin loves her?"

"Of course. Look at Santana's eyes. She's happy." The sound of her deep sigh didn't escape Maya's ears.

Maya discreetly studied Brittany.

"You have nothing else to do, right? 'Coz we're going downtown to get really wasted and I strongly suggest that you come along." Maya got up and extended her hand to Brittany.

The dancer stared at her hand for a while, before taking it. Maya helped her up.

"Sounds like fun." Brittany let herself be pulled by Maya, but not without throwing one last, sad look at the happy couple's direction.

She let Santana go because she wanted her to be happy with someone who had no problems letting people know that they're in love. That's what she had always wanted. And now, seeing Santana happy with Kate, she couldn't say she felt the same.

Brittany found herself with Santana's cousins dancing the night away and drinking non-stop at this hip Veracruz club called La Bartola. No one was getting tired, but Brittany had to take a break and here she was with Maya, and they remained seated at their table, watching the others hit on some cute females at the bar.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Hmm... Drunk already, aren't you?" Maya turned to her, looking amused.

"Just tipsy..."

"Okay. Shoot." Maya was all ears.

"Was there ever a time in your life that you had to let go of someone, you know, that you might have fallen in love with?"

"Might have?" Maya raised an eyebrow.

"Or, you know, someone you do love..." Brittany avoided looking straight at Maya's eyes.

"Are we talking about romantic love here?"

Brittany, slightly blushing, answered with a nod.

"Yes." Maya confessed, with a rather disappointed sigh.

"So... How did you do it?"

"Well, no one would say that letting go of someone you love is easy. It's the hardest thing a person would have to do. But you know, nothing in this life is so simple. Nothing is that black and white. I had to make a decision, and I'm telling you, the worst part was having to fight with myself. But it was for the best. I can't keep holding on to someone who did nothing but to hurt me. Love wasn't enough anymore."

"Was it hard, letting go?"

"It's a struggle. The reason that he kept on causing me pain made it bearable. I chose to leave him because it was the best thing that I could do for myself. I've given him so many chances, but he wasted all of them. So, I kicked him into the curb, and I never heard from him again. So cheers." Maya lifted her glass of beer and drank half of it. Yeah, didn't really want to be reminded of that.

"What if the person that you let go didn't do anything wrong? What if that person was the most amazing person you've ever met, did nothing to hurt you, but to love you, and did everything to make you happy?"

From the darkness, Maya could see the pool of tears forming in Brittany's eyes, but the latter managed to wipe away soon before it could fall. The use of gender-neutral pronouns didn't go unnoticed.

"Then I don't see why you would let that person go."

Brittany stared at the direction of the dance floor. She would have laughed upon seeing Mateo try to do a dance move when he obviously could not dance. But she didn't seem to have the energy to smile right now.

"So, is this you or the alcohol doing some deep introspection?"

"I was just... It just crossed my mind."

"Yeah. Right."

"It's a hypothetical question." Brittany sounded defensive.

"Well, if, _hypothetically_, I stupidly let go of this amazing person that I _might have fallen in love_ _with_ who did nothing but to make me happy, and if this person actually makes me happy, then, I probably would start praying to all of the saints and appeal to God to forgive me for being such an idiot and that I be given a second chance with this person, though I probably don't deserve it. Or I shall forever suffer..." Maya ended dramatically.

"What if you don't get that chance, or even if you do, you don't take it because you're too afraid of what other people would say?"

"Then that's probably the biggest mistake that you could ever do."

Brittany knew how right Maya was. How simple this all sounded. And she hated herself for still being so damn scared.

"You know, I might have been wrong when I said that nothing in this life is so simple, because some things actually are. If you love someone this much to make you rethink of the things you have done, may be this person is worth it. And maybe, just maybe, God will give you that second chance. Don't waste it. I think you've made the wrong decision in the past. I may not be a psychic, but I'm not stupid. Just know that I understand how hard this must have been for you, and maybe in one way or another, I understand what you're going through."

Brittany did not say anything. She picked up her glass of liquor and sipped from it, without bothering to throw a look at Maya.

"This is about Santana, isn't it?"

Finally, Brittany turned in surprise. How did Maya even know about Santana?

"You were that girl, the love of her life. It was you." Maya had to voice out what she had been suspecting all along.

From the very first time that she met Brittany, she knew something was up. The connection between the person before her and her cousin wasn't just a pigment of her imagination; it was real. It was so real that she felt it just by looking at them sitting side by side at that lunch table during their first lunch together.

"Not her words. I was just someone she was in love with. WAS." Brittany bitterly echoed Santana's own words.

"You broke her heart." Maya remembered.

She had liked Brittany from the start. But realizing now that the girl in front of her was the very person who caused so much of Santana's heartache, she was torn as to how she should feel. Blood was thicker than water, there's no doubt that she'd fight for her cousin's happiness. But at the same time, she knew she didn't know the whole story. So far, she had only heard Santana's side. And from the few things that she learned from her lawyer cousin, you can only thresh out the truth by hearing all sides. And she was willing to give her new friend the benefit of the doubt.

"Yes. But now we're even. Now she's crushing mine." Brittany emptied her glass of liquor. But that certainly wasn't going to be her last for the night.

It was past midnight and the house was still empty of her cousins that Santana couldn't sleep. Kate had been in their room sleeping for hours now, but Santana just couldn't. So, she took a book and went to the living room to read it since Kate couldn't sleep with the lights on. At about 2 o'clock, she heard the sound of the car outside, and the voices at the door.

Santana waited as she listened to the muffled conversation outside.

"Why isn't anyone opening the door?" Mateo was trying not to sound too drunk, but actually, he was.

"Don't you live here?" Brittany asked. She was currently leaning against Marcus, who had his arms around the blonde so she wouldn't fall.

Mateo snickered.

"No, I don't. We just-"

The door suddenly opened, and Mychal, who was leaning his back against the door since he was probably the most drunk of them all, fell on the floor.

"What the-" Santana trailed off upon seeing Brittany's state, who was half-awake and grinning stupidly, on Marcus's arms.

"Aww..." Mychal groaned and tried to get up from the floor.

Brown eyes zeroed in on one of Marcus's clammy hands sliding too low at Brittany's back. Santana totally ignored her brother and even walked past him towards Brittany. It was Mateo who went to help his cousin up.

"Brittany?"

Upon hearing that distinct raspy voice, Brittany's eyes lit up. Her eyes found the concerned brunette and she stumbled on the stairs to get to her. Santana made it in time to catch her and she glared at her cousins who were laughing maniacally behind her friend.

"You got her drunk?" She raised an eyebrow at them.

"Oh, blaming it on us, huh? It's not like we forced her to. She wanted to drink. We went out to get wasted, that was the point." Maya retorted.

"She has low tolerance for alcohol!"

"How are we supposed to know that? And what's your problem? She's an adult. She can drink whatever she wants and how much she wants. Stop acting like her pissed-off girlfriend." Marcus attempted to help Santana with Brittany, but the lawyer swatted his arm away.

"Just get out of my face or I may not be able to control myself and forget that I'm related to all of you." Santana pointed a warning finger at Marcus.

"Wow, you're one scary girlfriend. I wonder if Brittany had any idea. I better let her know tomorrow. That's if I'd even remember." Maya gave Mychal a high five and they all waledk past Santana, laughing their stupid asses off.

"I'll take her to her bedroom." Marcus volunteered. This time, Brittany was sharing with Maya.

"You're still here? Get out of here, Marcus. You _don't_ get to touch her."

"But-"

"Out of my face, Marcus."

Marcus knew he wasn't going to win, so he left and went to bed. Santana then led Brittany to the living room and sat her on the couch. She sat beside the blonde.

"Do you want anything?"

"Yeah..." Brittany slurred.

"What is it?"

"I don't think I deserve it..." Brittany's droopy eyes locked with Santana's.

"Do you want to eat something? Do you want some water?"

"No..."

"Do you want me to take you to bed?"

Brittany snickered. Santana raised an eyebrow, wondering what was so funny about what she just said.

"Britt?"

"You've got some guts, don't you, Lopez? I would have said yes if Kate isn't my friend, you know... Maybe if she isn't here..." Brittany gave Santana that sexy look which almost made Santana fall down from the couch.

Santana, on the other hand, looked flustered after realizing that Brittany had taken her question the wrong way. Then her face turned even redder when Brittany's words finally sunk in.

Did the blonde just admit she'd sleep with her (again) if Santana wasn't in a relationship with Kate?

"Oh, uhm, I wasn't... uh, I didn't mean... I wasn't asking you to... I was just..." Santana was a stuttering mess and almost slapped her own forehead. She let out a deep sigh, chastising herself for being a little bit affected by Brittany's flirty, drunken slurs. "Do you need HELP getting into bed?"

"From you?" Brittany pointed out.

"Well, I'm the sober one, so, yeah."

"Hmm..." Brittany leaned back, closing her eyes, as if pondering whether to accept Santana's offer of help or not.

"So, bed?"

"Stop saying bed..." Brittany opened her eyes and leaned forward, grabbed a hold of the front of Santana's tank top, pulled the Latina closer and leaned her face closer at the same time which caught the lawyer off-guard.

It felt like the air was knocked out of her chest as Santana felt Brittany's hot breath on her face, and smelled the liquor on her breath.

A pair of stunning blue eyes locked with a pair of browns.

Santana swallowed. Hard. She tried to blink away the swirling in her stomach. Drunk Brittany was a dominant Brittany. And dominant Brittany was kind of scary.

And sort of hot.

Santana cleared her throat.

"The last thing I need right now is to hear YOU talking about BED... YOU and BED are kind of... off-limits..." Brittany pointed out as she slightly tapped the left side of Santana's face with her right hand.

Obviously, Brittany and alcohol didn't mix well. It turned Brittany into this flirty, unpredictable blabber.

"Do you even realize how _adorkable_ you are when you're wearing those reading glasses? You're so cute." Brittany giggled.

Santana realized she is in fact still wearing her reading glasses.

Then Brittany pulled on harder at Santana's tank top, and just in time, the brunette was able to turn her face away as Brittany puckered her lips and kissed her. Santana sort of shivered when that familiar pair of lips made contact with her right cheek.

The blonde was too drunk to even realize that she didn't hit her original target.

"You're really drunk, aren't you?" Santana made sure to pull her face away from Brittany's as fast as possible. The girl was seriously driving her crazy at the moment.

Not the first time.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Brittany smiled goofily and then licked her lips.

Santana got a little distracted, then managed to bring her eyes back to Brittany's face.

"If I have to carry you just to get you to your, uh," Santana thought of a word other than 'bed' to avoid another awkward reaction from Brittany, and found it soon enough. "room, then I'm just gonna have to do it."

"I don't want to lie down... I'll just stay here..." Brittany leaned back on the couch, and Santana let herself watch her for a while.

"Fine. I'll stay here with you."

"I'm not a baby, San... You don't have to stay with me."

There was a short silence before Santana spoke again.

"I just want you to know that what you said back there was bullshit."

"Hmm?"

"Why did you have to say that? What was that _'maybe it was her who wasn't good enough for you'_ crap? You were the one that hurt me, it wasn't the other way around."

"You always think that you're the only one with feelings..."

"Is this how it's always gonna be between us? We don't talk about it, but it's not my decision. You get an opportunity to confront me and you just pounce on it? And in front of my family and my girlfriend when you know I couldn't confront you back? That wasn't fair."

"You are so, stupid..." Brittany snickered.

"Excuse me?"

"Some people are not as good as you with words... Sometimes, you just have to understand and see what they do and not expect them to say what they couldn't say..."

"But I don't understand what you do, Britt... I don't understand what they mean, and what you want."

When Santana looked at Brittany, the blonde was already sleeping on the couch. Santana sighed. The first time that they really talked about their feelings and Brittany had to be drunk and her, in a relationship.

Kate stirred in her bed at around 4 a.m. and found that she was alone. She knew that Santana left their room to read, but she wondered whether her girlfriend had fallen asleep while reading. Needing a glass of water anyway, she got up and headed for the kitchen, but before reaching her destination, she found people sleeping side by side on the couch: a head of brunette hair was rested against a head of blonde.

Brittany had fallen asleep on Santana's shoulder.

It would have been fine. Kate was never jealous. But curiosity got the best of her and she couldn't help but get a closer look. And as she got nearer her girlfriend and her close friend, she saw Santana's hand on top of Brittany's. It may have been done unconsciously, since Santana's right hand was merely on top of Brittany's left; they weren't necessarily holding hands.

But somehow, Kate felt like a third wheel.


	6. The Cruise

**CHAPTER 6 THE CRUISE**

When morning arrived and Maya told her they were going rafting, all Brittany could say was 'fuck'.

She had a massive hang-over. And as much as she wanted to skip the rafting thing, she couldn't bring herself to say no. It was after all, her fault, that Santana's cousins included this trip to the Filo-Bobos River in their free time itinerary. She mentioned to Maya once that she wanted to get her hands on white-water rafting one of these days.

Too bad it had to be the day when she was hung over.

And fate must've hated her because she found herself in the same car driven by Santana, with Kate on the front seat. Her head was pounding as she listened to Maya giving her and Kate a short lecture on the basics of rafting.

"I guess that's it. That's all you need to know." Maya concluded.

Brittany did not really understand anything. She just gave Maya a wince as the blonde felt the flash of pain in her head. She already got her hands on a couple of painkillers but they were not working, and the soothing technique she used on Santana the day before wasn't really meant for hangovers.

"Lightweight." Santana mumbled. When Brittany looked up the rearview mirror, her eyes found Santana's.

"Shut it, reptile." Brittany playfully glared at Santana. Then they both laughed at their inside joke.

Kate shifted in her seat to look at Brittany, and then back to Santana.

"Reptile?" Kate's eyebrows knitted in curiosity.

"It's just an inside joke that Brittany and I share." Santana's eyes flickered at the rearview mirror and back to the road again.

"So you're not going to tell me?" Kate looked back to Brittany.

"Uh, I don't think you'd want to know, Kate. Really, it's for your own good." Brittany's eyes met Santana's smizing eyes again.

"That gross?"

Santana and Brittany exchanged looks at the rearview mirror again and giggled at the same time, before Santana nodded and Brittany answered.

"It's so gross."

It wasn't.

Brittany started calling Santana 'reptile' when the brunette compared herself to one back in college. It was one cold night in December before the holidays and the two of them were cuddled in Santana's bed in Santana's Stanford dorm room. Brittany wanted to study, but Santana just wanted to cuddle, and who could say no to that pleading brown eyes and her pouty lips? It was one harmless cuddling and Brittany enjoyed Santana's body warmth anyway. She always felt safe whenever she had the brunette's arms around her. But Santana started demanding for cuddles and it was throwing off Brittany's study habits, and when she refused one time, Santana said that line likening herself to a reptile-that she needed something beneath her or else she couldn't digest her food.

It was childish. Brittany was amused, but she gave in anyway. So she started calling her reptile and cuddles became their thing. Even when Santana went to NYU Law and they barely saw each other being in two different States, they squeezed in cuddles whenever they could.

Kate didn't have to know that, though.

Kate did seem contented to hear Brittany's answer so she didn't prod anyone to tell her anything about the inside joke.

Maya just watched in interest behind the blonde pilot.

"Brittany, if you aren't feeling very well, you could stay in the car. Rafting could be dangerous." Maya suggested.

"I'm fine, Maya. Who knows when I could get to try my hands on rafting again? I'd be flying back to Paris next month."

Santana's frowned at this information.

"Next month?" Santana asked just to confirm if she heard correctly.

"Yeah." Brittany replied timidly.

"You told Mychal you'd be spending four months here."

"That was the original plan."

"What changed?"

Brittany looked up to meet Santana's eyes in the mirror.

"It's a work thing." Brittany immediately turned her eyes away.

Santana knew that she wasn't being truthful.

"Yeah. I almost forgot how much you _love_ your work." Santana emphasized.

"I wouldn't have left if I didn't."

The atmosphere was highly charged again, so Maya tried to butt in and steered the topic away before it exploded and somebody got hurt.

By the look on her face, Kate was apparently starting to catch on. She was being polite by not interfering.

"Hey, just stay with me and wear the vest. We're expert rafters already and the Filo-Bobos rafting trail is only between Class III to IV, so I'd say you're safe with us." Maya smiled at Brittany.

"I'll pretend I understood what you just said." Brittany chuckled. She didn't even know rafting trails had classes.

Santana smiled at her through the mirror again.

"Maya was talking about the difficulty level. Don't worry, Britt. I'll save you if it comes to it." Santana then briefly turned to give Kate a smile. "You too, babe."

"You better." Kate then reached for Santana's hand on the gear shift and held it.

Brittany turned her eyes away, focusing on the window on her side.

"So, is this your first time rafting as well, Kate?" Maya asked.

"No, actually, I've tried it in India once."

"Ladakh?" Maya smiled knowingly.

"Yeah. Have you been there before?"

While Kate and Maya bonded over the rafting/traveling conversation, Brittany busied herself by looking out of her window. Santana busied herself by focusing on the road, occasionally throwing a look at the rearview mirror to see the miserable look on the blonde dancer's face.

Mychal, Marcus, Mateo and Margie were already at Filo-Bobos when they arrived. Before getting into the raft, they were made to sign waiver forms, were lectured on the basics of rafting, which every member of Santana's clan already knew by heart, so the lecture was really for Brittany and Kate's benefit. Before getting into the raft, Santana gave Brittany a reassuring smile.

The guys and Santana paddled the four corners of the raft, with Mychal and Marcus up front and Mateo and Santana at the back. The other remaining girls were squeezed in between to paddle: Margie and Brittany between Mychal and Mateo, and Maya and Kate between Marcus and Santana. On the left was Mychal in front, behind him were Margie, Brittany and Mateo. On the right side was Marcus, behind him were Maya, Kate and Santana.

The first portion of the trail was easy. Brittany was enjoying it despite her hangover that kept pounding her head once in a while. The guys were shouting every now and then, giving out instructions and encouraging words. Santana and her cousins seemed to be real experts in rafting—Maya wasn't lying. Maybe they did spend their summers growing up in Veracruz, doing this and other stuff.

The trail did not remain calm, though. The rapids were becoming rougher as they went, and Brittany couldn't help but be scared for a while. Then there was that stabbing pain in her head again. She stopped paddling. She could hear Santana's voice screaming words but she couldn't figure them out. They were drowned by the sound of the water splashing everywhere.

Brittany tried to focus. She can also hear Mateo's voice from behind her, asking her something, but just the same she couldn't understand what he was saying. She closed her eyes for a brief moment.

Then there was a jolt.

It all happened too fast. Brittany closed her eyes one second and another second later, she was being propelled into the water. Her vest kept her afloat, but the torrent was turning her around and everywhere and she couldn't gain control. The water was so cold but Brittany couldn't get out, she couldn't.

Then there were faint sounds of shouting. She heard someone calling her name and then Santana's name.

Did something happen to Santana?

She struggled, tried to swim. But the current was too strong and too rough, there were rocks everywhere, she felt one hit her back. She tried to hold onto it, but she was getting too much water in her mouth and nose. It was getting too hard to breathe. The water was slamming onto her and the pain was causing her to lose consciousness, until she felt strong hands grabbed her and pulled her to the other side of the rock, where it was more calm and the water was going around it instead of splashing right into her. Brittany saw a flash of brunette hair. Was it Santana? Probably. But she had no more time to think about it as she felt herself falling into unconsciousness, in the arms of this brunette who kept her head above water.

It didn't take long for a rescue raft to come. Brittany awoke soon afterwards, She spat out water and started to feel the pain in her back and shoulders. She remembered the rapids hitting every part of her body, then the rock where her body was slammed against, and then the brunette.

Her head snapped to the side where she saw Santana, staring down at her, stroking her hair. Brittany tried to get up and Santana helped her. They were on another raft pulled into land, in a calm part of the river. She saw a group of what looked like medics who were preparing some medical kits, most probably for her.

As Brittany got to sit up, strong arms wrapped around her again. She was surprised, but she didn't mind. She wrapped her arms around Santana as well, feeling so safe in her warmth. She had no idea how long they were in that position.

"Uh, San, are you crying?" Brittany was worried when she heard the sobbing.

Santana tried to contain it, but it was no use. The tears fell freely from her eyes.

"No, I'm not." Santana lied.

"Yes, you are." Brittany pulled away so she could look at Santana. And she was right, the brunette had been crying, judging by those eyes.

"It's just... I..."

"Don't cry, please. You know I hate it when you cry." Brittany reached up to wipe the tears.

One of the people who Brittany assumed to be a medic handed her a blanket and she immediately wrapped herself and Santana with it. The medic said something about treating her back but she just shook her head, too comfortable to get out of this position with Santana.

Santana pulled her again and embraced her, harder than ever, as if never wanting to let go. Brittany did the same, with a smile on her face.

"Just don't do that again, alright?" Santana sounded so sad.

"It's not like I jumped on purpose." Brittany was amused at how Santana was being.

"It's not up for argument, Britt. Don't do that again." Santana's voice was firm. She wasn't going to lose this argument and Brittany knew it.

"Okay, San. I won't." Brittany promised with a smile.

They were still wrapped in each other's arms when they heard a really loud (and fake) cough. It did not really bother them to jump away from each other, though. What, it was cold, they were wet, no pun intended, and the blanket and body warmth was cozy, alright?

It was when somebody finally pulled on Santana's hair that the lawyer turned her head with a glare, only to be met by an amused Maya, a worried group of her cousins who kept asking Brittany if she's okay, and a not-so-happy Kate who was looking at her like she had gone crazy.

Reluctantly, Santana and Brittany pulled away from the embrace. Santana gave the blonde the blanket so she could keep herself warm. Marcus ran back to the car to get their change of clothes. And Kate just acted concerned and worried when they got to the car.

Santana had a feeling though that Kate wasn't that thrilled to see her hugging Brittany like she didn't care about the rest of the world. But Kate did not mention anything about it, acting like her girlfriend did not just jump a rafting trail to save another girl.

Santana wasn't going to bring it up either. So, if Kate wouldn't ask her about Brittany, she thought it would be better to shut her mouth. She wouldn't know what to say to Kate anyway.

It was the dawn before the wedding and after Brittany's rafting accident. It had been a long day but Santana was still wide awake. After so many twists and turns that she was surprised did not wake Kate, sleep eluded her. She should be in deep slumber by now, cuddled with her girlfriend, but instead, she was bridled with thoughts of almost losing Brittany.

The events of that morning played in her head as if in slow motion; when the raft tipped to the side after hitting an unseen boulder; when Brittany was thrown into the water; when the torrent rolled Brittany and swallowed the blonde. There was no thinking process involved when she jumped right after and grabbed the dancer before she was pulled even deeper down under despite the safety vest; thanks to Santana's rafting experiences. It were as if she was on autopilot. Santana didn't think of her safety for one second. All she was thinking of was saving Brittany.

When Santana's mind went through the possibilities if she hadn't jumped to save Brittany, she had to close her eyes to ward off the tears that threatened to fall. Like it did this morning, when she let herself cry in front of Brittany. She didn't even realize it until the blonde asked her. It seemed that knowing Brittany was in danger, the tears came automatically.

She turned again, hoping to find a comfortable position to sleep in, and she was met with the beautiful sight of her girlfriend who was lying on her side, facing her. Kate was sleeping so peacefully and Santana stared at her for a moment. Then she felt a little bit guilty. She felt guilty for thinking about Brittany all night, and despite of her efforts to stop, her mind drifted back involuntary to Brittany.

She sighed. Not much she can do about it now. The digital clock on Kate's side said it was already 2:34 a.m. and knowing herself, she's sure that sleeping would be a hopeless effort. So Santana got up from bed, kissed Kate lightly on the cheek, grabbed the half-read book on the nightstand and her reading glasses, and headed to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

And there she found Brittany with a half-filled bottle of water, rummaging through the fridge, with that cute crease on her forehead as if in deep concentration. Her chuckle caught the blonde's attention, who turned to her with a bashful smile on her face.

"Can't sleep either?" Santana asked with a thoughtful smile.

"I tried. You?"

"Lawyers are meant to be nocturnal. My NYU professor once told the class."

"Water?" Brittany offered her already opened bottle of distilled water, which Santana gladly accepted. Without hesitation, she took a sip from the same bottle.

"Thanks, Britt. I was just going to get coffee. Want a cup?" Santana handed the bottle back to Brittany.

The blonde shook her head no. Blue eyes followed the brunette's movements as the latter placed her book on the counter. For several minutes of comfortable silence, Brittany stood by the fridge, just watching. Santana occasionally turned her head to smile at her and Brittany would smile back. As the smell of coffee filled the air, Brittany spoke again.

"Why did you jump after me? Didn't you realize how dangerous that was?"

"I told you I'd save you." Santana reminded her of the conversation in the car.

"Yeah, well, if you hadn't, I wouldn't hold it against you." Brittany crossed her arms.

Santana, on the other hand, had that frown on her face.

"I don't want you to put your life on the line just to save mine, San. I'm not worth it."

Santana stared at her. Brittany wasn't sure what that look was, but she felt small under the brunette's gaze. She knew what she said wouldn't sit well with Santana. She knew she shouldn't have said it in the first place. But if something had happened to the lawyer because of her, she wouldn't have been able to forgive herself. And she wanted Santana to know that.

"Why do you always say that?"

"Say what?"

"Back at the bonfire, you said you don't deserve me. Now you're saying that you're not worth saving." Santana placed her cup of coffee down the counter and walked towards the blonde. She stopped at two feet away from Brittany. "If you fall off an airplane, I'd jump to save you. If you get trapped in a burning building, I'd find you and get you out of there without so much of a scratch. There's no way around it, Britt. If you don't want me saving you, well, I'm sorry but you're just going to have to deal with me and I won't do otherwise. It's non-negotiable." Santana said with finality.

They locked eyes. Santana wasn't going to budge and Brittany knew it. And as her tears fell, Santana was fast enough to wipe them. Standing too close to each other now, Santana's voice dropped down in almost a whisper.

"Don't cry. You now I don't like it either when you cry." Santana's warm hands reached up and wiped Brittany's tears. The brunette wanted to hug Brittany but she wasn't sure if it was okay, so she stayed at a safe distance.

"I'm sorry..."

"What?" Santana was confused as to why Brittany was apologizing.

"Because even after everything that I did to you-"

"Shh, Britt, come here." Santana couldn't resist her anymore.

She pulled Brittany in again, wrapping her arms around the dancer. Brittany did the same and they stood like that for a while. Thank God it was too early in the morning for anyone to be awake and catch them in this position again. Santana had enough suspicious looks from her girlfriend the previous morning when she wouldn't let go of Brittany. Kate did not say anything, but Santana knew she was getting ideas. And she wasn't ready to tell Kate about Brittany.

It would have been so much easier if Brittany and Kate weren't friends.

It didn't take long before Brittany stopped crying and pulled away from the embrace. Both immediately missed each other's warmth but neither said anything about it. Looking suddenly embarrassed, Brittany seemed to be avoiding Santana's eyes; the brunette was still standing too close and it's making her feel all sorts of weird feelings.

"I'd blame myself if something happened to you because of me." Brittany finally said.

"Oh please. Michael Phelps has nothing on me. I've spent all my summers when I was younger swimming in that river instead of rafting because my clumsy brother couldn't seem to grab the concept of being still. " Santana shrugged as if saving someone in that rough river was an everyday thing for her, before displaying that trademark smirk.

Brittany laughed.

"You know, even if things didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be between us, I would always want your safety, Britt. Even if you were never really mine, I... I can't lose you. You're too important to me."

The blush that crept up the blonde's face was too obvious, but Santana did not comment on it.

"Besides, you would have done the same thing for me." Santana smiled as she continued.

"Yeah, I would have. Though I think Kate would beat me to it."

Santana merely nodded, not knowing what to say to that.

"So, you and my friend Kate?" For the first time since finding out, Brittany found the guts to ask. The thought of her friend and her sort of 'ex' together had been nagging her, and the feeling wasn't good.

"Yup, me and your friend Kate."

"At least something good happened when you came to Paris."

Santana made sure to catch Brittany's eyes when she spoke again; her mood suddenly shifting.

"Does it help you feel better when you think of it that way? Because it still was one of, if not the worst day of my life, Brittany." Santana obviously still hated to be reminded of that day, when her heart was shattered by this woman standing in front of her.

"No, it doesn't help a bit... On the contrary it makes me feel like the worst person in the world."

Before Santana even looked to meet Brittany's gaze for the nth time that morning, she knew already how those sad eyes would pacify her again. She sighed in defeat.

"I don't think you're a bad person. You're just... bad at making decisions, when it comes to your own feelings; feelings that you don't even talk about." Santana crossed her arms defensively against her chest.

"Do you think it was meant to be? You, meeting Kate on your plane back home."

"I don't know. Do you?"

"Maybe it was. Maybe you were meant to get your heart broken first so she could mend it for you."

"Twisted analogy, but who knows. I no longer try to find meaning in everything that happens. I seem to get it all wrong."

The look Santana was giving Brittany was not lost on the blonde. Santana's point hit home.

"Thinking about you made me lonely. But it was impossible not to. I was miserable without you Britt, and when she came, she... made me smile. Kate taught me how to open up my heart and try to love again."

"She's a good person."

"I know."

"I'm happy that you found someone who loves you more than anyone else can."

"You're not just 'anyone'..."

They exchanged meaningful looks. They must not have noticed how close they got because they were much closer than they should have been. They were now standing inches apart, feeling each others' warm breath on their faces.

Brittany came to her senses just in time and stepped back, her back hitting the door of the fridge.

"Your coffee is getting cold." Brittany nodded towards the cup resting on the countertop.

Santana got the message and was actually relieved. A kiss, now that Brittany was sober, would only add to the complications this wedding anniversary seemed to invite. She walked back to the counter and grabbed her coffee and book. She was planning to read it in the living room before the blonde distraction presented herself before her.

"Right. Thanks." Santana smiled at Brittany.

"What are you reading?"

"John Grisham."

"The Litigators?" Brittany read aloud.

"Uh-huh."

"Sounds boring." Brittany frowned.

Santana laughed that infectious laugh. "It's insightful."

Brittany stared.

"You look cute on those glasses. I like it when you wear them." Brittany just felt the need to say it.

"You said that when you were drunk." Santana sipped on her cup of coffee and watched Brittany fidget to where she stood.

"Yeah, that-"

"I believe your exact word was _adorkable_?" Santana made quotations marks with her fingers.

Brittany had never felt so embarrassed in her life. She covered her face with her one hand not holding the bottle of water.

"What else did I say?" Brittany was wincing even before Santana could answer her question.

"More like, do." Santana purposely skirted around that confrontation about feelings and things that couldn't be expressed in words but in actions.

"What?"

"You tried to kiss me."

"Oh God." She just had to facepalm.

"But it's okay. Blame it on the alcohol, right?" Santana gave Brittany that reassuring look, that everything was still fine and that they're okay. Santana was giving her a way out and Brittany took it.

"Right. You know me and my tolerance. Sorry about that. As lame as this sounds, I really couldn't remember anything before going to sleep besides seeing you. But thanks. I should take that beauty rest. I don't really want to have dark circles around my eyes when I walk down that aisle as your aunt's bridesmaid."

"Yeah... yeah, good idea."

"Good night, San."

"Good night, Britt."

"Uhm, San?" Brittany stopped before reaching the door.

"Yeah?" Santana looked back at the blonde.

"I know we both hate looking back at what happened in Paris, but… just so you know, I was _never_ in love with him." Brittany said truthfully, making sure to make eye contact with Santana.

There was no mistaking as to who Brittany was referring to.

The brunette did not say or do anything. She just held the dancer's stare. She wasn't sure why Brittany was telling her that, like it still mattered. But in acknowledgment, there was an imperceptible nod on the lawyer's part.

"I just wanted you to know that." Brittany said one last time before leaving Santana alone in the kitchen.

The corner of Santana's lips quirked into a smile.

Finally, wedding day came.

The house was bustling with flowers, dresses, and bridesmaids. Santana was sitting in front of the mirror, already in her bridesmaid cocktail dress, being prepped by no other than Kate. The blonde pilot was busy curling Santana's hair into perfect big waves, the way Santana liked it. But that didn't mean Kate hadn't noticed the tired look her girlfriend was sporting.

"Did you sleep, at all?" Kate's voice forced Santana out of her deep thought.

"I couldn't."

"Why?"

"I don't know." Santana's answer made Kate lift an eyebrow. But the brunette didn't see it as she was busy playing with the make-up kit that Kate used on both of them.

Kate turned the curling iron off and placed it on top the vanity table. She then put her hand on Santana's shoulders, making her turn around. Santana did, and now she was looking up at the loving eyes of her girlfriend. Kate brushed the stray hair on the side of Santana's face and tucked it on her left ear.

"You okay, babe?" Kate traced the side of Santana's face with her thumb. Before it reached her jaw, Santana reached for her girlfriend's hand, lifted it up her lips and kissed the back of it, making the blonde smile.

"I'm fine. Maybe I'm just excited for my aunt and uncle."

"If this is how excitement gets you, then I don't want you to be excited when we get to our own wedding day." Kate joked before leaning down and whispering against Santana's lips.

Santana's smile was obviously forced.

"I'm not trying to scare you with the wedding thing." Kate then captured Santana's lips with hers.

Santana let herself get lost in the kiss. It was comforting. Her mind thought of how they got here. She thought of the first time she realized she loved Kate; the first time they kissed; the first time they made love. All of those times with Kate were amazing.

Kate was simply amazing.

As soon as Kate pulled away for air, the thoughts of Brittany came back rushing to Santana. And immediately, Santana felt so guilty and silently berated herself.

"I'm not scared, just..." Santana trailed off, not really knowing what to say to Kate after her girlfriend brought up the wedding topic. They hadn't been together that long. They were serious about this relationship, and they both knew where this was going. But Santana had never really thought of a wedding in her near future. She did think about it with Kate, but not in the next five years.

She felt far from being ready.

"Waiting for the right time. Yeah, I know." Kate pecked Santana's lips before picking up the curling iron again and getting back to the task at hand. "I'm not pressuring you into it, babe. I was just trying to make you smile." Kate smiled at Santana through the vanity mirror.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Santana said.

Kate nodded, before responding, "I love you too, Santana."

The wedding was to take place at the _Catedral de la Asuncion de Maria_ with the wedding party to follow at a chartered yacht, which was set to cruise the Gulf of Mexico with the 'newlyweds', wedding entourage, and guests for three days and two nights. It was expensive, but nothing that the Torres's cannot afford. Santana's Uncle Abran was actually the only heir of his parents who were rich land ownersin Puerto Rico and thus, inherited everything when his parents died. So, her cousins Maya and Mateo were really more than comfortable with the life they grew up with. They owned properties in the three countries they had lived all their lives—the U.S., Mexico and Puerto Rico.

A limousine was supposed to pick up the bridesmaids from the beach house. Since Kate wasn't a bridesmaid, she went ahead to the church with Santana's other cousins who weren't part of the entourage. The brunette insisted that there's more room for one in the limo, but Kate insisted she wanted to get to know the other members of their clan, so, Santana eventually allowed her to go with her cousins.

Marcus and Mychal were waiting outside, smoking. In the living room, Santana was impatiently tapping her high heels on the floor while Mateo and Maya were giving her annoyed looks.

"Can't you just call her? Because I really hate wai-" Santana's jaw dropped to the floor before she could finish her sentence as the last of the bridesmaids descended the stairs, following her cousin Margie.

Curious, both Maya and Mateo followed Santana's line of sight.

Brittany looked breathtaking in the above-the-knee length, tube-top, red cocktail dress. The end tips of her long blonde hair were styled in cute little curls. Maya wasn't exaggerating when she praised the blonde back at the bridal shop when they picked up the dress.

The look on Santana's face was so worth it.

"Close your mouth." Maya had a huge grin when she nudged her cousin with her elbow.

"Huh?"

"Close your mouth before your girlfriend catches you ogling at someone else." Maya chastised her cousin loud enough for everybody in the living room to hear.

Brittany visibly blushed. Mateo just smiled, shaking his head, then walked to the door to wait for them outside.

"What? I'm not ogling. I wasn't ogling!" Santana said, more to convince herself than Maya, who looked dubiously back at her. No use to defend herself, really.

When Brittany neared her, Santana just smiled and sprinted outside. At the limo, Santana couldn't help but steal glances of Brittany who was sitting beside Maya, opposite her.

Maya had to roll her eyes a few times at that.

The wedding ceremony went without a hitch. Santana and Brittany sat next to each other and the Latina was caught more than once stealing a look at Brittany. The blonde, on the other hand, played it cool, but the reddening of her ears was too obvious for anyone to miss.

Kate, who was sitting a few rows behind the two, caught the glances that had been exchanged between her friend and girlfriend. And despite of how many times she tried to convince herself that these two important people in her life were just really close, she was starting to feel threatened. Santana and Brittany said they were just friends who met at a bookshop in California during Santana's pre-law days.

Kate didn't really know the extent of that friendship. She did not even ask. She wanted to ask; she wanted to know what book it was that started their friendship. Kate wanted to know so many things about them. Were they ever attracted to each other? Did they know they have this amazing chemistry together? Could she even compete with her friend's chemistry with her own girlfriend? That makes her feel insecure because that would totally suck if her co-captain would look better in her girlfriend's arms just because they met first. Since finding out that Brittany and Santana knew each other, there had always been this nagging feeling inside of her that stopped her from asking.

But that night at the yacht, while the band was playing slow wedding songs as they were having their dinner at the ballroom/reception hall, Kate did just that.

"What book was it?" Kate turned her attention to Santana, who just looked at her confused.

"Book?"

"You said you and Brittany met at a bookshop when you both reached for the same book. And you exchanged numbers so she could give the book to you after she finished."

Earlier, they were sharing a table with Santana's mother Beatriz and Mychal. But they ended up alone as Santana's mom was invited to a table with their family friends and Mychal, well, who knew where he was? Mrs. Lopez seemed to have developed a fondness for Kate, which Santana was glad about. The brunette was also glad that her mom and brother had joined other tables just as she was put on the spot by her girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Brittany was sharing a table with Maya, Marcus, Margie and Mateo.

"Why do you wanna know, babe?" Santana asked casually.

"I'm just curious."

"It's The Notebook. By Nicholas Sparks."

Kate almost raised an eyebrow.

Nicholas Sparks was a contemporary romance writer whose books were just in every bookstore you could think of. His novels had been turned into movies, for fuck's sake.

So why share when you can buy a copy anywhere?

"Babe?" Santana called out to her girlfriend who zoned out for a second there.

"Oh, sorry. I just thought of... something."

Santana just nodded and resumed eating. Then Kate asked her something again.

"What was your favorite line?"

Santana smiled. Looking down at her plate, she recited, "You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have." Then she looked up to meet Kate's eyes.

The smile that Kate returned was forced. While the new information did not prove anything, and she did not even believe that Brittany or Santana would be capable of doing something to betray her, still, she's worried.

She was jealous. For whatever reason, she was jealous.

The night went on. As soon as they were done with dinner, Santana, with all the graciousness she could muster, asked Kate to dance with her. She was planning to dance with her girlfriend all night long, to every song in her aunt and uncle's wedding song list, forgetting all the while that there was one song in that list that she wouldn't want to dance to.

Until it played.

Santana froze on the dance floor at the first recognizable tune of Songbird. She remembered the bonfire when Mateo and Maya decided to include that in the wedding song list without her being able to oppose or object. Not that she had a say in it.

She felt Kate lead her to dance, and she obliged. Santana danced with Kate to the song that was never meant for anyone else but Brittany. And as she pulled Kate closer to her, the brunette looked over Kate's shoulder and her eyes flickered over a good-looking couple dancing not so far away from them.

Her eyes narrowed.

It was Brittany and Marcus.

And when Santana's eyes met Brittany's, she saw a flash of pain in those blue eyes. But the eye contact was broken faster than it connected. The lawyer watched as Brittany whisper something to Marcus before marching out of the ballroom.

Brittany felt like she was suffocating. After fleeing from the ballroom with nothing more than an 'excuse me' to Marcus, she found herself standing alone at the topdeck; the coldness of the night making her feel even more alone. She had to get out of there while she still could, or else, she'd fall apart. At first, cruising the Gulf of Mexico sounded utterly romantic. Brittany would have enjoyed it, but watching Santana with her touchy-feely girlfriend and dancing to _their_ song made her stomach lurch. All she wanted right now was to get as far away as she could. Too bad she was confined to this yacht for two more days, and the only place far enough was this deck.

She looked up at the beautiful stars, shining up in the sky. As she did, her thoughts automatically shifted back to Santana; to her beautiful smile, and cute little dimples.

The blonde closed her eyes and silently berated herself.

_You can't think about her like that anymore..._

She was really having a hard time trying to understand her feelings lately, and she knew she doesn't even have the right to feel that way; to feel... jealous.

Yes, that's what it was, jealousy. It was a feeling that she didn't recognize, for it is something that she had never really felt before. She had been so used to the idea of Santana loving no one else but her. There was this unsettling feeling inside of her, something eating her self-control, something she didn't want to reveal. Seeing Kate whispering into Santana's ear made her want to do crazy things, all of which involves going all super ninja on her supposed friend.

_This wasn't right... _

It was an unexpected feeling. When she and Santana finally dealt with their issues, or more like glossed over it, she thought, and she was hoping, that everything would be fine. Well, for a while, things were alright. They even managed to recover their almost lost friendship, which was almost shattered by their not-so-platonic feelings, albeit undefined. Being close to each other felt right. That short time since Santana had forgiven her was enough for them to get to know each other again. It was as if everything went back to normal, like engaging in their senseless banters for fun. That was one of the things she missed about Santana.

The thought of Santana brought a smile in her face. Then she remembered Kate again.

_My good friend, Kate..._

What a cruel, cruel world.

Brittany had made it clear so many times before; all she wanted from Santana was her friendship. She was very sure about that. In that long agonizing time when she was away in Paris, it was Santana's forgiveness and friendship she prayed for. And then she had an opportunity to come back and to see her again. Brittany was determined, no matter how stubborn Santana was, to win her trust back. That was why she gathered her guts to fly to Veracruz with Santana even without Kurt and endured Santana's cold stare, sarcastic and unenthusiastic replies, and uncaring demeanor towards her.

It was torture.

But with what she believed to be divine intervention, Santana didn't fight the possibility of them being friends again. Brittany couldn't be happier. Until she realized that Santana really did move on, and the Kate that helped her to wasn't just a name. She was a friend. And suddenly, Brittany felt like she was being left behind...

This was what she wanted for Santana all those years. She wanted her to be happy. She wanted Santana to find someone who could love her and fight for her, someone brave enough to admit that she was in love with Santana, another girl. Something that she couldn't do herself because she was too afraid of the consequences. Someone that Santana could love back and help her forget about Brittany. And it looked like Santana had found her. Brittany knew Kate. She was kind, beautiful and considerate. She couldn't really think of anything bad about her friend.

_So why aren't I happy?_

That's when she heard footsteps approaching, and entered the person currently invading her mind...

As Brittany watched Santana walk towards her direction with that worried look on her face, she couldn't help but stare.

"Hey." Santana spoke with that raspy voice of hers, almost making Brittany shiver.

"Hey." Brittany returned the greeting while leaning against the railing of the deck. For a short moment, silence befell them. Santana was looking at the blonde with a questioning look, standing with her arms crossed, trying to fight the cold. Both of them weren't wearing any jackets, and it was actually really brave of them to stand out there without one.

Brittany broke the eye contact, turning around to face the water.

From where Santana stood, the Latina wanted to get nearer. She was hesitant at first. But old habits die hard. So she let her feet carry her to the side of the dancer. Maybe it was a couple of seconds, probably minutes that they just stood there watching the outline of the horizon through the darkness, their surroundings dimly lit by the post lights, and the glow of the full-moon and the stars.

"I was wondering where you were." Santana confessed.

"How did you find me?"

"I know you. I knew you'd be here."

"You were right."

"But it's cold in here. Let's get back down to the main deck. Maya's looking for you."

"Did she ask you to look for me?"

"No. I looked for you myself."

"Why?" Brittany turned her head to look at Santana, but Santana's line of vision remained focused ahead of her. The blonde could make out the trace of a smile from the side of Santana's face.

"I feel like a witness on cross-examination." Santana joked, making Brittany chuckle. She realized she had been asking too many questions.

"Was I good?"

"You're very good."

"Learned from the best."

There was silence between them again, a more comfortable one. The wind blew harder and from the corner of her eye, Brittany could see Santana rubbing the sides of her arms to warm herself. It took all of her self-control to refrain from reaching out and rubbing those arms herself.

"I have to give it to Maya for choosing the hottest design for a cocktail bridesmaid dress, but it isn't really helping with my breathing."

Brittany's eyes involuntarily gave Santana a once over, gulping in the process at the sight before her: Santana in a very short, very red, cocktail dress. The tube top was emphasizing too much of the chest part and did not leave much for the imagination. And the red stilettos were not really helping with the kind of thoughts that suddenly swirled in her head. She was reminded of the one word that kept popping up in her head and the one name that seemed to be associated with it.

Beautiful Santana.

"Take it off then." Brittany suggested in her more casual tone. Santana, this time, turned her head with an eyebrow raised.

So Brittany continued.

"It's nothing I've never seen before." The blonde said in a tone that was too familiar to Santana. Of course Brittany was mocking her with the same line that she used to tease Brittany with that time she barged into the room while Brittany was in her underwear and getting dressed.

"Shut up." The Latina feigned annoyance, but the amusement was obvious in her face. She turned her head back to the direction of the water.

As Santana listened to the waves hitting the side of the yacht, and the occasional cheering from below, Brittany continued watching her. The lawyer could feel crystal blue eyes locked on the side of her face.

"What?" Santana asked. But there was no reply.

Suddenly, Brittany missed her. It was strange; Santana was just standing there beside her and she missed her... And realization hit her right in her face.

Santana's happiness wasn't hers.

Wondering why Brittany hadn't said a word, Santana turned to finally face the blonde, who was staring at her, catching her off-guard. Brittany had never looked at her that way before. It was making her nervous for some reason.

"Really, what?" Santana asked again.

"Nothing, I just..."

"What, Britt?"

"You're so beautiful..." Brittany almost whispered it, but it reached Santana's ears perfectly. Had it been brighter, the blonde would have seen the blush forming in the brunette's cheeks.

Santana didn't know how to react. Especially when Brittany suddenly made a step forward, closing the space between them. She could feel her heart racing, and she stood immobile as she watched Brittany's face lean closer, red lips aiming for her own. Just as soon as the familiar warm breath hits her face, it was gone. And by the time Santana turned her head to find Brittany, the blonde was already on her way to the stairs.

"Britt?"

The blonde continued walking as if not hearing her. Still confused of what almost happened, Santana called in a more determined tone.

"Britt!"

Brittany stopped. Santana watched. Brittany was having an internal battle with herself: turn around and run back to Santana, or continue walking and leave. It didn't take long for her to decide.

Santana could feel her heart trying to hammer its way out of her chest when Brittany turned around and marched back to her, and without so much of a warning, she felt cold hands on both sides of her face, pulling her...

Again, the brunette was caught off-guard, but this time, upon feeling that familiar lips pressing against her own...

Brittany was kissing her and all kinds of thoughts are running through Santana's head.

First, she wasn't sure if Brittany knew what she's doing. Second, she thought that Brittany could be drunk, but then again, she couldn't taste the liquor in her luscious mouth. Third, she wondered whether it was still Brittany that was standing in front of her, because Brittany would never ever kiss her in this place where people they knew—her cousins and friends, and girlfriend, could just walk in and catch them. And fourth, she wondered why she was kissing Brittany back...

It was a gentle, tender, loving kiss, and it seemed like pulling away was a burden to Santana. Her hands even had a mind of its own as it wrapped around Brittany's neck, one caressing soft blonde hair. Then she realized that they could get caught any moment, and the last thing she wanted to do was to create a scene in her aunt and uncle's 30th wedding anniversary.

However, Santana still wasn't pulling away. Her mind was telling her to, but her heart was telling her otherwise... Her right hand found its way to touch Brittany's face... She missed doing that...

Then Brittany pulled away, both of them trying to catch their breaths...

When Santana looked at Brittany's flushed face, she looked just as bewildered. Santana tried to look away from Brittany's tempting red lips, it's quite inviting. Or she might never be able to stop herself from pulling her close, to feel that amazing feeling again...

A familiar, amazing feeling...

"Santana? Are you here, babe?"

The voice from the direction of the stairs made them jump away from each other. Santana noticed when Brittany held in a breath, as if afraid. She made sure they weren't standing too close before replying.

"Yes, I'm here, Kate." Santana replied after clearing her throat. Hearing footsteps, Kate came up the stairs to the deck.

"Hey Brittany." Kate smiled and made her way towards her girlfriend.

"Hi." Brittany smiled back. Santana's doing a good job trying to hide her nervousness.

"This was fun, but it's exhausting. And it's not even our wedding yet." Kate giggled as she reached for Santana's hand. Brittany turned her gaze from Kate to an almost frowning Santana.

"Wedding? Are you, uh-" The words got caught up in Brittany's throat. And she was thankful that Santana interrupted, or Kate would have noticed.

"No, we're not." Santana answered a little too fast as she held Brittany's gaze.

"Relax, babe. But don't tell me you haven't thought about it." Kate looks expectantly at Santana.

"I do, of course, it's just..." Santana shrugged. She doesn't know what else to say. Brittany, suddenly felt out of place again.

"Wow, uhm... Congratulations, I guess. I'm happy for you." Brittany forced a smile towards Santana's direction, then headed to the stairs.

Santana tried to discreetly watch Brittany. But Kate wasn't blind...

And upon reaching the other side of the door, the tears Brittany had been holding back fell.

Santana found it hard to find Brittany the rest of the night. Apparently, the blonde was purposely avoiding her. So, when she caught a glimpse of Brittany trying to get away from her again, she followed. It wasn't so far from the ballroom when Brittany entered a room which turned out to be a really small pantry (the smallest one in the yacht) and before the blonde could close the door, Santana managed to push it open and get inside with the dancer.

Brittany didn't say a word. Her face was hard to read. She was trying her best to avoid looking at Santana though. Every time Santana attempted to get near, Brittany would turn the other way. Becoming impatient and annoyed (which was Santana's very nature), she pulled Brittany by the right wrist, forcefully, and pushed her against a wall, placing both hands on either side of the blonde's face to prevent her from turning away again.

Thank God for stilettos, making them meet at eye level.

Finally cornering her, the dancer did not dare look at her. She just stood there. Santana was too engrossed looking at Brittany for a while.

Santana then moved closer to her, facing her. Brittany was looking down the floor, determined to avert the eyes of the brunette. She just couldn't look at those eyes, and those lips that she just kissed. Or she might make another mistake and kiss her again... And this time, they could get caught.

Now they stood face-to-face, warm breaths on each other's faces, their breasts touching and Santana couldn't help but feel...

The lawyer cleared her throat, the sound of which got drowned in the sound of the music coming from the ballroom. Neither could hide the change in their breathing. Feeling constricted because of their proximity and the enclosed space, Santana tried to move a bit away, but to no avail. Her feet just wouldn't budge.

Damn it, Santana couldn't wait anymore.

"You can't just walk away like that. You can't keep walking away from me and avoid talking about what we should have talked about ages ago."

"Where's Kate?"

"You kissed me. Out of nowhere." Santana reminded Brittany, and completely ignoring the question.

"You have a girlfriend who's also my friend."

"Exactly. So why did you kiss me?"

"It was a spur of the moment thing. I'm sorry." Brittany mustered the coldest reply she could. But she wasn't very good at lying. She never was.

"Spur of the moment? Really, that's what you're going to call it?"

Brittany thought it was best not to respond.

"Why are you doing this to me. Britt?"

Brittany didn't have to ask what Santana was talking about.

"What happened back there, you... you can't just do that. You can't just kiss people for no reason, so I'm asking you why... Brittany, when are you really going to tell me why? Do you even love me?"

"Why can't we just be like this?"

"Like what? What exactly is it that we have? Because I'm way beyond confused."

"You know what I mean."

"No I don't. You kissed me, and then you walked away. Britt, I love you. I have loved you for so long, and now I'm in a relationship with someone else and I'm still in love with you. And it's not fair. So if you are, as what you said in front of my clueless cousins, 'not ready for me and not good enough for me', then stop playing with my feelings."

"What?" Brittany was surprised with the confession. All this time, she thought she had lost her to Kate, and then this confession.

"You can't even answer a simple question?"

"You're still in love with me?"

"I..." It was only then that Santana realized her slip. She regretted it, but there's no taking it back now. She may have subconsciously known that all along, but she managed to repress it until now. "Just answer my question, okay? Why did you kiss me? Are you in love with me or not?"

"Why do you have to complicate things?"

"Oh I'm the one complicating this situation we're in now? YOU KISSED ME. Things aren't complicated. YOU are complicated. I was moving on... After you slept with me and left me cold and alone in my bed... After suffering the loneliness of not being with you, the pain of seeing you with that douche in Paris... I was moving on, and I found a beautiful, loving girlfriend who has no problem letting me know how she feels about me. Only to find myself here, begging for your love again. I'm pathetic."

"You're not pathetic."

"I'm way beyond pathetic. Kate saved me. She loves me unconditionally. She trusts me... I can't even trust myself whenever I'm around you..." Santana leaned in closer, their foreheads now rested against each other. They stayed like that for a while, taking in the feeling of being close.

"Santana..." Brittany made a move to raise her hand and touch Santana's face.

"I have to go..." Santana pulled away before Brittany's hand could touch her cheek.

"Don't go, please..." Brittany managed to grab Santana's right hand as the latter pulled away from her, instantly missing the feeling of being close.

"I think we should- stay away from each other for a while. Spend some time to think about things... if you even have to."


	7. Confessions Part 1

**CHAPTER 7 CONFESSIONS**

"You're first chair tomorrow." Santana snarled at her newbie associate as she dumped the case files on top of the table. The poor young man almost fell off his seat in surprise. His palms were sweating as he looked up to meet the stern eyes of his superior, who was towering before him.

Santana rolled her eyes when he didn't answer.

"Well, get on with it if you want to impress me."

"Yes, Ms. Lopez."

After hearing his almost-trembling reply, Santana marched back to her office and sat in front of her laptop. She's used to people fearing her; colleagues and adversaries alike. After all, she was a force to reckon with inside the courtroom. And in the office, she's both diligent and strict. Although she may be quite intimidating, she is also well-respected and admired.

Santana sighed as she looked at her watch and realized it was already 4:00 o'clock in the afternoon. She hadn't accomplished anything. That wasn't like her. She was so distracted she had to designate another associate to give the closing arguments earlier that morning. It was a good thing she printed it out beforehand.

It'd been two days since they got back from Veracruz and things had been weird between her and Kate. Kate was staying at her apartment, but somehow, they both kept their distance. Santana was so preoccupied by what happened during the cruise that she didn't pay any attention to the current situation with her girlfriend. She just shrugged it off as Kate giving her some space.

The lawyer stared at her laptop again, her hands suspended on top of the keyboard, not really moving. A motion was due to be filed in court the next day but she had barely written anything. It had been hours since she started but had only gotten past the title.

This wasn't going well.

She felt so frustrated. She wanted to cry. She wanted to run. She wanted to scream. She didn't do any of that though. Santana leaned back on her office chair and tried to relax. Her efforts to clear her head of thoughts of a blonde dancer and that amazing kiss were futile.

She closed her eyes.

The brunette was never lazy but she thought giving the task of finishing this written motion to her associates would be for the better.

"You need a break."

Santana didn't have to open her eyes to know exactly who it was. In her mind, she imagined Noah Puckerman standing by her door, with that 'charming' grin on his face. Well, 'charming' according to him anyway. The brunette thought it was just creepy.

"Are you lost?" Santana opened her eyes and watched as Noah walked into the room and took the seat opposite her.

"Shabby district attorney's office." He looked around the room like he'd never been there before. "I can't possibly be mistaken." Noah puts on a face of fake disgust.

Santana just shook her head at the jab.

"What are you still doing here, Santana?"

"I'm working."

"You know what I mean."

"Are we going to have this talk again? Because my argument would still be the same."

"Overworked, underpaid. But it's the honorable thing to do, right?"

"I'm sorry I don't share your sympathy for the scheming capitalists that you represent." Santana could easily start her own private practice if she wanted to. But like she told her friends when she was in law school, she wasn't after the money. She enjoyed being in this dingy office, helping people.

"Hey, no need to get personal now. Mike and I just think that you're too brilliant to be stuck here."

"Get off my business then."

"So, is that your game plan? Be this honorable, underappreciated public servant, forever?"

"You know my game plan."

"The UN thing? Are you even doing something about it?" Noah leaned back on the chair. He had been observing Santana this whole time. He saw when his friend's eyes flickered to her desk drawer.

Santana pulled out an envelope. She pushed it towards Noah who picked it up and immediately saw the United Nations logo. He looked up at Santana with questioning eyes.

"Wow, so you were serious. What does it say?"

"I haven't opened it yet."

Confused, Noah prodded further.

"Why not?"

"I have too much on my mind right now. Maybe I'll open it later."

"Girlfriend trouble?"

Santana just shrugged. She got up from her chair and headed to the side of the room, picked up a cup throwing her friend a look over her shoulder.

"Coffee?" She asked.

"No thanks. I've had too much today already."

"So what do you want, Noah? Surely you didn't come here to just insult my office." Santana asked as she picked up the coffee maker and poured herself a cup. She placed two cubes of sugar and some cream, stirred for a while, then walked back to sit on her chair.

Her eyes met Noah's concerned ones.

"I was nearby, so I thought I'd visit."

"I'm kind of busy."

"Yeah right. Staring at your laptop doesn't count as doing something… You need a break."

"You said that already."

"I have something for you." Noah pulled out something from the inside pocket of his designer coat and placed it on the table.

Santana curiously eyed the envelope. Noah nodded at her, urging her to open it and she did. They were two tickets to Bora Bora.

The assistant district attorney looked up at her friend, lifting an eyebrow in the process.

"Is this your way of bribing me for some future sexual harassment case someone is probably planning to file against you?"

"Sexual harassment? Come on, I don't need to resort to harassment to get sexual favors." Noah looked smug as he laughed.

"What's this for?" Santana narrowed her eyes at her friend.

"Consider it as a gift."

"From who?"

"Me."

"Are you sure this isn't from any of your corporate clients trying to get into my good graces? Because I assure you, I don't have that."

"It's from me. I thought you could use a vacation somewhere really far. I mean, Mike watched you this morning at the courthouse." Noah need not even elaborate. Santana rolled her eyes at her blabbing friend Mike.

Sure she hadn't been herself the whole day. Actually, she hadn't been herself since that kiss with Brittany on the yacht. Thoughts of the kiss kept running in her head. She hadn't spoken to the blonde after that. The rest of the cruise was just plain uncomfortable. She avoided all possible encounters with Brittany. She'd told Kate that she wasn't feeling well to avoid any further questions.

Right, Kate.

Kate had been patient all this time. Her girlfriend didn't ask questions. Well, she knew better than to because her cousin Maya did try to poke her nose into Santana's business when she wouldn't join them for breakfast at the yacht and she just growled at her.

There was that pang of guilt in her chest again.

"Maybe you're right."

"So you'd take it?" Noah seemed pleased.

"Thanks, Puck." Santana smiled at him.

"I told you to stop calling me Puck."

"Okay, Puck." She laughed.

Puck tried to look annoyed but his smile gave him away. Santana couldn't be more thankful. She did need some space, some time away from LA with Kate, and without her crazy family. Somewhere, away from the people she knew. She needed this time to make it up to her girlfriend. She hadn't been a good one lately, kissing Britt and constantly thinking about her.

That's when her cellphone rang. Her face light up upon seeing it was Kate who was calling.

"Hey, babe."

Santana's cheerful voice brought a smile to Kate's face. But Santana, being on the other side of the line, wasn't able to see the sadness in Kate's eyes.

"_Hi."_

"So, why are you calling? Did you miss me?" Santana asked. Then she realized Noah was still in the room with a shit-eating grin on his face. She glared at him without so much of an effect. She watched as Noah got up from the chair, picked up his briefcase and motioned with his hand that he was leaving. Santana nodded and mouthed a thank you.

"_I always miss you when you're not with me." _Kate replied.

Santana wondered how she could even think of another blonde when she had such a wonderful girlfriend. She cared a whole lot about Kate.

"_Can you come over my house tonight? I need to talk to you about something." _The pilot continued.

There was something different with the way her girlfriend talked. She could not put a finger on it, but Santana was sure there was something different. Maybe she was tired. Was it exhaustion, or was it sadness? Kate's voice was somber.

"Yeah, okay. Do you want me to bring dinner?"

"_I'll take care of it. I'll see you later, alright? I love you." _

"I love you, Kate." Santana smiled and listened as Kate hung up the phone. But as soon as Santana was alone, her mind went back to Brittany; the way she looked in that red cocktail dress, the way she kissed her.

She had to stop doing that.

She slammed her laptop closed. Intent on not thinking about her hopeless situation with Brittany, she decided to leave the office early and kill sometime before going home to change into her casual clothes. Maybe she'd even buy Kate some flowers. She hadn't done that in a while.

Meanwhile, Kate was on the road, driving her black Audi A4. The blonde pulled the earplugs from hear ear and placed them with her cellphone on the center console. It didn't take long before she reached her destination.

Jake's dance studio.

Jake was Kate and Brittany's friend from highschool. He had done well in his career. Kate never doubted that he'd make it in Hollywood, considering how talented he was. Brittany had always been the better dancer though. Sometimes she wonders why Brittany chose to get out of the country when she could have done better than Jake.

But Kate wasn't here for Jake.

_It was the third and last day of the cruise. They'd be back in the shores of Veracruz in a few hours, off the yacht and LA bound. Kate was never an early riser but she woke up early that morning. If she thought about it, she wasn't really able to sleep. She had been restless for two days now. _

_She needed someone to talk to, or she might explode. Thoughts of the other night at the topdeck swirled in her head, making her feel so many things: confusion, anger, worry, misery. She knew what she saw. But somehow, she refused to believe it. Kate didn't know why, but she wanted to give her girlfriend the benefit of the doubt. _

_She lay still on the bed, with her girlfriend peacefully sleeping beside her. Santana stirred, and Kate's eyes focused on her. The blonde reached for the brunette's face, softly caressing her cheek. After readjusting her position on the bed, she leaned closer so she could stare at Santana. _

_And then she thought of Brittany…_

_Brittany was one of the few people she trusted. Heck, she was one of the few people she first came out to when she was in college. The other blonde was one of the nicest people that ever existed, and she had always been thankful to have her as a friend. _

_And then the thought of Brittany and Santana on the topdeck came back to her. _

_She wanted to wake Santana, scream at her, confront her about what she saw, but she couldn't. Kate didn't have the energy. But she had no idea how long she could keep it in either. _

_Kate leaned even closer to Santana and kissed her lightly on the lips. Santana didn't move. She just scrunched her nose up and remained lost in her world of dreams. Carefully, the pilot pulled her girlfriend closer to her chest, her chin on the top of Santana's head. She stroke the brunette locks, loving the feel of silky hair on her hand. _

_Then Santana mumbled undecipherable words against her chest. Kate pulled away slightly, trying to hear what the lawyer was saying._

"_Britt…"_

_She froze. Her girlfriend murmured a few other incoherent words. She didn't understand most, but she caught the last of it as the brunette snuggled closer. _

"_Iloveyou…" Santana rambled rather fast, but Kate heard it perfectly._

_Like she just found the last piece of the puzzle, everything became clear to her. Right then, Kate finally exploded, and the tears started falling._

"That's one great turn, Brittany, but I think you need to polish it up a bit."

Brittany stopped turning upon hearing the sound of that voice. She wasn't expecting it, but it was a welcomed distraction. She had been dancing for hours now, and it seemed like she had been lost in her own world for a while there. It was only then that she realized Mike had already gone. Mike did say he would be leaving the studio to her in a few minutes. He didn't want to bother her to say goodbye.

Nobody was left in the studio but her. And now, Kate.

The dancer suddenly felt awkward, thinking of the kiss she stole from her friend's girlfriend. During the cruise, they barely talked. She rarely saw Kate during that time as her friend usually locked herself in her cabin room with Santana.

Brittany shook the 'Santana thoughts' out of her head. That's what she wanted to forget anyway.

"Do it again, Britt." Kate encouraged her.

Brittany smiled and tried the step again. The next time she finished the turn, she stopped and faced Kate, waiting for her to comment.

"That was awesome." The taller blonde walked towards the dancer who was sweating in her dance clothes.

"Thanks."

Both of them headed to a nearby bench. Brittany picked up a towel from a bag placed on the wooden floor and wiped her face with it. She missed this kind of bonding with Kate. They used to correct each other's dancing during their cheerleading days. It had always been fun. Dancing made them feel invincible. Well, they thought they were until one time Kate tried to do a complicated flip which broke her ankle in the process.

"You just missed Jake." Brittany said to break the silence.

"Actually, it's you that I came to see, Brittany."

"Hey, I thought you said lunch tomorrow?"

"Well, yeah, I just… I need someone to talk to."

"Okay." Brittany turned her body towards Kate's direction so she could focus her attention on her. She tried to set aside the guilt that she felt, the jealousy, because first and foremost, she was Kate's friend. She would always be.

Kate sat there, facing the dance floor, her eyes focused on nothing in particular. She just sat staring into space, lost in thought. The look on Kate's face was heartbreaking. Brittany wondered what was causing it.

"Do you know how long Santana got over that girl in Paris?"

Kate's question caught her off-guard. Brittany didn't expect that the conversation would immediately turn into the very subject she wanted to avoid.

"No, Kate…" Brittany's voice trembled and she hoped that her friend did not notice.

"She took years."

"That's a long time." Brittany tried to rid herself of the emotions. Did she really make Santana suffer that long?

"I knew I wanted her. That first time I saw her, I wanted to ask her out on a date but she was so heartbroken. We became friends first. I fell in love with her Brittany, so I waited for her… I waited so long for her." Kate's voice was breaking and Brittany didn't know what to do, whether to reach out and comfort her. This conversation with Kate was making her feel guiltier by the minute.

Then Brittany wondered what the problem was. Kate already had Santana. So why was her friend on the verge of crying?

"And now you got the girl." If her heart could break, Brittany's would have been split in two by now.

"I'm not sure that I did." Kate softly said.

"Kate, don't be ridiculous."

Finally, Kate lifted up her gaze to meet Brittany's. It was hard to guess what that look was. Kate was neither accusing nor angry. She was just… hurt.

"You know what my greatest fear is?" Kate asked. Brittany just shook her head and Kate continued. "I'm afraid that one day this girl from Paris would come back and steal Santana away from me."

"She wouldn't… Santana loves you…", Brittany whispered.

"This isn't fair…" Kate was sobbing now. The dancer remained glued to her seat, opting not to console her friend. She was the last person in the world who could. "I've wondered about that girl all this time and it turns out, I've been so close to her all along."

That's it. Kate knew. And Brittany did not know what to do.

Brittany felt like the worst person in the world.

"I thought you're my friend."

"I am your friend."

"When were you going to tell me? Or did you even consider telling me?"

It was amazing how the taller blonde could stay calm, considering what she just found out.

"I didn't want to hurt you, Kate."

"Really? You didn't think kissing my girlfriend would hurt me?" Kate's voice rose slightly in exasperation. This was the only moment since their conversation started that the taller blonde showed frustration over the situation.

The dancer knew she had no defense to that. To be honest, if she were given an opportunity to change anything that happened on the yacht, she wouldn't have changed what happened at the topdeck. That one moment with Santana was the happiest she'd been in a long time, even if it was temporary.

There was no use to deny it.

"Kate-" No matter how hard she tried, Brittany knows that she can never make the truth less painful to her friend.

"All this time, you lied to me."

"What was I supposed to do? I can't just tell you, _'hey Kate, guess what, I'm that girl your girlfriend was in love with!'_. I don't want to embarrass you in front of her family. I don't want to make things awkward between us. Santana's happy with you, she's better with you, Kate. I'm not going to stand in the way of her happiness or yours."

"So why did you kiss her? If you were so concerned about me, why did you kiss my girlfriend when I was just around the corner? Did you even consider my feelings when you were kissing Santana?"

"I'm sorry..."

"You had your chance with her and you blew it. You pushed her away. So why did you have to do this now, Brittany? Why do you have to ruin everything?" Kate had stopped crying at that point. She felt bitter and angry, and now she's taking it out on Brittany.

Highschool seemed less complicated now, when they used to fight over boys that neither of them really cared about.

"Santana loves you, Kate. You have to believe that."

"But not the way she loves you. She's still in love with you Brittany. Do you even realize how lucky you are?"

"Kate, I know it's my fault. I'm sorry, but please don't-"

But before Brittany could even say anything else, her friend was already running out of the door.

"Kate!" The dancer tried to run after Kate, but the pilot had always been better at running. Kate had already screeched away in her Audi before Brittany could even get to the parking lot.

She was too late.

Dinner was ready when Santana finally parked her Ford Mustang in front of Kate's house. She was dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a white v-neck. The tickets from Noah secured inside her purse. As soon as Kate opened the door, the lawyer felt there was something wrong. Her girlfriend just gave her a peck on the lips instead of her usual 'I-can't-wait-to-make-out-with-you' kiss.

Santana ignored the change in Kate's demeanor and just assumed that she must be tired. Kate quietly led her to the dining room where they took opposite chairs. There was nothing romantic about it. The blonde just ordered pizza from their favorite place just down the block and picked up some dumplings somewhere.

While Santana was enjoying the dumplings, her girlfriend's silence was starting to worry her. She didn't seem to be in the mood, so she reached for her purse and pulled out the envelope from Noah, hoping that it would make Kate smile at least.

"Hey babe, you're going back to work in a few days and I was hoping that we could have more time together. I mean, you'd be gone for months again and I would really miss you, so… here." Santana placed the tickets on top of the table.

Kate's eyes darted from her plate to the tickets. Then she looked up at Santana. The brunette was smiling at her, expecting her answer. Santana reached for Kate's right hand and intertwined their hands together.

For a while, Kate just watched their hands. She couldn't help but smile. It always felt so good having Santana's hand with hers.

Santana smiled back, but the fact that Kate's smile did not reach her eyes did not get past her.

"We've never been to Bora Bora together. I like doing this with you, Kate." Santana gestured on their table and their food. "But I'd like to go to fancy dinners with you too. I want to have alone time with you without anyone else bothering us. I want to get away from here, from work, from everything worrisome about LA and just be with you. So, babe, come to Bora Bora with me."

Reluctantly, Kate turned her eyes from their hands to Santana's eyes. She sighed. She knew she was going to miss those eyes so much.

"I'm not going, Santana." Kate sounded apologetic, but determined at the same time. Santana looked on, confused.

"What? But I thought you still have a few days off. My boss allowed me to go on-leave and I intend to take advantage of it." Santana tugged on Kate's hand to get her attention again, the blonde seemed to be at a loss. "Babe, is something wrong? Why wouldn't you want to go with me?"

"Because I'm breaking up with you."

Well, she certainly didn't expect that for an answer.

She waited for the avalanche of feelings, the assault of tears, but nothing came. Santana just sat there, looking back at the sad eyes of her girlfriend. Kate was trying her damn best not to cry. But Santana just knew that Kate wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer. She contemplated on what to say. Was she supposed to object? Was she supposed to beg Kate not to leave her?

Confused, that was how she felt at the sudden decision. She wouldn't say she was relieved. She never wanted to hurt Kate because she did love her. She wouldn't say she was lonely, because right now, she just felt like an empty shell, devoid of any real emotion.

Where was this even coming from? They were just supposed to have dinner.

"I heard you call out Brittany's name. That last morning at the yacht, before we sailed back to Veracruz, you called Brittany's name. You don't just dream about your friends. You don't just call their names in the most intimate way in your sleep. It's not normal." Kate explained after seeing utter confusion on the brunette's face.

Santana was surprised to hear that. And she knew she had no choice. She knew it was time to tell her the truth. She was tired of trying to hide and fight it anyway. Pausing a moment to gather her courage, she pulled back her hand.

"It wasn't just a dream... It's a memory..." The Latina did not even have to think of what dream. There was only one dream that kept coming back to her, and that was the night before Brittany first left for Paris. "It was her… That first time you saw me crying on the plane... It was Brittany. Brittany was the one who broke my heart in Paris..."

"I know." Of course, Kate knew that already.

"What? How-"

"I saw the kiss."

_Oh._

"And then it hit me. Did you even think about telling me?"

"I didn't want to hurt you." Santana was genuinely concerned about her feelings, but Kate was too hurt now to even care.

"Funny. Brittany said the same thing. I swear you two are like soulmates or something and I hate it. I'm so jealous of it." Kate was full-on crying now. Santana was about to get up from her chair to hug her but Kate stopped her.

She didn't want to be comforted or hugged. Nothing could comfort her right now. The blonde just wanted this all done and over with.

"I thought I could look past it. I thought it didn't mean anything. But there was this eye-opening moment when everything just clicked. I'd been a little slow getting it, probably because I trusted both of you too much. And that you forgot to mention how small this world is. I finally knew what those looks meant, those little inside jokes that only the two of you could understand. It was her. Brittany was the girl you followed to Paris."

"I'm sorry… Hurting you was never my intention. But like I told you before we started dating, she's a part of my past. Brittany was my past and you're my present, Kate."

"And who do you see in your future?"

Santana stared, not knowing what to say. She never really thought about that before.

"Let's stop fooling ourselves here, shall we? You're still in love with Brittany."

"I'm not."

"Are you saving face or are you saying that because you sincerely want to salvage this relationship?"

Santana looked defeated. Even her courtroom skills were not enough to help her on this one. Honestly, she didn't want to fight anymore. Kate was right anyway.

She's still in love with Brittany.

"You said you love her in your sleep. You never said that about me." Kate did not bother to mask the bitterness, hurt and pain.

The brunette felt the twinge of guilt on her chest again. Was her heartache ever going to end?

"Kate, I do love you."

"I know. I never doubted that. But we both know it's not enough. There's nothing left to save."

"Kate..."

"I love you, Santana. I want you for myself. But... Despite of all these feelings I have for you, all I really care about is your happiness. I want you but if being with me would not make you happy, then I'm not going to be happy. So I'm setting you free."

It was then that Santana felt something.

She felt alone and lonely.

It's the same feeling she had when she woke up without Brittany in her bed. And that's when she felt the tears falling from her eyes.

"I'm so sorry…"

"Yeah. Me too."

Both of them stood and they gravitated towards each other. Kate wrapped her arms around Santana tightly and Santana did the same, both taking pleasure in the remaining time that they had.

"Please don't think that I never loved you…" Santana managed to say in between tears. "I'm really sorry, Kate…"

"Goodbye, Santana…" Kate kissed Santana on her forehead before the blonde pulled away from the embrace and went to the stairs, away from her now ex-girlfriend.

Santana was alone in the dining room of Kate's house. She grabbed a tissue, wiped her tears, took one last look around the house, and whispered…

"Goodbye, Kate…"

Quinn Fabray was forced out of her sleep. Her cellphone kept ringing and despite her cancelling them, the calling just became more insistent. Finally paying attention as to who was bothering her, she realized it was Santana. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table. She groaned.

It was 2:00 a.m. The photographer begrudgingly got out of bed, never bothering to check her appearance on the mirror, and tiptoed through the hallway as she passed her daughter's bedroom on her way to the stairs.

She was surprised when she opened the door to a disheveled Santana.

"Santana, it's 2 o'clock in the morning... Why aren't you sleeping? That's what normal people do." Quinn let her friend into her living room and closed the door behind them. The brunette slumped on the couch.

"Look, I'm sorry for coming at this unholy hour, but my mind is doing tricks, I couldn't stop thinking, I couldn't sleep... I need to talk to someone, and I got nowhere else to go... I'm sorry..."

Quinn remained standing as she crossed her arms.

"What's wrong?" Quinn knew perfectly that something was wrong.

"Kate broke up with me."

"What?"

"She told me she couldn't be with me because I'm in love with Brittany."

"Well, are you?" Quinn raised an eyebrow. Santana did not see the look on her friend's face because she kept looking everywhere else but at Quinn.

Santana didn't answer. It's not like she had to. Quinn already knew the answer to that.

"How about Kate, do you love her?"

"Love is a relative term."

"We're back to square one again, aren't we?" Quinn's sympathetic look almost broke Santana down. The blonde leaned closer and enveloped her friend in a hug.

"Truth is, when you said you were over Britt, I never believed you for one minute. But Santana, is it worth it? Is it worth hurting Kate for someone who's so indecisive about you?"

"I don't know."

"What happened? Tell me how you and Kate got from dancing to slow wedding songs to breaking up." Quinn was fully awake now. This was going to be a long conversation so she took a seat beside Santana.

"She kissed me."

"Who?"

"Brittany kissed me."

"When?"

"At my aunt's wedding anniversary, she kissed me on the yacht. Kate was at the ballroom and I was there, at the sundeck returning Brittany's kiss... I know that was wrong, okay? My mind kept telling me to back off, but I couldn't... I didn't want to." Santana said the last part with the tone of a petulant little child.

"Brittany kissed you?"

"Yes."

"So what happens now? What does this mean for you and Brittany?"

"I don't really know. Brittany sucks when it comes to talking about feelings and I can't even tell if she's just trying to ruin my life or if she's messing with my brain or if she has actual, genuine feelings for me. Am I supposed to guess based on her actions? So what are the chances? I probably just have a really wild imagination..."

"You didn't imagine her kissing you."

"No, that was definitely real."

Quinn paused to contemplate for a moment before voicing out her suspicions.

"Did you really believe, even for just a moment that everything that happened between you and Brittany, didn't mean anything to her?"

"What are you saying?"

"Maybe that one night with you wasn't just sex."

Santana looked surprised and confused at Quinn.

"What, don't you know the girl you're in love with? She's too decent to engage in such random things. Honestly, I still couldn't believe what you'd always believed—that you were just her 'one last fling' in LA. A fling? I know too well that she wouldn't go that far for a fling, and with a girl for that matter. Even if it would've been her last. I don't think she even ever considered dating a woman. She slept with you, shattered your heart but came back to make amends, tolerated you despite how much of a pain in the ass you are, and then she kissed you. Knowing that your girlfriend, who also happened to be her friend, might catch you, she took that risk to kiss you. What do you think is that about?"

"Are you telling me now that-"

"I'm telling you to stop jumping into conclusions. Go, talk to her. Maybe there's something more to this than what she's telling, or not telling you. No supposedly straight girl in her right mind would go on kissing another girl who has a girlfriend just around the corner for fun. That definitely would be uncharacteristic of Brittany."

Pause...

"Some people are just afraid, Santana. Maybe she's afraid. I would be. I don't think she ever expected someone like you coming into her life."

Santana thought of it. But she was exhausted. So she veered the conversation away from Brittany and went to another interesting thing that happened the previous day.

"I got the letter from the United Nations yesterday."

"What?"

"That dream job I've always wanted—the position in The Registry of the International Court of Justice in The Netherlands. It's being offered to me."

"Wow, uh... So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Quinn. I don't have much time to confirm. I want to go there but I still have to think about it."

"About the UN job or about Brittany?"

"Both."

"Where do you plan to go?"

"Some place far from here where I wouldn't have to fight the temptation of seeing Brittany..."

Thanks to Noah, Santana found herself alone in a room at St. Regis Resort in Bora Bora a couple of days later. She spent her first day being pampered with massages, a body scrub, and a facial treatment. The second day, she took a tour, watched a Polynesian dance, and tried stargazing. She didn't enjoy it though. It just made her wish she came with someone. On the third day, well, the need for alcohol became too much. There wasn't much nightlife in Bora Bora and restaurants usually closed at 9:00 p.m. Luckily, her third day fell on a Saturday, which meant Club Med opened and she could finally have fun and party.

Santana had been walking around, waiting to get an empty seat at the bar. With already a half-full drink in her hand, a chair did not really matter. But as she planned to stay longer, she didn't mind waiting.

Until she bumped into someone, sending the contents of her glass all over her clothes. Her normal reaction would be to scream at the stupid person who clashed into her but she had no energy. Instead, she just ignored the person.

"Assistant District Attorney Santana Lopez." The other person called her name, which surprised Santana. The person who bumped into her sounded so sure about her identity. And out of curiosity, she finally turned her gaze to look at whom the voice belonged to.

Santana stood staring. The person before looked all too familiar but she could not place her somewhere.

Then her jaw dropped.

"Hallie?" Santana was more than astounded.

Hallie Pierce was older, taller, and prettier. And she looked a lot more like Brittany.

"I thought you wouldn't remember. It took you quite a while there." Hallie chuckled. The younger Pierce had darker blonde hair and had that air of roguishness in her.

"Wow, you've... Grown. A lot." Santana laughed at herself and opened her arms for a big hug. Hallie walked towards her and embraced her. Even at her age, Hallie towered over the brunette.

"Sorry about that." Hallie apologized, referring to the collision.

"I forgive you, but just this one time." Santana joked as she pulled away. "I'm surprised to see you here."

"Not as surprised as I am. You never visited after my sister left. Ever. And just so you know, I haven't forgiven you." Hallie joked back.

"Then we're even... So, how did you get in here, and," Santana looked around as if looking for someone. "Are you here with a boyfriend? Please say no because you're a minor, and I'm a prosecutor." Santana laughed, disregarding the fact that Brittany's sister shouldn't be in a bar.

"Don't have one."

"Really? I'm sure those highschool boys would kill each other for you." The Pierces seemed to have really good genes.

"Thanks. Too bad for them, I'm not into highschool boys. Especially when I limited my choices to doctors AND lawyers." Hallie joked, grinning at her. "I always thought you were cute." Hallie gave her an exaggerated wink that got the lawyer laughing so hard.

"What am I, a teddy bear? And hey, you're fifteen. You're too young to date doctors and lawyers." Santana playfully punched Hallie on her right shoulder.

"There are no boundaries in love anymore, Santana. And for your information, I'm sixteen."

"There's a difference? So, who are you with, friends, parents?" Santana let her eyes wander in search for Hallie's possible companions.

"Actually-" Hallie did not have to finish her sentence upon realizing that Santana's eyes finally locked onto the person Santana had been asking about.

It was Brittany.

The dancer was standing on her right not so far away, watching them.

Santana looked away. She felt a lump on her throat as Brittany walked towards them. She wasn't really expecting or hoping to see Brittany today. That's the reason why she went here in the first place. Bora Bora was really far and filled with people.

"Hi, Santana."

"Hello, Britt."

The two curtly nodded at each other and exchanged a tight-lipped smile. The tension-filled atmosphere did not escape Hallie. She shifted her eyes back and forth between Santana and her sister, who stood silently for a few seconds. Then Santana cleared her throat.

"Did you know I was here?" Brittany asked casually while making her way towards them.

"No. Seeing you was actually the last thing on my mind right now."

Hallie was intrigued. This certainly wasn't the way Brittany and Santana interacted with each other. Santana, feeling Hallie's eyes on her, turned her eyes back to the younger Pierce.

"I got to go. See you around. Bye, Hallie." Santana smiled at Hallie and purposely avoided looking at Brittany.

"Hey, we're staying at the Four Seasons if you want to hang out sometime." Hallie called after Santana. Santana caught the wince on Hallie's face as Brittany elbowed her at her ribs.

"I'll try to remember that." Santana smiled.

As the sisters watched Santana walk away, Hallie couldn't help but say-

"Yummy lips..." The youngest Pierce grinned.

Brittany looked astounded and embarrassed, and glared at Hallie.

"What? I'm just saying." Hallie rolled her eyes at her sister whose face was so red. Brittany marched away from Hallie to go back to their table.

The rest of the night was uneventful. But neither Santana nor Brittany got enough sleep.

On Santana's fourth day at Bora Bora, she went on another tour, fed sharks and stingrays, went to see museums, and waited for the beautiful sunset.

Santana sat on the sand, her arms wrapped around her knees, while her Canon DSLR lay forgotten on her side. Her first few days in the island were exciting. There seemed to be endless activities to keep her busy and keep her mind off things. But she was running out of things to do the longer she stayed. The feeling of loneliness starts to creep in, and the fact that Brittany was in the same island with her wasn't exactly helping.

She felt defeated and exhausted. All those years away from Brittany, all her time with Kate, they were starting to feel like they didn't happen. She was back to feeling exactly like the time Brittany broke her heart. So what was she to do now? Was she supposed to pine after Brittany again? It was becoming a cycle and Santana just wanted it to stop. Moving on was never an option though. She tried that and where did that get her?

_Back to square one. _

The timing of the job offer at the International Court of Justice, one of the five organs of the United Nations, couldn't have been more perfect. She could bury herself with work and maybe forget that she actually had a life.

The brunette picked up her camera and took shots of the setting sun. It was so beautiful. Her mind wandered to the thought of what it would be like to watch it with Brittany.

It must have been wonderful.

Santana got up and strapped the camera onto her right shoulder. She'd had enough of feeling miserable today. Maybe the alcohol in the fridge of her hotel room could get her through. Just as she was walking away from her spot on the sand, she heard her name being called by someone behind her.

"Santana."

She was surprised. But there was no need to turn and see to whom that voice belongs to. She could recognize that voice anywhere.

"San, wait."

"Why don't you just shoot me?" Santana growled at Brittany, not stopping, but turning her head to give her a brief look.

"Look, I don't know why we both ended up here, of all the places in the world. Not everything is my fault, you know. Maybe it's fate. Maybe we're supposed to be here so we could have... closure." Brittany increased her pace. Good thing she had long legs—longer strides.

"Closure? You're kidding, right? Do you really think I could have closure? There's obviously nothing I could do to close the chapter of my life involving you. I just can't. It's my curse." Santana turned to Brittany as if she just lost her head.

Or maybe the long legs weren't helping. Brittany was having a hard time catching up with Santana.

"Where are you going? I'm talking to you. San!" Brittany's voice was louder, more determined. But she was nowhere near to stopping the stubborn, and apparently annoyed, lawyer.

"Santana Marie Lopez!"

Brittany shouted her full name that made some people around stop. Santana stopped walking. Brittany, like her mother, only calls her by her full name when she's really mad.

"What?" Grudgingly, she turned around, an eyebrow raised.

"You don't want to see me, I get it. Just-"

"Actually, you don't because I do want to see you. I love looking at you... I-" Santana trailed off, avoiding Brittany's eyes. She let her eyes focus on the sand, but she couldn't help it when her eyes gravitated towards a pair of blues. "It's your eyes that I want to see first in the morning, and the last before I go to sleep and kiss you goodnight. I want to pick you up from work, take you to dinner and watch a cheesy chick flick with you, or maybe some occasional concert or surprise Rachel in one of her Broadway shows. When I receive the special invite for Kurt's next fashion show, I don't want to see just my name on it, I want to see ours. I want to buy you flowers and chocolates for no reason. When Quinn has to go to work out of town and forces me to babysit Beth again, I want to babysit her with you. I want to visit my grandparents' cabin in Aspen on winters with you so we could cuddle in front of the fireplace and drink on the same cup of coffee. I want to take you to Prague, Barcelona, Tuscany, Paris, Monte Carlo, and everywhere that sounds romantic and take tons of photos of us that I could place in lame photo albums that I could show off to my friends. I want to be able to go home to you after a long day at work, just spend some quiet time with you, maybe massage your feet when I know you're tired as well, I just... And now, seeing you here makes me want all those things even more and it hurts that all I can do is stand here and look at you and... Just so you know, it's taking all of my energy here to not wrap my arms around you and never let go... I know I'm not supposed do that. We decided to stay away from each other."

Brittany's eyes watered. She couldn't say anything for a while, letting Santana's words ring in her head, then finding her voice again.

"No. YOU decided." Brittany corrected.

Santana heard her sigh in defeat.

"And you made the right decision... Because I'll probably just cause you more pain, like what I keep doing, and I... I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Gee, thanks." Santana said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry..."

"If I kept track of how many times you've said that word to me since you came back, I'd probably have ran out of fingers already."

"I'm a coward, okay?... When you asked me how I feel about you, I didn't answer, and I probably hurt you more by not saying anything, but... I'm not like you, Santana..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not as brave as you. It had always been hard for me, trying to understand this... This feeling when I'm with you. You make me really, really happy, and... I like that feeling, but I'm not- I can't..."

"So you do have feelings for me? What kind?" Santana challenged her, knowing that Brittany would just avoid answering like she always does.

Brittany just continued.

"You're sure about yourself. You know who you are and you know exactly how you feel about me. That's the difference between us. I don't know what to think about this whole thing. I haven't felt this way about any guy, and I've never been attracted to a woman before... San, you're one of a kind… There was never a day that I didn't think of you all those time that I was away, and it's driving me crazy... Seeing you with Kate is driving me even crazier, it makes me want to pick up an ice skate and use its blade on someone."

"Crazy is not a feeling, it's a state of mind. That doesn't really explain why you slept with me or why you kissed me, Brittany. I just wanted to know if you love me or not. It's that simple."

"Well, I'm complicated. Weren't you the one who told me that?"

"Yeah... And out of all the complications in my life, you're the most painful one to deal with." Santana turned to leave.

"This isn't easy for me, San… Please…"

Letting out a deep breath, Brittany closed her eyes momentarily. She did not expect to see Santana at Bora Bora at all. It was ironic that both of them were trying to stay away from each other, going to the farthest places they could, and yet they still ended up bumping into each other. Just like now.

When she opened her eyes again, Brittany finally said what she came to say.

"I just need tonight."

"What?"

"I don't deserve to ask you for anything, but... Will you have dinner with me?"

"Will Hallie be there?"

"I was hoping it would be just you and me."

"Just you and me? What, are you asking me out on a date? Because I think we're way past that stage of dating." The lawyer did not even bother to mask the sarcasm.

"It doesn't have to be a date. It could be just dinner. You know, whatever you want to call it. Please, I just want to remember how it feels like to be with you, even if it's for the last time. Just this one last time, then I'll leave you alone. I'll let you go on with your life and find the happiness that you deserve. Just a nice, pleasant evening together, without the complications."

A night alone with Brittany in this small and romantic French Polynesian island was a tempting offer. But Santana couldn't help but have reservations.

"I promise, no pineapple on your pizza." Brittany smiled.

"We're having pizza?" The brunette frowned.

Brittany laughed and shook her head.

"No. I was just trying to make you smile. Do you know that if you frown too much you're going to develop wrinkles on your forehead?"

Santana did smile.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Brittany was surprised.

"Was I of the wrong impression that it was the answer you were hoping for?"

"No, I... That's exactly what I wanted to hear." The smile on Brittany's face was touching Santana's heart. Santana just had to look away, reminding herself to find a way to resist that smile.

"Just promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Stay away from my comfort zone."

"What?" Brittany frowned in confusion.

"Just don't get too close... Proximity without intimacy is- well, torture." Santana honestly replied, then walked away.


	8. Confessions Part 2

**CHAPTER 8 CONFESSIONS PART 2**

"Seriously Britt, you need to chill." Hallie sat by her sister's bed, looking amused. The older Pierce briefly looked at her before rummaging through her closet again, exasperated.

"I have nothing to wear. How can I not have anything to wear?" Brittany began throwing clothes behind her as she inspected every article of clothing that she brought with her.

"Try casual. Where are you going anyway?" Hallie was bored. She wanted to go diving but the sun was about to set. Dinner with her sister was the next on her list, but Brittany decided to take a rain check and told her to stay in her room and just order in. She wondered what her sister was up to, but by the looks of her sister's current condition, the possibility struck her almost immediately.

"Just dinner with Santana." Brittany tried to play it cool, but it was pretty obvious she wasn't. She was nervous. She was so nervous she was going to be alone with Santana again. Anxious excited, but still nervous.

"I don't think you need to impress her." Hallie grinned.

Brittany's ears which were on Hallie's full view turned visibly red, a tell-tale sign of self-consciousness that Hallie was perfectly aware of.

"I'm not trying to impress anyone."

"Right." Far from believing Brittany, Hallie continued. "And I'm the Queen of England. I can't believe you're leaving me, your _little sister,_ for a date. I don't blame you, though."

Brittany's ears turned redder, if that was possible.

"It's not a date. And please, don't act like you'd miss me. The only reason why you came here with me was because I paid for everything."

"You know me too well. You know, it would be much cooler if you'd let me do stuff on my own."

"Ha. Not a chance. I'm never letting you do anything on this island alone."

"I'm not a baby, Britt."

"You are my baby sister."

"But I'm 16!"

"15." Brittany corrected.

"I bet Santana would let me do stuff if she was my sister."

"Well, she's not."

"Not for long." Hallie mumbled.

"What?" Brittany didn't catch what her sister said as she was still busy choosing between a short, blue, sundress and a tank top. The sundress was cute and really feminine, while the tank top was too casual for her liking.

"I'd choose the sundress."

"Me too." The dancer got up from the floor and made a dash to the bathroom to try the dress on.

Meanwhile, Hallie couldn't help but roll her eyes at her sister's excitement. Bored, she grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. There was nothing that interested her but she kept switching channels anyway, something to keep her entertained.

Brittany came back bouncing into the room with a wide grin on her face, now wearing the sundress that brought out the color of her eyes.

Hallie rolled her eyes again.

_Not a date. Right. Who are you kidding, Britt?_

"How do I look?" Brittany suddenly felt self-conscious as she waited for her sister's approval.

"Stunning." Hallie smiled.

Brittany was pleased and smiled back, then walked to the full-length mirror in the corner of the room, looked over her outfit, twirled and examined herself again. The smile on her face was replaced by a look of hesitation.

"You don't think it's too much?"

"I think _you_ are thinking too much when this is not even a date." Hallie emphasized, side-eyeing Brittany, pretending to be interested at the show on TV.

"Maybe I should change." Brittany started to pick up another article of clothing on her closet when a pair of hands stopped her by the wrist.

"No."

"But-"

"You are Brittany Pierce. No matter how much you try, you can never look bad. If Santana has a problem with that, then she just has to suck it up and deal with it. So, go fix your hair, choose some nice flip flops and get on your way." That moment, the dark blonde felt like the older sister. When she saw the smile back in Brittany's face, she couldn't help but hug her.

Hallie liked Santana. She was much younger when they first met, when Brittany brought her home for dinner one time. Even their parents were ecstatic when they met the then-future lawyer. Brittany seemed happy with her. While Hallie knew that Brittany's relationship with Santana didn't go beyond friendship, she saw something there. She wasn't sure what it was. She was too young then, but she definitely could tell what it was now. You'd have to be blind not to know—with the way Brittany blushes when Santana was around, the way she talks about her, how defensive her sister gets when Hallie referred to this dinner as a date.

Truth is, she wondered why after so long, those two still weren't together.

They fit perfectly together.

Brittany didn't want to call their dinner a date, but it was so obvious that she wanted it to be one. Hallie wondered what was stopping her sister. She was single, Santana was single. So maybe Brittany had never dated a girl in her life, but their attraction was so palpable anyone could feel it.

"You have to let go of me now because I don't want to be late for my date." Brittany slipped and realized it very soon. "I mean dinner. I don't want to be late for my dinner." The blonde mumbled in embarrassment.

Hallie was about to tease her as they pulled away, but she decided against it. Suppressing a laugh, Hallie walked back to the bed and sat on it, flipping the channels again as the dancer went about the room, put some lip gloss on, found her flip flops, and picked up a purse.

"I thought you didn't want to be late?" Hallie frowned at the blonde.

After taking forever to fix her hair, Brittany was finally ready to leave. She pulled Hallie out of her bed. She was clearly dozing off already. The dark blonde grunted at her.

"Go sleep in your room. You better behave and stay in tonight, Hallie Pierce."

"You're no fun." Hallie pouted, her pout resembling Britt's, marching out of the room while scratching her head.

Brittany watched her sister with an adoring smile.

After following the instructions Brittany sent through, Santana found herself in a rather secluded area near Brittany's hotel. It was quiet and peaceful with a few people around, having dinner and talking. Tables were set near the palm trees. They were set far enough to be able to avoid hearing the other table's conversation. There were no chairs though, just low, small tables, throw pillows, picnic blankets, and candles.

She looked around, looking for that familiar blonde hair and bright blue eyes. The text did say Brittany was already there, and Santana couldn't help but feel excited.

_The things I'd do for Brittany._ Santana sighed. That's when her eyes found a pair of blues, glimmering with relief and happiness and the smile on her face widened. Was Brittany really that happy to see her?

"Nunca he visto a nadie tan hermoso." Santana spoke as she stopped in front of Brittany who was sitting down on one side of the table with her legs crossed.

"What does that mean?" Brittany eyed her curiously.

"I have never seen someone so beautiful." The brunette mumbled, shy all of a sudden. Brittany smiled, and motioned for her to sit down.

"You look beautiful as well, San." Brittany's eyes lingered at the unbuttoned part of Santana's white shirt before she turned away and blushed when she realized what she had just done. And Santana's short-shorts didn't help reduce her blush either.

Santana now sat opposite her, looking around, probably for a server.

"I ordered for us already. I hope you don't mind." Brittany said.

"It's okay." Santana smiled.

They sat in silence, waiting for their food to be served. Santana thought of things to say. They did agree to make this night 'uncomplicated', so, what were they supposed to talk about? Like she told Quinn over Skype earlier, it was just a friendly dinner so, how friendly were they supposed to be?

Santana's eyes focused at the sight of the shimmering lagoon and the silhouette of Mt. Otemanu. This felt more romantic than it was supposed to. What was she even doing here? The minute she saw Brittany at the island, all her reasons for being here went out the window.

The simple truth was she just couldn't resist Brittany. It would've been a useless effort to even try. Her mind went back to the first day it all began, the first time she looked at those blue eyes and that feeling—like fireworks were exploding inside her, the first time that she was actually speechless.

_It was morning of the weekend right after her midterm examinations. Santana was on her second year of pre-law at Stanford University. After a grueling month, she wanted to do something to relax. So she went to this quaint little bookshop selling used books not so far away from the campus. Reading had always been one of her favorite things to do, but this time, she was going to read for fun. She didn't plan on reading anything connected to her studies. The shop was practically empty, as usual. It was one of the reasons she loved this place so much. It was a place she could indulge herself in the tranquility. Not to mention the freshly brewed coffee. God, nothing beats their coffee. _

_When she entered, she nodded, greeting at the owner—Sally, a middle-aged woman, who sat by the counter. Her frequent trips to the shop got them acquainted. Sally, who had a daughter slightly older than her was so fond of Santana that she gave her discounts on her book purchases every now and then. _

_Santana headed to her favorite table at the corner and placed her bag down. She planned on staying at the shop the whole day, passing the time away to avoid her nosy roommate, Dawn, who wouldn't stop bugging her with questions on how she came out and how she managed the looks and the talks and all the other shit she dealt with. She wondered why her roommate was so curious, but she had a hunch her roommate was probably a closeted lesbian on the verge of losing it. From what she heard, Dawn was from the Midwest and had a really conservative family, unlike hers who was reluctant at first, but accepting nonetheless. _

_She felt sorry for her roommate. _

_She walked towards the counter to order her usual cup of coffee and some cookies. Right after, she headed for the bookshelves where she usually found gems, books that you don't usually find in an ordinary bookstore. There were also the contemporary ones, but Santana rarely read those. _

_Santana scanned the title of the books, tilting her head in the process to see them clearly. Not finding anything, she went to another aisle, but suddenly remembering an interesting title on the previous one, she didn't even bother to walk back (she's that lazy). Instead, she reached for the book from where she stood without seeing the title. If her memory served her right, it was there, but when she pulled, someone pulled as well._

_The brunette frowned. She pulled again, this time, harder, but the other person on the other side pulled at the same time. _

_That's when she peeked, and saw the most beautiful pair of crystal blue eyes staring back at her._

_Santana froze. _

_In a normal situation, she would have already yelled at the other person, regardless of the twinkle in those eyes that seemed to make her knees turn into jelly. Both of them were still holding on to the book. She couldn't see the other person's whole face though. Santana could just see her eyes. And if those eyes were this beautiful, she wondered what seeing the rest of the person who owned them would do to her. _

_She'd probably faint. _

"_Hi." _

_The lovely voice pulled out the brunette from her musings and back to earth. She strained to say something back._

"_Hi." She croaked. 'Hi? Really? That's all you could say?' Santana wanted to hit herself on the head. What was happening to her anyway? _

"_You're kind of still holding on to my book." _

_Santana saw the blonde hair framing the face of the woman with the blue eyes. And she could trace the amusement on the blonde's voice as she spoke. Recovering from what seemed like a bus hit, she did not let go. _

"_I don't see your name on it, Miss…?" Santana smiled. That was smooth enough, right? The giggling from the other girl made her blush. _

"_Brittany. My name is Brittany."_

"_I'm Santana."_

"_You have a beautiful name, Santana."_

"_And you have gorgeous eyes, Brittany." _

_Both turned away at the same time, visibly blushing. Brittany was the first to pull through and cleared her throat to ease the sudden tension between them. _

"_Careful, I might think you're hitting on me." _

"_Maybe I am. Would that be so bad?" Santana grinned._

"_No, if I swing that way."_

"_Way to break my heart the first two minutes that we met, Brittany. Good game though." Santana joked and they both laughed. This conversation/flirting seemed like the most normal thing for them to do, it was like they had already known each other._

"_You're charming, Santana, but I'm still not letting go of this book." _

"_Okay. I'm letting go now, but don't you run with it." If Santana's arm weren't already feeling strained, she would've held onto the book longer. _

"_How about a compromise?" Brittany proposed, making Santana raise an eyebrow._

"_Compromise?" Santana watched as the blue eyes disappeared in front of her. She heard the footsteps which seemed to be heading her way. _

_Her heart started pounding against her chest, fighting to get out. Why was she so nervous to see this woman anyway? So she turned to where the footsteps where coming from, and as the blonde rounded the aisle and finally turned her face, blue eyes meeting brown, Santana felt as if really was going to faint. _

_The force that was Brittany was walking towards her, with that beautiful smile, and the book that she probably will thank for the rest of her life. _

_Then she asked herself, did she ever believe in love at first sight? _

"_Santana?" _

"_Huh?"_

"_Hi." _

"_Hi." _

"_I was saying that maybe we should exchange numbers. You know, so, we could just exchange books, and-"_

"_Careful Brittany, or I might think you were the one hitting on me now." _

"_Well, you don't look too bad, Santana." Brittany fiddled with the book, as if suddenly shy. Santana couldn't help but smile. _

_They stood there, exchanging numbers. When Santana's hand accidentally brushed with Brittany's as she returned the blonde's phone, she almost jumped at the touch. It was so weird how that simple touch could send electric shocks all over her body, straight to her heart. _

_Talk about a heart attack. One more hour with this girl and she'd probably die of a heart failure. No one had ever made her feel this way before. It seemed like a silly thing that writers write to exaggerate stories, who would have thought that it was real? That you could actually feel all those things?_

_They agreed that Brittany would read the book first, and then she would call Santana when she was done. Santana only agreed if Brittany would let her pay for it. So, she took the book to Sally, pulled some bills from her pocket, and when she looked up, she saw that weird look on Sally's face._

"_What?"_

"_Didn't realize this was your kind of read, Santana." Sally joked as she punched the amount of the book into the old cash register. _

_Santana frowned, then for the first time she looked at the book._

_She realized that she was fighting for an old copy of The Notebook._

_She almost slapped her forehead. _

_Yup, Sally was right. It was definitely not her kind of genre. It wasn't the book she was reaching for, but Brittany didn't need to know that. Just as she thought minutes ago, she felt the need to thank Nicholas Sparks. _

_Santana just smiled at Sally._

"_Well, I thought I'd read something lame for a change." Santana handed the money to Sally. _

"_Enjoy. Your girlfriend is beautiful, by the way." Sally grinned at Santana. _

"_Wha… I…" Santana turned to look at Brittany who was staring at her, still with that smile. Santana smiled back, and without correcting Sally or looking away from Brittany, she said, "Thanks."_

_Nobody knew, but Brittany was the only reason why she read The Notebook._

When Santana stopped spacing, she realized that food was already in front of her and Brittany was talking about a multi-course Polynesian meal. She stared, watching as the blonde rambled about how good this meal would be, how she found out about it online. She wasn't really listening. She was just sitting there, watching Brittany's lips move, her eyes twinkle everytime she thought of saying something interesting. The blonde was obviously being careful about not crossing dangerous waters, but regardless of the mundane, silly things that Brittany came up with, Santana didn't care. All she cared about was being here with Brittany.

"We look good together, you know." Santana said out of nowhere, making Brittany blush again that night.

"So I've heard." Brittany smiled but avoided looking at Santana just for good measure. Those brown orbs were making her feel all sorts of things and tonight was supposed to be just dinner. No complications. That's what she promised Santana.

"Do you remember the first time we met?"

"Of course. You were stealing my book." Brittany joked.

"Yeah, well, I still haven't got the chance to thank Nicholas Sparks." Santana waited for Brittany to look at her before speaking again. "Sally thought that you were my girlfriend."

The blonde's forehead creased in confusion.

"Sally, you know, the owner of the bookshop." Santana reminded her.

"Oh, right." The blonde looked embarrassed for not remembering.

"I never corrected her."

Brittany did not really know what to say to that. So she just smiled.

"Aren't you hungry?" Brittany noticed that Santana wasn't touching her food.

"No. Right now, I just want to look at you. Can I hold your hand?" Santana's heartbreaking voice got to Brittany and the blonde didn't hesitate to reach for Santana's hand, resting them on their table.

"Come here." Brittany murmured as she pulled on Santana's hand. Santana got up and went around the table to sit next to the blonde.

They intertwined their hands, enjoying the feeling of being close to each other.

"Don't think that I don't want this, because I do, but, isn't this against your rule?" The dancer squeezed Santana's hand.

"Quinn said I'd be the first to break my own rule."

"She was right."

"I don't want to pretend that I don't want to be near you, Britt…"

They ate in silence. It was hard to eat with one hand but both of them managed, not really wanting to let go. They held hands like it was the only thing that's keeping them from crying their hearts out. It felt like the last time. Santana knew that it might be. She was leaving for The Netherlands and she was just trying to find a way to tell Brittany.

Brittany liked this. She wished she could be like this with Santana for the rest of her life, but something was stopping her. She was still afraid of so many things. Would her parents accept it? Would Hallie understand? What would her friends say? Would people be open-minded enough to understand her feelings for Santana? If it came down to it, would she be able to fight for Santana? The consequences were endless, and she didn't know if she could handle these feelings for the brunette.

But it felt right being with Santana. It always had been.

_It was Christmas Eve. Brittany found it hard to find a cab so she was wandering New York City by foot. Her destination? Santana's apartment._

_Santana was on her third year in NYU Law and told her that she wasn't coming home to LA for Christmas due to her heavy workload. She was getting busier every semester and they barely saw each other. Not that Brittany could complain. But before Law School, they used to see and talk to each other every day. Santana made it to all of her recitals—never missed one. Sometimes, she even picked her up from her practices. _

_Brittany missed Santana. And the thought of spending Christmas with her was almost shattered when she got that voicemail that the brunette couldn't make it this time. _

_Well, almost. _

_Brittany wasn't going to let Santana spend Christmas cold and alone in New York. Never going to happen. _

_It would've been an understatement to say Santana was surprised when she buzzed Brittany into her apartment at 11:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve. The blonde was wet and cold and holding a box of pizza and a couple of take-outs. Seeing the dancer on her doorstep, Santana couldn't and didn't even bother to stop herself from embracing Brittany._

"_Ugh, San?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_As much as I love the hug, can you let me in? It's really cold out here." Brittany grinned sheepishly. _

"_Oh, sorry! Get in! I'm sorry. I just can't believe you're here." Santana got everything that Brittany brought with her and helped her out of her coat. She hung her coat and led the blonde to the living room and sat her on the couch. The brunette ran to the kitchen and when she got back, she handed Brittany a cup of hot cocoa. _

"_Thanks, San." She gladly accepted the cup. _

_Santana then pulled the blanket resting on the other side of the couch and wrapped it around Brittany._

"_Why are you all wet? Did you walk?" Santana rubbed Brittany's arms through the blanket to keep her warm._

"_Well, it wasn't that far and I'd been waiting for a cab for hours. I didn't want to wait anymore."_

"_Why are you here, Britt? Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked to see you here. But, weren't you supposed to be spending Christmas with your family?"_

"_You told me that you were going to spend Christmas alone this year and I couldn't let that happen. So, I told my parents I was coming to see you this year." _

"_Really? You flew all the way here to spend the holidays with me?" _

"_Yeah. Is that okay?"_

"_Of course it's okay. It's more than okay! Come here and hug me again." Brittany placed the cup of hot cocoa on the center table and buried herself in Santana's shoulders. _

_It felt so good being there, being in Santana's warm embrace, feeling her arms around her waist. Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's neck. She missed her scent. It had been months since they last cuddled in bed. After Christmas, it would probably take another few months before they see each other again, and just thinking about it made her miss Santana too soon. _

"_I didn't know if you had food so I brought pizza." Brittany murmured in Santana's ear, still not breaking the embrace. It tickled Santana and the brunette giggled._

"_Good, I'm hungry." _

"_It has pineapples though. There wasn't much left at the pizza parlor. I'll pick all of those for you so you don't have to eat them." Brittany leaned closer into Santana, making the brunette smile. Santana held her tighter._

"_Who puts pineapple on their pizza anyway?"_

"_No idea."_

"_Do you want to eat now, Britt?"_

"_Not yet, let's stay like this for a while, San…"_

"_Okay…"_

"_San?"_

"_Yes, Britt?"_

"_If Santa were real, what would you ask him?"_

"_For a wish?"_

"_Hmm-mm…"_

"_It already came true." Santana stroke Brittany's hair then gave her a kiss on the side of her head. "You're here." The brunette felt as Brittany's lips on her neck formed into a smile. _

_When they ate the pizza, Brittany really did pick each of the slices of pineapple because Santana didn't like them. And like they normally did, they slept on the same bed and cuddled. But this time and since then, Brittany was the big spoon. _

Brittany realized that Santana was staring at her.

"San?"

"I'm sorry, I… I just want to remember everything about you; how you look tonight, how blue your eyes are, how-"

"You make it sound like we're never going to see each other again." While Brittany did promise that after this, she'll leave Santana alone, it didn't mean that she was going to never see the brunette ever again. She couldn't handle that.

"Britt, I'm going to the Netherlands."

"On vacation?"

"No. For work."

"Oh."

It finally sunk in. The International Court of Justice was in The Hague, in The Netherlands. Before she became a lawyer, Santana always talked about her wanting to work there, to do something important. She had always been passionate about her career, and to work there now was actually later than Brittany expected.

"You're finally making your dreams come true." Brittany forced a smile. She was genuinely happy for the brunette, but still, the smile looked pained.

"Not all of them." Santana held Brittany's stare, daring her to say something, to stop her from leaving.

But Brittany did not.

It felt like déjà vu, although the situation was reversed. It was Santana who was leaving this time. Would they ever have a chance to be like this again? They must've been masochists because they kept doing this to each other.

Time passed. They went through their multi-course meal without so much said, but they didn't need them. They just held onto each other's hands, this time, all of their hands together, and with Santana's head resting on Brittany's shoulder. They just sat there, enjoying being with each other.

They've actually done this romantic dinner a couple of times before without really defining it as a date.

"I love cliche's." Santana voiced out.

"So you wouldn't mind me asking you to dance, again?"

"There's no music." Santana lifted her head up and looked to meet Brittany's eyes.

"Yes we do. Just listen here." Brittany pointed to her heart and Santana's. Santana blushed, all of a sudden feeling giddy but she rolled her eyes at the blonde.

"That is so bad." Santana contained her laughter. But by the looks of Brittany's face, she was damn serious.

"Dance with me, San..." Brittany got up, extending her hand for Santana to take.

"Why do you always beat me to it?" She smiled.

"Just say yes."

"Do I have a choice?" Santana joked, then held on to Brittany's hand who pulled her up.

As they stood, Santana did not really know what to do. She looked around the place. No one was really paying attention to them. The nearest people were actually too far and it seemed like nobody really cared about anyone else's business. Does she wrap her hands on Brittany's waist or neck? Should she distance herself or let her body naturally gravitate towards Brittany? Santana stopped worrying when Brittany reached for Santana's both hands and placed them around her neck.

Santana blushed. Air was knocked out of her chest when Brittany placed her arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

Brittany took the lead and swayed them back and forth in a slow dance, listening to nothing but the sound of the waves hitting the shore, the faint sound of music coming from far away, and the beating of their hearts.

It may have been thirty minutes, or an hour, or two hours, Santana couldn't really tell. All she knew was that she didn't want this night to end.

"So what happens after this? Are we supposed to forget about each other?" Santana asked.

"Is that what you want?" The anxiety was apparent in Brittany's voice.

"No..." It was Santana's honest reply. "Even if I want to, I don't think I could..." Santana pulled Brittany's head closer and leaned her forehead against hers, just like she did back at the cruise.

"I will remember this forever..." Brittany whispered as they kept dancing to the music that only they could hear.

When it was time to part, Brittany and Santana reluctantly did. The walk to Brittany's room at the Four Seasons was quiet. There wasn't even a goodnight when Brittany closed her door on Santana, who just gave her a meaningful look. For a few seconds, Brittany leaned against the closed door, contemplating whether to open it again or not. She felt like the night wasn't over yet, and it wasn't supposed to end like this. She fought the urge to open the door, run after Santana and kiss her senseless. Giving in, Brittany opened the door, ready to run after the brunette, but she found Santana there.

Santana was still standing in front her door, fighting the same urges as her.

And Santana wasted no time pulling her in for a mind-boggling kiss. Brittany didn't think twice to return it, her lips parting when Santana's tongue swiped at her bottom lip, begging to let her in. The brunette couldn't help the groan that escaped from her lips. Santana felt her being pulled into the room and heard the door closed behind her. They blindly found their way to the bed, where Brittany fell on her back when the back of her legs hit its edge, taking Santana with her.

"This isn't going to work, is it?" Santana whispered as they remained intimately close to each other after pulling away when the need for air became too much. She could see the tears threatening to fall from Brittany's eyes.

"I'm sorry..."

The following silence was the most agonizing silence both of them had ever experienced. Neither one of them wanted to pull away, both afraid of losing that warm feeling.

"What does your heart tell you?" Santana asked, her eyes searching Brittany's for a clue. Her right hand stopped on top of Brittany's heart, which she found to be beating as fast as hers. "If loving you is so wrong, then I don't want to be right."

Feeling that need inside of her, Santana leaned in again for one long, passionate kiss, wishing she never had to pull away, but Brittany did.

"I can't... We can't..." Brittany fought hard in setting her own desires aside. And this time, tears finally rolled down from her eyes.

"Do you love me?" Santana knew there wasn't ever going to be an answer, that Brittany would never answer. "Because I love you..."

"Santana, I..."

Brittany's reasoning ended there. She found herself in another passionate, earth-shattering kiss that led to the discarding of each other's clothes. And like what happened four years ago at Santana's apartment, neither of them fought their need for each other.

x- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - x

Brittany stirred on her bed and her eyes fluttered as the rays of sunlight entered the window of her room. She extended her hand, feeling for another warm body beside her but there was none.

She shot out of bed.

Santana wasn't by her side. Memories of the previous night flooded her brain, sending her into a nauseating realization. Was this how Santana felt when she left her to go to Paris four years ago? Did Santana feel like her heart was ripped out of her chest and drained lifeless, then her reluctance to let Brittany back into her life was justified.

Now she knew how it felt like waking up to an empty bed, expecting someone, but finding no one. She did hurt Santana, and the damage she caused must have been really bad.

She jumped at the sound of her phone ringing.

"What?" She growled at the phone upon answering. It was her sister Hallie.

"Why do you sound so out of breath?" Hallie teased.

"You woke me up from sleep, idiot. What do you want?" Brittany was usually cheery and there's no one who brings out her evil side better than Hallie.

"Just open the door, will you? Before my knuckles get sore."

"Stop knocking then!" It was giving her a headache. Grudgingly, Brittany got up from bed. She realized she was naked, and swiftly grabbed the clothes she wore the night before which were scattered on the carpeted floor and jumped into them.

Hallie frowned seeing her sister after opening the door. Brittany didn't even bother to throw a look at her. The younger Pierce followed her inside. She watched as Brittany climbed back into bed, pulling the blanket back up. Hallie stood at the foot of the bed, hands at the back.

"Looking for someone?" Hallie teased. Brittany ignored her.

"What are you talking about?"

Of course Hallie was talking about that person her sister was smooching the other night. She was just turning the hallway to her room next to Brittany's when she caught her kissing one particular brunette. Brittany had no idea.

"You look tired."

"I'm sleepy. Not tired."

"Didn't get enough sleep? What were you doing last night anyway?" Hallie wiggled her eyebrows playfully, eliciting a dangerous narrowing of her sister's eyes.

"Shut up."

"You've got sex hair." Hallie pointed out Brittany's hair.

"I said shut up." But Brittany shot her another glare. Then the glare softened. Then Brittany look lost.

Hallie felt sympathetic towards her sister, who looked so inconsolable at the moment, but trying to pretend so hard that she was fine.

"I found these for you." Hallie produced an expensive bouquet of flowers from behind her, and handed the card attached to it to her sister.

Brittany read the card. She almost cried as she read it.

_I'll always be in love with you._

She slightly turned her head away so Hallie wouldn't see her wiping her eyes. Brittany seemed agitated. She kept picking up her cellphone, as if intending to call someone but everytime she does, she puts it down again.

"If you're so miserable, then why don't you stop torturing yourself and call her?"

Brittany didn't move nor say anything.

"Just call her already." Hallie watched her sister stare into space. She felt sad for her. "I'm not just a stupid sixteen year-old you know. I know Santana's important to you."

Brittany smiled.

"No one wants to get hurt, that's why some people, instead of taking that chance in falling in love, put walls around their hearts, without realizing how miserable it makes them; that it only makes them unhappier. You can't rationalize everything. Why can't you just do what you want and be happy?"

"What if your happiness is the pain of others? What are you going to do?"

"Brittany, what are you so worried about?"

"I don't want to be selfish... I don't want to disappoint you, or mom, or dad..."

"Shit, are we the ones holding you back? Just so you know, we're not an imposing family of dumb, crazy narrow-minds. We'll love you no matter what you do, or who you love."

"Love..." That's the word Brittany had avoided to put in the same sentence as Santana's name. It made her smile. "What do you know about love? You're a teenager."

"I know that you've been in love with Santana since like, I was barely pubescent."

There. Love and Santana in the same sentence.

It didn't sound so bad, after all.

"Yes. I do love Santana." That sounded even perfect on her lips. It sounded right.

"Does she know?"

"No… I haven't told her."

"Seriously?"

"I… I was afraid that if I said those words, I'd hurt her even more if I couldn't be brave for her… if I couldn't fight for her."

"Oh, Britt… Brittany, stop thinking. For once, just... Feel. Listen to what your heart says."

Brittany looked up to see her sister's concerned eyes. How ironic is it that the one who would finally knock some sense into her was her 15-year-old baby sister?

"You know, I'd hug you but I'm quite sure that there's someone else's DNA all over you right now, so... maybe after you shower?" Hallie joked.

Brittany threw a pillow at Hallie who managed to avoid it. The blonde was laughing now, through her sobs. She didn't realize she was already crying. Crying because of the time she wasted, the pain she caused Santana. Or the fact that she could be too late.

When the blonde dancer tried to find Santana, she found that the lawyer had already left the island. She tried calling her but she couldn't reach Santana. Maybe she was on the plane. Maybe she lost her phone.

Brittany didn't get a confirmation until she came back to LA. She found out from Quinn that Santana briefly went back to the US to get some things she needed for her new job. Maya would be taking over the lease of Santana's apartment and would be using Santana's Ford Mustang.

She wasn't heartbroken though. She had a plan. It might take some time tying some loose ends, but after that, she'd have all the time in the world to chase after Santana. And she didn't even care if she'd look like a fool doing it.

The Hague, Netherlands…

It had been two months; a slow two-month period when Santana spent everyday thinking about Brittany. She felt bad for not saying goodbye, for not telling Brittany that she was leaving sooner than she thought, for just leaving a card. But Brittany was going back to Paris eventually, and she would be left alone again. She was afraid that if she said goodbye in person, she never would leave. Her work at the ICJ was keeping her busy enough, though. It helped lessen the moments she felt sorry for herself.

Santana had taken some time to go out to lunch with a co-worker, lawyer Cassie Reynolds. Cassie was a fellow American from Chicago who had been with the ICJ a year before Santana came in. Both were assigned at the Legal Matters Department of the Registry. They immediately bonded, not only because of their culture but because they were of the same age. It wouldn't be easy to find friends here anyway. Santana barely explored the nightlife at The Hague when she'd rather work overtime at the office.

The two had chosen Café Luden at the Plein, one of the most elegant squares in the city, surrounded by government buildings and lined up with other café's and bars. Like the usual lunchtime, the square was crowded with people. They managed to find a seat at the terrace. Santana ordered Lasagne while Cassie settled for Tournedos. Both opted for Crème Brulee for dessert.

Halfway through lunch, Cassie inquired about something that had been intriguing her. While the two of them hung out every now and then for a drink, Santana never really talked much about her life back home.

"So, what's your story?"

"Me?" Santana frowned.

"Yes, you. Why are you here? You've been here for a while now and all I know about you is that you're a badass prosecutor who graduated magna cum laude from NYU Law."

"I don't even remember telling you that." The brunette looked embarrassed. People didn't need to know that she was a dork.

"Yeah, well, word gets around when you're that good. Come on, why are you here miles away from home?"

"It's my dream job." Santana shrugged.

"It's every idealistic young lawyer's dream job." Clearly not the answer Cassie was looking for.

"Probably."

"Is this where you want to be?" Cassie narrowed her eyes at Santana.

"Yeah."

"You don't sound very convincing."

Santana just gave her co-worker a brief look. She pushed the plate of half-eaten Lasagne away from her and started on her dessert.

"There's someone left back home?"

There. The brunette thought of Brittany again, how her hair reflected the sun, how those blue eyes sparkled, how her lips moved.

Those memories made her smile.

"Probably not at home. But there's a girl."

"A girl? Interesting." Cassie wondered if Santana was talking about a girlfriend or not. The Latina made it perfectly clear (when one of their co-workers, a British guy, tried to hit on Santana) she was gay. Everybody assumed she was single, but Cassie was doubtful.

"Yeah..."

"What about her?"

"She's sweet. She has an amazing smile. She can be stubborn at times, and I think she's going to say the same thing about me. A bit uncontrollable when she's drunk. She's indecisive and complicated, but my family loves her nonetheless... She's a dancer."

For the first time since Santana came to The Hague, Cassie saw real happiness in those brown eyes. She was starting to consider Santana as a friend, so seeing that made her smile.

"How about you, do you love her?"

"Yes. I love her so much. I think she loves me as well."

"You think?"

"She never said it."

"Does she show it?"

"I think she did."

"So why are you here? Sounds like you're head over heels in love with her."

"I am."

"Does being away from her make you happy?"

Santana sighed.

"She has her own thing, her own career going on in Paris. I could give this all up, if she would just tell me that she wants to be with me."

"Why does she have to say it? Isn't it more important that she makes you feel it? Why do you have to endure to be apart, when it obviously makes you miserable?"

"Some things need to be said for you to be able to believe it, you know. Sometimes you have to hear it to know that it's the truth. And, some people are just afraid." Santana said, remembering what Quinn told her that night after she and Kate broke up.

After paying for lunch, Santana and Cassie parted ways. Cassie was supposed to attend to some personal business while Santana rushed to get back to the office. She realized she was running late for a meeting with one of the Justices of the ICJ.

Not good.

Santana made her way through the crowd. Everyone was rushing to get back to work and the flow of people was slowing her down. She muttered curses under breath. She should have left earlier and skipped dessert, but there was nothing much to do now. The traffic would probably be a bitch at this time. If she had to run back to her office, she would.

Then someone crashed into her. Turning around and ready to smack the shit out of the person who almost sent her reeling to the ground,

"Look where y-"

Santana's jaw dropped.

"Britt?" Santana blinked, not believing what she was seeing. Was this girl standing in front of her, looking apologetic and smiling that amazing smile at the same time, a doppelganger of the love of her life? Or was it Brittany? Could she even trust her eyes because she thought of her every time that she could? Was this a dream?

"Hi, San."

"Britt?" Santana repeated, as she walked towards Brittany.

"I'm sorry about that, I…" Brittany laughed at herself, not really knowing what to say. She didn't plan on seeing Santana today. She had just moved into her new apartment in Netherlands and had just finished an interview with her new employer. She was hungry and she didn't expect to run into Santana this soon.

"Oh my God, you're really here!" Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany and pulled her close.

She didn't realize she was crying.

"San? You're crying again."

"I'm not crying, Britt."

"Mateo was right. You are a wuss." Brittany joked.

Santana pulled away, smiling through her tears. Yup, she was a wuss. And this crying thing was starting to put a cramp to her too-badass-to-care personality, but Brittany just brings out this part of her.

"I have so many things that I want to ask you, like, what are you doing here, and…" Santana glanced at her watch.

The Justice of the ICJ was not going to be happy if she was late. Not to mention her boss at the Legal Matters Department, and the Chief of the Registry.

"What, San?"

"Britt, I'm really happy to see you. It's just that... despite how much I don't want to leave you here at this time, because obviously, I've really missed you... I've missed you every second of everyday. It's just... I have this thing called work, and skipping meetings is not really excusable especially when you're meeting with Justices, sometimes world leaders, and..."

Santana faltered as she got distracted by the pleading look in Brittany's eyes. Nothing else could ever break her resolve effectively but Brittany. Santana let out a deep sigh. She had to fight the strong urge to stay. It wouldn't be easy to get out of a meeting with the Justice of the ICJ.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I have to go. For now." Santana dialed her number on Brittany's phone so she could save it. "I swear I'll call you later."

"But I have to talk to you about something, too. Now that you're here, I don't think I could wait another second. This is a rare moment of courage. I'm going to tell you something so will you please just li-" Brittany was interrupted before she could even finish.

Santana leaned closer and left a lingering kiss, not on her lips, but close enough. Brittany just had to close her eyes at the feeling of Santana's lips against her skin...

"Let's meet again tonight. Will 8:30 be fine? Here, at this beautiful square. It looks stunning at night. We could have dinner together, then we could talk... and since it gets really cold, we could, you know, cuddle." Santana joked, then winked at Brittany before turning around to leave. "I wish I could get out of this meeting, but… I'll see you tonight, okay?" Santana gave her a flying kiss before waving goodbye.

But Brittany couldn't wait any second longer. She faced her fears, took her long enough. She wasn't going to let Santana out of her sight without telling her the reason why she uprooted herself to the Netherlands. Paris was her dream; The Netherlands was her choice. Santana was her happiness. And Brittany knew Santana needed to hear it.

"I'm in love with you!" Brittany yelled at the top of her lungs.

The lawyer stopped on her tracks, knowing perfectly well to whom that adorable voice belonged. She was going to be late, and she was going to have to face hell if she didn't get to her office on time. But she couldn't move. How could anyone move when the love of your life, an indecisive one, at that, who couldn't even admit her own feelings, one who was so scared to even think of it, was now standing right before you, declaring for anyone within earshot to hear, drawing people's attention, that she was in love with you?

Brittany was in love with Santana. She had been for a long time. And no, Santana was not imagining things. But just like that time at the bar when Brittany asked her for a kiss, Santana didn't believe it. Believing just brought her pain. But when she slowly turned, and when their eyes locked, the look on Brittany's face, the sincerity in her eyes, and the loving smile playing at her lips was too much reason for her to believe that maybe, just maybe, she was the reason Brittany was in Netherlands.

And she was about to find out.

"I love you." Brittany spoke in a tone as if to affirm what she had just screamed a while ago. It felt so good speaking those words. Words never felt so good for Brittany before. Santana, shocked and elated at the same time, just found herself walking towards Brittany, whose beautiful blue eyes were now brimming with tears...

She stopped in front of her, hands shaking as she lifted her hand to wipe the tears that started running down Brittany's cheeks.

"I love you, Santana Marie Lopez. You're the only one who can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. You make me so happy, and I know that if I let you go, _again_, I probably would never find a reason to smile again. And this life I have, this great career in Paris, all these great things in my life would mean nothing if I don't pull myself together and admit that something was missing, and that something, that someone, is you. I already have everything I could want, but none of it matters because I don't have the one that I need... I love you San, and if I have to cross oceans and climb mountains just to make you love me again, I'll do that, because... I don't want a life without you. It's just not worth it."

They didn't realize a crowd had gathered around them, watching as they wiped each other's tears away, looking silly, laughing and crying at the same time.

"Am I too late?" Brittany asked.

Santana shook her head no.

"You're just in time. I love you too, Brittany S. Pierce."

The applause and the shouting got their attention, and both of them blushed after seeing the smiling faces of mostly Europeans, watching them in admiration. And just then, Brittany wondered what she had been afraid of all along, why she waited this long to be with Santana.

Brittany began to figure out the words the people were chanting, but didn't really know what it meant. It sounded like 'kussen' or something. When she turned her attention back to Santana, the brunette had that mischievous grin plastered on her face.

"What were they saying?" Brittany whispered curiously at Santana.

"This is the part when you're supposed to kiss me."

"Oh."

Santana saw the tinge of red on Brittany's cheeks, and she couldn't help but smile. The blonde looked so adorable. She didn't look scared, just shy.

"Go on, before I change my-"

Santana did not get to finish her faux warning as she felt those luscious red lips against her own, kissing her. Who was she to deny Britt? So she kissed back, and they were lost amidst the roaring and applause of the crowd.

When they pulled away, people started dispersing and Brittany felt some of them pat her in the back. Santana was smiling at her, and gave her a peck on the lips.

"That part of crossing oceans and climbing mountains was so lame though. You're so good at being lame." She booped the blonde's nose.

"You fell for it."

"I'd fallen for you a long, long time ago, Britt."

They got lost in another kiss. And before they ended up making out at the Plein, Santana managed to control herself and took Brittany with her to the office.

She was late, but someone up there must really love Santana because the Justice of the ICJ had postponed the meeting due to an urgent case that came to the Court's attention. Her boss did scold her for not arriving on time though, but nothing could possibly dampen her mood today because she had Brittany waiting in her office. She couldn't wait for the day to end so she could spend it with her.

She was walking on clouds.

It was Saturday morning, and Brittany wasn't due to start her teaching job at a prestigious dance school in The Hague until Monday. Santana used to work during weekends even if she didn't have to. But now that Brittany was here, she intended not to work as much as she could so they could spend time together.

They were on Santana's bed and had just finished the "breakfast in bed" Santana made. Brittany was still naked underneath the sheets, but Santana who got up early to cook was wearing her lady boxers and a tank top. They were wrapped in each other's arms and Santana kept placing butterfly kisses all over Brittany's face.

Brittany hummed in approval.

"What did your parents say?" Santana asked. She was curious as to how they reacted when Brittany decided to move to Netherlands all of a sudden.

"About my move here or about you?"

"You told them about me? What did you tell them?" Santana, suddenly interested, pulled slightly away from Brittany so she could look at her face.

"I told them I'm in love with you. And that I had to come here because I've done so many things that hurt you and I had to win you back."

"Wow… That's…" Santana couldn't help herself. She had to kiss Brittany at that moment, and Brittany smiled at the kiss.

"They were surprised. I thought they'd hate me but they came around sooner than I expected. Hallie told me that mom said something about you being a nice person and that if I really love you then she's happy for me. Dad even said that he preferred you to all the douchebags I dated anyway."

Santana laughed.

"I love your parents already."

"I can't wait to tell Maya." Brittany smiled at Santana. Santana's cousin had been so supportive of Brittany from the very beginning so, of all the people she knew, the blonde wanted to tell her first.

"I can't wait to tell Quinn. Wait, I have an idea." Santana grinned as she glanced at the digital clock on her nightstand. It was 11:00 a.m., which meant it was only about 2:00 a.m. in Los Angeles. Grabbing her cellphone, the brunette dialed Quinn's number.

Brittany watched is amusement as Santana yelled at Quinn on the other line to wake up. She got up from the bed; blanket wrapped around her body, and picked up a pair of Santana's boxers and t-shirt from her closet. She headed to the bathroom.

"There's got to be some really important reason for you to wake me up at this time in the morning, Santana, or I'm gonna cut someone, most probably you." Quinn grumbled in a post-sleep haze. When she heard the phone call at that time of the morning, she immediately thought it was an emergency, so despite her body not wanting to get out of bed, she grabbed her laptop and opened up Skype, finding Santana waiting online with an uncharacteristically goofy grin on her face.

"God, you sound just like me."

"See how much of a bad influence you are? What's up?"

"I want you to meet someone."

"Someone?" Quinn was suspicious, raising an eyebrow and now fully awake.

"My girlfriend."

Quinn stared in disbelief at her friend.

"Girlfriend?" Quinn finally asked after recovering from her initial surprise. So Santana found someone new. She was happy that her friend was finally moving on, took her long enough. But the surprising part was that she seemed really happy. Quinn had only ever seen that smile grace Santana's face when she was with Brittany. Could it be that she had found the person to replace Brittany S. Pierce, the only person Quinn thought Santana could love?

"Yeah. That's what I said."

"Is she there? Can she hear me?" Quinn made sure to ask before she say what she's about to say.

"She just went to the bathroom for a bit."

"Look, I'm happy for you and all. I'm surprised that you had to cross oceans just to find someone to replace Brittany, but, this time, I want you to make-"

"Replace me?"

Quinn's eyes perked up upon hearing that familiar voice from the background after the sound of the closing of a door, which the photographer guessed as the bathroom.

"It's just Quinn making assumptions without hearing the rest of my news, honey. Come here." Santana motioned to someone on her left. Quinn heard the footsteps, and when a head of blonde hair showed up on screen beside Santana, with those shining pair of blue eyes staring back at her, Quinn's jaw dropped.

"Oh my God, Brittany?"

"Quinn, meet my girlfriend, Brittany Susan Pierce." Santana proudly announced with that genuinely happy smile on her face.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! You guys are together now? Brittany, you left Paris? Oh my god, finally! I'm so happy for you guys! Give me the details!"

"Quinn, are you crying?" Brittany asked as she sat on Santana's lap.

"Quinn, you're such a sap!" Santana teased.

"Santana has a new girlfriend?"

A fourth voice stilled the conversation. Santana and Brittany exchanged looks, while Quinn looked like a deer caught in headlights. Santana knew that look. Her bestfriend had been hiding something from her. But from this, the lawyer could only guess that Quinn was finally dating someone—a girl, which was a first, and, they probably had sex prior to this early morning conversation. She could tease Quinn forever for finally giving in to her girl-on-girl tendencies, but Santana couldn't get past the part that she had heard that voice somewhere before.

Santana stopped thinking when Rachel Berry's face filled half of the monitor as she poked her head in beside Quinn's.

"Oh, hi Rach!" Brittany waved happily at the actress.

"Brittany! So you're the new girlfriend? I knew Santana would never find anyone else. You're like soulmates or something."

"Shit, Fabray, are you fucking Rachel Berry?" Santana's face was a mix of surprise, pride (that she actually saw this coming), happiness (that Quinn found someone), and disgust (that it was Rachel).

"Shut up, Lopez."

"Tons of lizard and hobbit jokes just came to my mind right now." Santana joked.

"Ugh, you're insufferable. Sometimes, I wonder why we're friends."

"Birds of the same feather." Santana shrugged.

"Enough of this morning chat. Rachel has to fly back to New York early and I have to drive to Malibu for a job after dropping Beth at my mother's."

"Hey, let's go on a double date." Brittany suggested.

"It would have been great if we don't live, like, thousands of miles from them." Santana kissed Brittany on the cheek, making Quinn roll her eyes.

"Santana, I'll get the whole story next time." Quinn glared playfully at her friend before signing off.

Turning her attention to the irresistible blonde on her lap, Santana playfully wiggled her eyebrows at Brittany, who just laughed and jumped off to run away from her. The brunette chased her to the living room, where they continued with their sexy times that day.


	9. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

"Honey..."

Santana heard her girlfriend, but she continued pacing barefoot around their bedroom, wearing Brittany's oversized t-shirt and her own underwear. She really couldn't decide what to do first, whether to pack the rest of her clothes that now lay scattered on the floor, make breakfast, or to check if she didn't forget her passport. On the other hand, Brittany who just woke up sat on the middle of the bed, yawning and stretching her limbs at the same time, watching her in amusement.

"San, sweetheart, do you need help?" Brittany smiled lovingly at her as the blonde called her attention again. The term of endearment brought a big smile on the brunette's face.

Santana allowed a deep sigh escape her lips.

"Yes please."

"Come over here first." The blonde beckoned her girlfriend to the bed, opening her arms.

Santana gladly climbed back to bed, pulled the red sheets off the blonde and positioned herself on Brittany's lap, straddling her. She wrapped her arms around the dancer's neck, placing a peck on her girlfriend's lips.

"Good morning, mi amor." Santana whispered, before leaning in again to capture Brittany's lips for one full kiss.

"Mmm…"

Brittany moaned into the kiss, parting her lips as soon as the brunette's tongue softly caressed them, begging for entrance.

"You're so sexy when you talk Spanish in your morning voice…" She let her hands roam the side of Santana's bare thighs, loving the feeling of her own skin against the brunette. This had always been her favorite part of her days since moving in with Santana four months ago, where they don't get out of bed unless and until necessary. She dubbed it their 'romantic mornings', when they just stay close and indulge in each other's presence, usually making out, sometimes they end up making love. It was nice but most of the time during weekdays they had to be quick because they always arrived late at work every time they let themselves got carried away.

Brittany loved mornings like this too; just a quiet, peaceful morning when they just kiss and snuggle and murmur sweet nothings in the other's ear.

It had been almost a year when she made the move to the Netherlands to be with Santana. She remembered how it all had been; a combination of fear, excitement, love, happiness, longing, that's what she had felt. It felt just like yesterday, when she made that life-changing decision of leaving her dream job in Paris, to run after the love she had once lost. Now she knew it was the best decision she had ever made. She found an equally satisfying job, and she's with Santana. And that's all that she needs, actually.

"You're so tensed." Brittany remarked while trying to catch her breath. Her arms were now wrapped around the slim waist of the brunette, her hands affectionately stroking her back. It would be their first flight back to the United States after they finally got together. They agreed to go on vacation and celebrate their one year anniversary. Part of it would be spent with the Pierces, then with Santana's mom, brother and relatives on a trip to Veracruz, before going to Milan, Italy, just the two of them. It was actually the first stop that was causing the brunette's tension. The dancer looked on at her anxious girlfriend, waiting for reply.

"This will be the first time that I would be facing your parents, not just as your friend, but as your girlfriend. Your very first girlfriend. Of course I'm tensed!" Santana stared at Brittany's blue eyes.

"First and last." Brittany corrected, a smile tugging at her lips.

This, of course, made Santana feel all so giddy inside. She ran her hands through blonde hair, taking pleasure of the way it makes her feel. Everything about this is so perfect, with Brittany here wearing her tank top and boxer shorts (they obviously love wearing each other's clothes), looking adoringly at her, touching her. She wanted to spend the rest of her life like this.

"They love you." Brittany continued.

"That was before they knew my intentions for their eldest daughter were more than just rated PG! What if your father kills me?!" Santana screamed in exasperation. She truly was scared of facing Brittany's parents now. Hallie, she can handle, as long as that brute does not throw that fake spider at her direction ever again.

"Oh, he wouldn't. He'll probably just threaten you with his shot gun that if you ever hurt me, he'd be forced to use it. Standard procedure." Brittany shrugged. She then pulled her girlfriend closer and started peppering kisses on her neck, making Santana groan as the blonde started to focus on her pulse point with the clear intention of marking her.

"Like that makes me feel better." Santana said, voice now heavy with arousal and eyes shutting close as Brittany's right hand teasingly moved its way underneath her shirt and up Santana's toned abs, touching every cranny and crevices. It didn't take long for the blonde's hand to move to the better, and her more favored areas of Santana's body.

When the warm hand started groping her left breast and began to shamelessly tease her nipple, Santana couldn't help the hiss that involuntarily came out of her mouth, her hips grinding against the blonde's. Brittany laid back down the bed, pulling Santana with her without stopping her hand's ministrations. Now with both hands available, Brittany tangled her left hand through Santana's hair, and pulled her for a kiss, theirs lips moving in perfect synchronization. Brittany grinned into the kiss when another satisfied whimper came out from Santana's mouth.

The need for air became too much, but Santana did not pull too far away. She let her right hand caress the side of Brittany's jaw, then her neck, then traveled down to massage Brittany's breasts through the fabric of her tank top, eliciting a gasp from the blonde. With her left hand on the right side of Brittany's head supporting her, she only took one breath and continued kissing the blonde, but this time, she gave her girlfriend small pecks on her forehead, on her left cheek, her jaw, right cheek, on the nose, and last, on her lips.

"Can't we just see each other in Veracruz?" The brunette was clearly dreading seeing Brittany's parents again. Who can blame her though? Brittany had never brought a boyfriend home before; to bring a girlfriend home would be the first of all firsts.

"Hey, you're not the only one anxious here. This would be my first time with your family as your girlfriend as well, and you have like, the whole clan. I'm nervous as hell." That was a lie, of course. The dancer was so excited to see Santana's family again. She was actually planning things to do with Maya already, but her girlfriend didn't need to know that. Right now, she just wanted to make Santana feel better about being introduced to the Pierces again, this time, as Brittany's girlfriend. Her wandering hands traveled downwards and stopped at Santana's ass, giving it a playful squeeze to slightly distract the brunette.

"Nervous? They've been praying for this! They wanted me to marry you from the very first time they met you!"

"Marry me?" Brittany raised an eyebrow.

"Well, uh, you know… I mean, I know we'd get there someday." Santana stuttered uncharacteristically, blushing in embarrassment for bringing it up.

Brittany tried to hold the laughter. They haven't talked about marriage. It's barely a year since they were officially together. But there was never a doubt in her mind where their relationship was going. She knew what she wanted, though neither of them had tried to voice it out yet. But does it really matter how long they have been together when she had been in love with Santana for as long as she can remember?

"And when do you think that someday would be?" Brittany played it casual, just to make Santana squirm. She always enjoyed watching a fidgeting Santana.

"Uh…" If she would be honest, Santana wanted to say as soon as possible but she didn't want to rush Brittany and she didn't want to scare her away.

"You're so cute, San." The dancer brought her hands back up to cup Santana's face and leaned up to place a soft kiss on Santana's lips.

"Cute? Did you just tell me I'm cute?"

"Why don't you let me finish packing your bag while you go and make us some breakfast?"

"And then sexy times later?" Santana asked, sounding hopeful. Brittany pretended to be contemplating about it before answering.

"I'll think about it." The blonde flipped them over, so that now she was on top, and the pouting brunette underneath her.

"But honey-"

Santana was interrupted by another kiss from her girlfriend. But before she could enjoy it further, Brittany jumped out of bed, heading to the pile of clothes that obviously belonged to Santana.

"Breakfast first. I'm hungry." Brittany knew she had to focus at the task at hand or they might be flying back to the US tomorrow without anything for Santana to wear. Unlike Santana, she had no problem packing. She had no worries about coming to see Santana's family, and she was actually very excited to introduce Santana to her parents, as her girlfriend.

And maybe future wife.

That thought made her feel giddy.

To say that Santana was nervous would be an understatement. At that moment, she thought a heart attack was imminent and she's probably going to die before she could even plan on proposing.

Santana was at the Pierce household, inside the study room, alone with Mr. Arthur Pierce, whose steel blue eyes had been fixed on her since she entered. It had only been a few hours since her and Brittany touched down in Los Angeles. Dinner was nice but slightly filled with tension. Mrs. Phoebe Pierce had been pleasant, more than Santana actually expected, and Hallie, well, she had no problem with Hallie.

Mr. Pierce was another story. He barely smiled. He was nice, but he was a bit distant. The head of the family also kept giving the lawyer scrutinizing looks and she felt scared under his gaze. Santana always been closer to and liked Mr. Pierce more, but since coming back as their daughter's girlfriend, the brunette felt like something had changed.

She wished it wasn't the case. When Hallie told her that their father wanted to talk to Santana, she almost ran away. There's no doubt as to what Arthur wanted to talk to her about. But would he want her to leave Brittany alone? Does he approve of their relationship? Does he actually approve of Santana? Santana thought of so many negative possibilities that before reaching the study, she was already prepared with things to say to defend her and Brittany's relationship.

As she waited for Mr. Pierce to say something first, she was starting to worry.

"Did you really follow my daughter to Paris, Santana?"

Santana cleared her throat. Mr. Pierce was acting so formal, she felt like she was in a job interview.

"Yes… sir."

"Hmm… Why?"

The answer was simple. And she wanted Mr. Pierce to know how much she meant it so, she looked up and held his stare. If this was a challenge, then she will make sure that she will pass this with flying colors, for Brittany.

"I have been in love with your daughter since the first time we met at that little bookshop near Stanford, Mr. Pierce."

Santana stopped at that, but it looked like Brittany's dad was waiting for her to explain further. So she continued.

"When she decided to go to Paris, she was taking my heart with her, so I followed her. I… I knew what I want, but that's not what Brittany wanted then." Santana sighed. "Mr. Pierce, I don't really know what you want me to say. But I can tell you that those years away from her made me realize that there's no way that I could live my life without her. I love Brittany. I love her with all of me and she loves me. When I'm with her, I feel so contented and happy and complete, like I've just found this missing piece of me. She makes me want to dance. She makes me want to sing. She makes me want to do cartwheels under the rain. She makes me want to get married and have children and all those serious couple things…" She was starting to tear up, not knowing why. Mr. Pierce just sat there, listening to her. It was hard to read what was running through his mind, but he seemed attentive.

"Sir, I know that this is not what you expected for Brittany. I know that I am not the one you thought that Brittany would bring home one day. All I know is that this lifetime is not even enough time for me to show Brittany how much I love her. I love her and I will love her forever, Mr. Pierce. You may not approve of me-"

"Who said that I don't approve of you?" Those steel blue eyes, soft all of a sudden, close to resembling Brittany's were looking curiously at her. Mr. Pierce cleared his throat before speaking again. "My daughter loves you very much, Santana."

Santana couldn't help but smile.

"I never really met anyone of her ex-boyfriends. Well, maybe some of them, but those were accidental meetings at the mall or some place else. Brittany never brought anyone of them to meet me and her mother. You were the only one." A smile played on Mr. Pierce's lips. "I must say, when she first came out to me last year, I was surprised. But I gave her a chance, I listened. She talked about you… And since then, I had no doubt. Brittany found the missing piece of her, too."

The brunette gaped at Mr. Pierce. So did it mean he's okay with her and Brittany?

"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable during dinner. I wanted to talk to you first, find out your intentions, you know, parent stuff. It's my job to make sure my daughter would not get hurt."

"I will never hurt her."

"I believe you, Santana. And just so you know, I couldn't have asked for a better girlfriend for my daughter."

With that, Santana felt relieved and she was finally able to breathe. Mr. Pierce then moved on to lighter stuff, like asking her about her job at the ICJ. They even discussed the new NFL season which Santana knew nothing about. She was happy that things felt normal again between her and Mr. Pierce. She felt like she was a part of the family, the way Brittany's father had always made her feel.

It was 9:00 p.m. when Santana went out of the study. Upon reaching the living room, she found Hallie giving her an odd look, while Brittany was all dressed-up. The blonde had the family car keys on her hand.

"Did my dad scare you?" Brittany walked towards her.

"Slightly, yes." Santana laughed at herself. "Are we going somewhere?"

"Nope. Just me."

Santana raised an eyebrow.

"I just have to meet some friends tonight."

"Who?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"It's a secret. But we're not going to have fun, I swear."

Santana looked suspiciously at her girlfriend. Hallie spoke.

"Just trust her, Santana."

"Fine." Santana grumbled. What was she supposed to do when Brittany was out with friends?

"I'll be back before you know it." Brittany leaned closer and kissed Santana. "I'll miss you, honey."

"I'll miss you more." Santana smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

"Not possible." Brittany kissed her again.

"Yuck, you're both so lame and gross." Hallie pretended to gag. Brittany and Santana just laughed.

"Alright, I'm not going to be the possessive kind, so, go on and be safe before I change my mind." Santana flopped down on the couch beside Hallie.

"Give me another kiss." Brittany demanded. She was behind the couch, and when Santana leaned back, looking up at Brittany and puckered her lips for a kiss, Hallie just had to roll her eyes.

They did the Spiderman kiss.

"Ugh. Have sex in front of me, why don't you?" Hallie winced at the two who finally forced their lips away from each other.

Brittany playfully pulled at Hallie's ear before heading for the door.

"See you later, sweetheart." Still not contented with their little make out, the blonde blew a kiss towards Santana's direction.

Brittany had been long gone and Santana still had that stupid smirk on her face.

To Santana's surprise, Brittany was back at the house less than two hours later. What she didn't know was that Brittany had been at Maya's apartment, formerly Santana's, with Quinn, Rachel, Mateo, Noah and Mike. As to what their agenda were, well, she's about to find out.

Veracruz, Mexico…

It felt like Christmas. Not only was Santana's side of the family was present in this get-together. It wasn't originally planned to be a big thing, but now the Pierce family was here as well. Brittany did not mention that her parents and sister were arriving that day. She was surprised to see them, but Santana couldn't be happier when she saw how her family welcomed Brittany's family.

Brittany was sitting on the staircase inside the beach house with a stemmed glass of red wine on her hand. When she took a sip, she watched through the lid of her glass as her girlfriend interacted with her parents in the living room. They seemed to be having a good chat and the blonde could only guess what they were talking and laughing about. A smile played on Brittany's lips, seeing how natural it was to be here, with her parents and Santana's family, how it felt right.

"You really have to be careful with your leering."

The joking voice snapped Brittany out of her trance. Maya sat next to her, looking amused.

"I knew you two were meant to be. Took you some time to get your shit together, but, you're totally endgame." Maya smiled.

"I still wonder how I got so lucky…" Brittany's eyes flickered back to Santana's direction.

As if feeling her girlfriend's eyes on her, Santana's head turned towards her direction and when their eyes met, the brunette smiled, and mouthed the words, 'te amo'. The smile on Brittany's face could not be any bigger. Santana returned to conversing with Brittany's parents.

"Hey." Maya nudged Brittany with her elbow.

"What?" The blonde's eyes were still fixed on her girlfriend's direction.

"I was rooting for you." Maya confessed.

"Thanks." Brittany slightly blushed.

"Nervous?"

"The weird thing is, I'm not."

"So, are you ready for this?"

"Maya, I have never been this sure about anything in my life."

Maya watched as Brittany sat in silence, staring at her cousin. It was endearing to watch how lovesick those two were. Then she saw her brother Mateo by the door, making the thumbs-up sign at her. She returned the sign, then whispered to Brittany.

"Thank God we're ready because I don't think your parents could hold Santana any longer." Maya offered her hand and pulled Brittany up. Earlier, they have conspired with the Pierces and every member of Santana's family to keep her occupied and never let her wander outside. Before heading outside, Maya nodded at Hallie, who made sure that Santana would not follow Brittany to the door.

Minutes passed, and Santana had been thoroughly enjoying the talk with Mr. and Mrs. Pierce. Hallie joined them later. She was beginning to lose interest however, and when she did not find Brittany at her spot on the stairs, she craned her neck at every possible direction, hoping to find her.

That's when Hallie's phone rang and the dark blonde excused herself. Brittany's parents also decided to head somewhere when Santana's mother, Beatriz, approached her.

"Hi, mom."

"Hello, mija." Beatriz smiled at her daughter.

"So, what do you think of Britt's family?" Santana looked at her mother curiously. She really wished that they'd get along well.

"They are wonderful. Just like Brittany."

"They are, aren't they?" Santana's cheeks turned slightly red, and a bashful smiled played on her lips. This wasn't a normal Santana reaction, she was never shy.

This almost made Beatriz laugh, but at the same time, she was pleased. Her daughter had never been happier, and it was all because of that blonde dancer who, just three hours ago, asked her for her daughter's hand in marriage. Without a beat, she said yes, of course. But she was also surprised because if there was anyone to propose between Brittany and Santana, she would expect her daughter.

And now here was her daughter, totally in love but completely clueless.

Santana noticed that her mother's eyes were brimming with tears, and when Beatriz pulled her and hugged her tight, she was concerned.

"Mom, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay. I'm just a bit overwhelmed, that's all." When Beatriz pulled back from the hug, she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"About what?"

"That you're all grown up."

"Mom, you're acting really weird right now. Are you sure you're feeling fine?"

"Your father would have loved Brittany."

"I know, mom." The thought of it brought a smile on Santana's face.

Memories of her late father, Dr. Ricardo Lopez, suddenly came back to her. He was kind, soft-spoken, a loving husband, and a doting father. He was a very good orthopedic surgeon too, who played with her and Mychal after work despite of how tired he was. He talked about big dreams for his children, and he always showed how much he loved Santana's mother. Just like Santana, he had dark hair and an amazing dimpled smile. When Santana was 19 and before she even finished her pre-law, he died of a heart attack. She took a long period to mourn her beloved father's death. Her mother must have been missing him, and now, she missed him too. She wished he had met Brittany.

"Uhm, so mom, have you seen Britt around?"

Before her mother could answer, a blindfold was shoved into Santana's face.

"She just called. And she wants you to wear this."

The brunette raised an eyebrow at Hallie, then turned questioningly at her mother.

"If I were you, I'll do what she says." Beatriz grinned at her daughter, before leaving her with Hallie.

"What's going on here?" Santana narrowed her eyes at the dark blonde. Strange things had been happening the whole day. For one, Brittany did not mention about the Pierces coming although their presence was very welcome. Second, Brittany kept disappearing and she had no idea where her girlfriend had been going. And third, she swore she had seen Noah Puckerman somewhere in that house earlier in the morning.

"You heard your mom." Hallie helped Santana put the blindfolds on. Then she assisted Santana in walking out of the house.

"Where are you bringing me and why do I have to wear these blindfolds again?" The brunette was starting to sound impatient as she held tightly onto Hallie's arm. Brittany's sister was leading her somewhere and she had no idea.

"Will you stop asking questions and let things be? You'll love this. I promise."

"I feel like I'm being kidnapped."

Santana and Hallie were taking slow steps, but as they got nearer their destination, Santana heard the sound of a band playing. A few more steps, and they stopped.

Santana tried to reach for Hallie who was gone all of a sudden, leaving her alone standing on the sands. The intro of the song 'I don't want to miss a thing' was playing when she heard her girlfriend's voice over the microphone.

"Take the blindfolds off, honey."

Finally hearing Brittany's voice, Santana excitedly pulled the blindfold off her eyes, only to find herself standing awkwardly and alone while her family members and the Pierces who were gathered were watching her with big smiles from a distance. She did not see the stemmed red rose that each of her male cousins were holding as she turned her eyes back to her girlfriend.

Brittany was playing the keyboards.

Her girlfriend did not play any musical instrument before, and now she's playing the keyboards.

What surprised Santana even more was that the band playing the song was composed of people close to her. Mike was on the drums. Noah was on the lead guitars. Maya was playing the violin. Mateo was playing the bass guitar. Quinn and Rachel held a microphone each.

And her oh-so-talented girlfriend was now a keyboard player.

Santana felt so proud.

This would be their most memorable anniversary ever.

As Rachel started singing the lyrics to the song, Mychal gave her that one red rose and asked her to dance that she turned a curious look at Brittany. Her girlfriend just winked at her. Santana blushed and giggled.

Santana's male cousins followed one by one, each giving her a rose, which eventually formed into one bouquet of beautiful reds, just how Brittany liked it.

"_Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating, and I'm wondering what you're dreaming, wondering if it's me you're seeing, then I kiss your eyes, and thank God we're together, I just want to stay with you in this moment forever, forever and ever, I don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep, 'cause I'd miss you babe and I don't want to miss a thing, 'cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do, I'd still miss you babe and I don't want to miss a thing…"_

The brunette was actually having fun dancing with her cousins. She was also enjoying this little show her girlfriend had put on. It was more than impressive. When did even Brittany and their friends squeeze in time to practice?

Santana's cousin John was twirling her around and they were laughing so hard at their antics when she noticed that Brittany was no longer playing the keyboards and Quinn had taken her place. She looked around, and found the blonde dancer standing not too far away from her, smiling at her, eyes full of adoration. John nodded at Brittany before walking back to the others.

Without need for words, Brittany pulled Santana by the waist, holding her closer than she had ever before, not caring whether her parents or her sister or anyone else in the world was watching. She felt that the bouquet of red roses were now becoming heavy for Santana, so Brittany let all of it fall on the sand, except one.

Now with free hands, Santana's arms naturally wrapped around the blonde's neck.

"This is incredible... really lovely. I didn't even know you learned how to play a musical instrument." Santana gave Brittany a short kiss on the lips.

"Do you like it?"

"Like it? Every time you try to do something to impress me, you just make me fall in love with you even more."

"Happy anniversary, honey."

"I'm surprised with the grandiosity. I really loved it. And I also love that you brought your family over to get to know my family."

"Good." Brittany pulled Santana closer, who hummed in approval.

Brittany sang along with Rachel, whispering the lyrics of the song to Santana's ear.

"_I don't want to miss one smile, I don't want to miss one kiss, I just want to be with you, right here with you, just like this, I just want to hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine, and just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time…"_

And then she let the remaining red rose drop on the sand.

Brittany dropped on one knee.

On cue, Rachel stopped singing, the band continued playing, but Santana barely noticed as she tried to lean down for Brittany but Brittany stopped her.

"No." Brittany held on to Santana's hand.

"What?" Santana was confused.

"I love you, Santana."

"I love you too, honey. Uh, did you drop something? Should I help you find it? Because I don't want you to scratch your knee."

"And I couldn't live without you."

"I know. Brittany, what are you doing, what-"

Brittany pulled the small, black velvet box, and slowly, she opened it for Santana to see.

Santana gasped.

"Oh…"

"Here's the thing. Everytime I look into the future, I see you... I couldn't imagine any part of it without you. I want to make sure that I will spend the rest of it with you, if you'll agree. I know it's only been a year since we got together, but I don't think it matters how long we have been official, because I have been in love with you for a long time, and I keep falling in love with you everyday, so, Santana Marie Lopez... will you marry me?" Brittany looked up at her girlfriend, trying not to sound too nervous. She didn't really feel the nerves getting to her until now, when she was waiting for Santana's answer.

On the other hand, Santana just seemed flabbergasted. She was speechless. The blonde had the tendency to always render her speechless.

"Oh my God…"

"San?"

"Britt…" Santana was staring open-mouthed at the ring being held up by her girlfriend for her to see. It was sparkling beautiful.

"Sweetheart, I'd really love it if you tell me your answer now, preferably a yes? Because I've already asked your mom and your brother and they are with me on this one. Even your cousins are ecstatic and… San?" Now the blonde was starting to worry. Was it too soon? Didn't Santana want this? Weren't they on the same page?

Brittany had never been so scared in her life. She just assumed that Santana would say yes. For the number of times she played this scenario in her head, she never thought that it could go any other way.

But what if she was wrong?

"Just say yes, you idiot!" Quinn's voice through the microphone broke the silence and generated some laughs from Santana's family members.

"I heard that! Shut up, Quinn!" Santana finally recovered from her daze.

With a big smile on her face, she turned her attention back to her girlfriend who was still on her knees.

"Of course Britt! Oh my God, I'll marry you! I'll marry you everyday of my life!" Santana let Brittany slide the ring into her left ring finger, then as soon as it fit, she pulled Brittany up.

"Okay, that would be too expensive." Brittany joked.

"Shut up and kiss me."

Brittany complied all too gladly. She teased her girlfriend, now fiancée, with pecks on the lips. This obviously wasn't what Santana want. So she did not protest when Santana forcefully pulled her face closer for a proper kiss; a long, deep, passionate one.

As they continued kissing amongst the holler and wolf-whistles, Rachel Berry stood teary-eyed, watching her friends.

"Uhm, Rach?" Quinn called at her.

"What?" Rachel hastily wiped her tears.

"You're supposed to sing?" The photographer reminded her. Rachel missed her cue a few times already.

It was then that Rachel noticed the weird looks Mike, Noah, Mateo and Maya were giving her as they continued playing their instruments.

"Oh, right..."

"_When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, I could offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love…"_

"Not our song?" Santana's arms were wrapped around Brittany's neck as they started slow dancing again.

"You mean Songbird?"

"Yeah, that song. Still makes my heart melt."

"It's not ours anymore."

As Santana looked into Brittany's eyes, she suddenly remembered the time during her aunt and uncle's wedding, when she danced with Kate, with that song...

"Tonight is just about us, San. I don't want to share you with Kate or with anyone else, not even in a song... After all those things we went through, I realized how possessive I am when it comes to you. So, I'm warning you now San, I can be so jealous so you better keep your act together." Brittany joked, but she meant it.

"No worries, sweetheart. I'll make sure to keep my act together." Santana leaned her head on Brittany's shoulder as they took pleasure of just dancing with each other.

"_I could make you happy make your dreams come true, nothing that I wouldn't do, go to the ends of the earth for you, to make you feel my love, to make you feel my love…"_

After Rachel's song, the third and last song was played.

Noah started singing the lyrics of Runaway by The Corrs.

"_Say it's true, there's nothing like me and you, I'm not alone, tell me you feel it too, and I would runaway, I would runaway, yeah, yeah, I would runaway, I would runaway with you, 'cause I have fallen in love with you, no never have I'm never gonna stop fallin' in love with you…"_

"I have a question for you, Britt."

"What is it?"

"You didn't think I'll be the only one wearing an engagement ring, did you?"

"What?"

Santana pulled out her own small red box from the back pocket of her jeans. It was coincidence, really, that she had it with her as she was planning to talk to Brittany's parents tonight to ask for their blessing. She opened it, pulled the diamond encrusted ring out, and put it into Brittany's left ring finger.

"You were going to propose?" Brittany looked amazed at how they always seemed to be in sync.

Soulmates, what can I say?

"Well, not today, but I was… I couldn't have topped yours, though." Santana kissed Brittany's ring finger before kissing her on the lips again.

"_C__lose the door, lay down upon the floor, and by candlelight, make love to me through the night, 'cause I have runaway, I have runaway, yeah, yeah, I have runaway, runaway, I have runaway, with you, 'cause I have fallen in love with you, no never, oh, oh, I'm never gonna stop fallin' in love with you, and I would runaway, I would runaway, yeah, yeah, I would runaway, I would runaway with you…"_

"I'll love you all my lifetimes, Santana Lopez…"

"Wow, how am I supposed to beat that?"

"So I guess you lose the bet then."

"Bet?"

"You're getting married before you're 30, San. I told you, I don't want you to grow old alone."

"You didn't propose to me just to win that bet, did you?" Santana narrowed her eyes at Brittany, feigning accusation.

"Well, that's part of the reason, yes." Brittany giggled when Santana playfully hit her in the arm. The blonde leaned in closer, resting their foreheads against each other. "And because I love you so, so much." She whispered against plump lips.

"I love you too, Brittany S. Pierce."

"'_cause I have, I have fallen in love with you, no never, oh, oh, I'm never gonna stop fallin' in love with you, fallen in love with you, no never have, I'm never gonna stop fallin' in love with you, with you, my love, with you…"_

"I guess we're growing old together then."

"Sounds like a great plan, Britt."

"San?"

"Yes, my dear fiancée?"

"Thanks for not giving up on me, and for being braver than I am. I can't wait to marry you. I can't wait for you to be mine, San." Brittany pulled Santana closer, until she could feel her heart pounding against her chest.

"Honey, I've always been yours. Proudly so…"

**THE END**


End file.
